A post actually about me?
Below is a decent sized rant, or story perhaps. You're welcome to read or not as you so choose (obviously). Things that I wanted to mention outside of that cut, though -
1) Jumping on the Christmas card bandwagon (and realizing that being "adult" now, I should do some of my own) if you would like a card from me email your address to eff.the.ineffable at gmail dot com. If you have been advertising as well, I'll probably email you in a little bit. If you don't get an email from me, poke me. Chances are I've lost a tab or two in the 5 billion I seem to have open in Firefox at any one time.
2) I actually mentioned this in the cut as well, but....if you know of alternatives to the JET program, I would be interested in hearing about them. Particularly if their deadlines haven't already passed or anything. =) I....really want to go to Japan next year and I want to have some options available/that I could pursue if JET doesn't accept me.
3) In rather depressing news, an undergrad at my school apparently committed suicide on Sunday. I didn't know him well, but I knew him. (He came in a year after me, and in a school of that size it would be almost impossible to not have known him.) I can't even imagine how his family or roommate or friends are feeling now.
4) Related to #3, if there's anything that I want you to take from that news, it's that if you're having problems - talk to someone. It can be scary to go to a therapist/counselor for the first time. You don't have to be crazy or suicidal to go to one, though, and they can be great to just talk to. Same with health educators, deans, RAs, friendly upperclassmen, whatever. (I've used all of them.) I used to randomly stop by the office of our health educator to just rant or blow off stress. She was an impartial person, willing to talk, and could offer suggestions when needed. And she'd (figuratively) kick my butt when needed to remind me that 3 hours of sleep per night is terrible for both your physical and emotional health, or that eating vegetables was in fact a good thing. =) I may just sound really preachy now, but counseling centers and people like that can be truly awesome. Seek them out and use them, especially when you're having problems. Please.
Now on to the rest.
Alright, so let's start this story off with a description of myself. I'm a white female living in California, though I lived for most of my life in West Texas. I'm also approximately six feet tall, more than slightly overweight, and probably have enough hair for another person or two. (If it's short enough, it becomes a blond/brown afro. Hence, it's not short.) I'm pretty much large by all standards (a Texas woman, my father jokingly calls it), so understandably I'm not going to fit in terribly well in a crowd of Asian people. Normally I don't pay too much attention to this, and no one else really does either. I go to Little Tokyo in LA often enough and think nothing of it. No one ever really gives me weird looks, though perhaps Little Tokyo is more on the tourist side than I give it credit for. Or just being downtown does the trick.
Two weekends ago, though, I went to the Koreatown Plaza in...Koreatown, LA. I'm sure you never could have guessed. =) It's more like an actual mall than I was expecting, just one geared at Korean clientele. On that Saturday there were three non-Asians in the place that I ever saw, including myself, and the other two appeared to be with their Asian spouses. This didn't bug me terribly much, except that everyone was looking at me strangely. Clerks tried to covertly follow me around in stores. I know I'm sort of spoiled in growing up how and where I did since I haven't had to experience discrimination of that sort before, but it was really strange. And it finally occurred to me that if I do manage to go to Japan next year....that's more likely how it's going to be. I really wouldn't fit in (perhaps on multiple levels) in that (or any Asian) country. Not really speaking the language doesn't help either. (I'm learning Japanese, but I've had a grand total of a year of instruction in it....not exactly fluent. Or competent.)
I still really want to go to Japan next year, though. I turned in my JET application (like many many others are doing) and hope that I'll get in to that program. I've heard plenty of stories that people aren't likely to get in on their first try, though, so I'm looking into backups now. If anyone has any suggestions on alternatives, I would greatly appreciate it. While the JET program would definitely be the ideal way to go for me...I don't really have the patience to wait for them to accept me if they don't this year. I've more or less put my life on hold to try for this, though perhaps a better way to look at it is that I'm taking some time to figure out what I want to do with my life. I've got my bachelors degree in Physics, but I was too burnt out of school to go on to a graduate program just yet. Pretty much all of my current options do require more school....just not quite yet. I could do law school, but it's unlikely. Lawyers are too argumentative (but necessity) for my tastes. I could, alternatively get a paralegal certification. This would be more tempting, though I'm still not really sure I want to stick with the legal field. It's interesting (I'd really like to get a chance to work for someone in Intellectual Property Law) but....I'm still more of a nerd at heart. The next option would be a masters degree - in computer science so that I would actually be qualified for an IT job, or something such that I could teach (education, math, or physics). The last option would be attempting a Ph.D. in astrophysics. It's an awesome subject....but I'm not really sure I want to devote my life to research. Then again, I sort of prefer school to the real world at times.
Right now, I just need a job, though. I have two prospects - an interview on Thursday for a physics lab technician position, and an interview I did last week with a local law firm. Either sounds ok. The physics job is actually full time (hence benefits) unlike the law firm position, but the law place is closer and I could supplement the pay by tutoring, which I sort of miss. Neither has actually offered me a position, though, so who knows. I need something to pay the bills for now, though. (I'm not broke yet, but I'm not fond of blowing through my entire savings, even if being a bum is kind of nice.) I really am just sort of wasting a year right now, in some ways. It feels terrible at times, because...I could theoretically be doing so much more. But I really want to go to Japan and I wouldn't feel comfortable starting something that I couldn't finish before that. This is sort of my chance to be an idiot and do whatever I want. I don't have a significant other, I don't have kids, and I don't have a house or a job or whatever to give me obligations and responsibilities yet. I'm just hoping I won't screw it up. =)
1) Jumping on the Christmas card bandwagon (and realizing that being "adult" now, I should do some of my own) if you would like a card from me email your address to eff.the.ineffable at gmail dot com. If you have been advertising as well, I'll probably email you in a little bit. If you don't get an email from me, poke me. Chances are I've lost a tab or two in the 5 billion I seem to have open in Firefox at any one time.
