Topdogs, Underdogs, and Improving My Ankles.

[effrenata]

My ankles are slowly getting better, to the point that I'll probably be able to go to the store soon. I've realised that one of the things that's holding me back is the embarassment I'll face having to walk very slowly. Right now, I can still only take tiny baby steps

Comments

[rose7]

One of the reasons I don't care much for the "disabled rights" movement (at least for what I've heard of it) is the entitlement mentality which says that disabled people have the right to demand that business owners lose money and able-bodied people suffer inconvenience on their behalf. Why should everybody else have to slow down to match my speed?
...
One does so by appealing to their better instincts, by their natural desire to be seen as noble and admirable by others.
...
By holding the Underdog to a lower standard -- "I can be annoyed at you, but don't you dare have any negative feelings about me -- the inequality is perpetuated.

I very much enjoyed reading this insightful little essay. Your entry explained perfectly for me, why I feel so annoyed by the demands of some "Underdogs", while I would be willing to be simply polite and graceful because I don't want to see myself as being rude and unhelpful - exactly like you stated.
I think one of the reasons why "Underdogs" are demanding and have a lot of negative feelings toward the "Topdogs" is that it is very hard to be always on the receiving end of kindness. So, to preserve one's self-respect you have to feel entitled and it also helps to dehumanize and perhaps even demonize those you feel should help you. Also, it is much easier to feel entitled and disregard the feelings of others because "they have all and I have nothing and it is their fault", than to try and help yourself, and to be considerate of others. A statement that meets quite some political situations as well, I have found, since it is much easier to blame another country or some groups for my misery than to face my own responsibilities and change my ways.

[effrenata]

I think one of the reasons why "Underdogs" are demanding and have a lot of negative feelings toward the "Topdogs" is that it is very hard to be always on the receiving end of kindness. So, to preserve one's self-respect you have to feel entitled and it also helps to dehumanize and perhaps even demonize those you feel should help you.

Yes, true. It's an attempt to regain lost status through exerting social pressure ("Underdog manipulation") as Perls puts it. The fact that we unconsciously adopt these roles is a part of our genetic programming, and I think the way out of it is to evolve to a higher level, to become centered in oneself rather than needing social confirmation from others. If one has a strong sense of worth from within, external circumstances do not matter.

But our genes resist by saying, "You must throw poo at the other monkey!", and social conditioning also reinforces this. So it's a matter of becoming aware of these patterns and deconditioning oneself, consciously shaping what nature and nuture have given us.