2) I actually mentioned this in the cut as well, but....if you know of alternatives to the JET program, I would be interested in hearing about them. Particularly if their deadlines haven't already passed or anything. =) I....really want to go to Japan next year and I want to have some options available/that I could pursue if JET doesn't accept me.
3) In rather depressing news, an undergrad at my school apparently committed suicide on Sunday. I didn't know him well, but I knew him. (He came in a year after me, and in a school of that size it would be almost impossible to not have known him.) I can't even imagine how his family or roommate or friends are feeling now.
4) Related to #3, if there's anything that I want you to take from that news, it's that if you're having problems - talk to someone. It can be scary to go to a therapist/counselor for the first time. You don't have to be crazy or suicidal to go to one, though, and they can be great to just talk to. Same with health educators, deans, RAs, friendly upperclassmen, whatever. (I've used all of them.) I used to randomly stop by the office of our health educator to just rant or blow off stress. She was an impartial person, willing to talk, and could offer suggestions when needed. And she'd (figuratively) kick my butt when needed to remind me that 3 hours of sleep per night is terrible for both your physical and emotional health, or that eating vegetables was in fact a good thing. =) I may just sound really preachy now, but counseling centers and people like that can be truly awesome. Seek them out and use them, especially when you're having problems. Please.
Now on to the rest.
Alright, so let's start this story off with a description of myself. I'm a white female living in California, though I lived for most of my life in West Texas. I'm also approximately six feet tall, more than slightly overweight, and probably have enough hair for another person or two. (If it's short enough, it becomes a blond/brown afro. Hence, it's not short.) I'm pretty much large by all standards (a Texas woman, my father jokingly calls it), so understandably I'm not going to fit in terribly well in a crowd of Asian people. Normally I don't pay too much attention to this, and no one else really does either. I go to Little Tokyo in LA often enough and think nothing of it. No one ever really gives me weird looks, though perhaps Little Tokyo is more on the tourist side than I give it credit for. Or just being downtown does the trick.
Two weekends ago, though, I went to the Koreatown Plaza in...Koreatown, LA. I'm sure you never could have guessed. =) It's more like an actual mall than I was expecting, just one geared at Korean clientele. On that Saturday there were three non-Asians in the place that I ever saw, including myself, and the other two appeared to be with their Asian spouses. This didn't bug me terribly much, except that everyone was looking at me strangely. Clerks tried to covertly follow me around in stores. I know I'm sort of spoiled in growing up how and where I did since I haven't had to experience discrimination of that sort before, but it was really strange. And it finally occurred to me that if I do manage to go to Japan next year....that's more likely how it's going to be. I really wouldn't fit in (perhaps on multiple levels) in that (or any Asian) country. Not really speaking the language doesn't help either. (I'm learning Japanese, but I've had a grand total of a year of instruction in it....not exactly fluent. Or competent.)
I still really want to go to Japan next year, though. I turned in my JET application (like many many others are doing) and hope that I'll get in to that program. I've heard plenty of stories that people aren't likely to get in on their first try, though, so I'm looking into backups now. If anyone has any suggestions on alternatives, I would greatly appreciate it. While the JET program would definitely be the ideal way to go for me...I don't really have the patience to wait for them to accept me if they don't this year. I've more or less put my life on hold to try for this, though perhaps a better way to look at it is that I'm taking some time to figure out what I want to do with my life. I've got my bachelors degree in Physics, but I was too burnt out of school to go on to a graduate program just yet. Pretty much all of my current options do require more school....just not quite yet. I could do law school, but it's unlikely. Lawyers are too argumentative (but necessity) for my tastes. I could, alternatively get a paralegal certification. This would be more tempting, though I'm still not really sure I want to stick with the legal field. It's interesting (I'd really like to get a chance to work for someone in Intellectual Property Law) but....I'm still more of a nerd at heart. The next option would be a masters degree - in computer science so that I would actually be qualified for an IT job, or something such that I could teach (education, math, or physics). The last option would be attempting a Ph.D. in astrophysics. It's an awesome subject....but I'm not really sure I want to devote my life to research. Then again, I sort of prefer school to the real world at times.
Right now, I just need a job, though. I have two prospects - an interview on Thursday for a physics lab technician position, and an interview I did last week with a local law firm. Either sounds ok. The physics job is actually full time (hence benefits) unlike the law firm position, but the law place is closer and I could supplement the pay by tutoring, which I sort of miss. Neither has actually offered me a position, though, so who knows. I need something to pay the bills for now, though. (I'm not broke yet, but I'm not fond of blowing through my entire savings, even if being a bum is kind of nice.) I really am just sort of wasting a year right now, in some ways. It feels terrible at times, because...I could theoretically be doing so much more. But I really want to go to Japan and I wouldn't feel comfortable starting something that I couldn't finish before that. This is sort of my chance to be an idiot and do whatever I want. I don't have a significant other, I don't have kids, and I don't have a house or a job or whatever to give me obligations and responsibilities yet. I'm just hoping I won't screw it up. =)