(no subject)
I have recently decided that LiveJournal is a much better place for introspection than Facebook. The times have changed drastically since I first began exploring the Internet and therefore I find Facebook to really be the best place to interact with other on the web, but this site remains the best for long parables to myself, I do believe.
I recently find myself in a bit of a rut. I am applying to be a Resident Adviser for the next school year, meaning a free room and half a meal plan as well as many responsibilities. Although the application has been out since November, one of my mentors told me that it was not actually available unless a person had attended an RA info session. I could not attend any last quarter and am scheduled for one the evening the quarter starts on Tuesday. However, my New Year's Resolution was to not complain* and so I thought to avoid procrastination, I would look into what I could do today. Lo and behold, I did NOT have to wait until the 3rd to start this and if I had, I most certainly would have never completed it because all documents are due the 8th except for references! So immediately I sent out some e-mails, including one to my mentor for references and got to work on the application.
He sends me this long text explaining in detail how inconsiderate I am being by dropping this on him so late, but of course he will do it like that amazing person he is. This guy is... he has a great drive and I respect him a lot, but his arrogance can be grating at times and this is kind of one of them. But instead of replying with "Hey, you're the one who told me to wait!" or something similar, I felt obliged to give the English equivalent of 申し訳ございません, which, by the way, there isn't one. It's literally "There is nothing that should be said" but is loosely translated to one of the most formal ways to apologize in any given situation. Often, 申し訳 is translated as "excuse" so I guess the best translation is "I have no excuse."
This isn't really the problem. The problem is this is ALWAYS my first reaction when I have created a grievous blunder such as this one. And if I were in Japan, it would be fine, but the fact of the matter is I am here in America where that kind of behavior is alarmingly strange. It affects how I work, how I interact with my coworkers and boss, and most parts of my daily life and it leaves me confused.
I AM an American. I'm not kidding myself into thinking I'm Japanese. This is not a forced thought process; it comes FAR too naturally, really. I have NOT been raised to immediately respond to situations this way. Currently, I feel as though I have 義理, obligation, that needs to be repaid as soon as possible.
Again, if I were in Japan, not only would this be exemplary behavior, but I'd probably be the teacher's pet of the year. In America, people just kind of look at me strangely.
In order to show my boss and other people that it isn't that I'm shy or uncomfortable with authority, something that is not a good quality in an RA candidate, I need to find a way to be more American about this. As it is, I don't feel like I should share my personal life with my boss simply because he's my boss. There are boundaries.
This rant sounds much better in my head. What it comes down to is that I am beginning to feel too Japanese to survive in American business situations. I'm not one of those people who always says America < Japan, because by all means, the fact that America DOESN'T have this kind of obligation culture is a positive thing, but I feel alienated in my own country some days.
Anyone else who has immersed themselves in some kind of cultural study feel the same way? :/ Thoughts on how to prevent it?
*By not complaining, I mean that instead of complaining to do something about it. If I don't like my energy levels, I need to become healthier instead of complaining that I'm tired and fat. If I don't like getting sick, I need to find time in the day to rest so that I don't end up that way. If I don't like being stressed, I need to not procrastinate to avoid the stress building up that way. Etc, etc. This is my thought process.
I recently find myself in a bit of a rut. I am applying to be a Resident Adviser for the next school year, meaning a free room and half a meal plan as well as many responsibilities. Although the application has been out since November, one of my mentors told me that it was not actually available unless a person had attended an RA info session. I could not attend any last quarter and am scheduled for one the evening the quarter starts on Tuesday. However, my New Year's Resolution was to not complain* and so I thought to avoid procrastination, I would look into what I could do today. Lo and behold, I did NOT have to wait until the 3rd to start this and if I had, I most certainly would have never completed it because all documents are due the 8th except for references! So immediately I sent out some e-mails, including one to my mentor for references and got to work on the application.
He sends me this long text explaining in detail how inconsiderate I am being by dropping this on him so late, but of course he will do it like that amazing person he is. This guy is... he has a great drive and I respect him a lot, but his arrogance can be grating at times and this is kind of one of them. But instead of replying with "Hey, you're the one who told me to wait!" or something similar, I felt obliged to give the English equivalent of 申し訳ございません, which, by the way, there isn't one. It's literally "There is nothing that should be said" but is loosely translated to one of the most formal ways to apologize in any given situation. Often, 申し訳 is translated as "excuse" so I guess the best translation is "I have no excuse."
This isn't really the problem. The problem is this is ALWAYS my first reaction when I have created a grievous blunder such as this one. And if I were in Japan, it would be fine, but the fact of the matter is I am here in America where that kind of behavior is alarmingly strange. It affects how I work, how I interact with my coworkers and boss, and most parts of my daily life and it leaves me confused.
I AM an American. I'm not kidding myself into thinking I'm Japanese. This is not a forced thought process; it comes FAR too naturally, really. I have NOT been raised to immediately respond to situations this way. Currently, I feel as though I have 義理, obligation, that needs to be repaid as soon as possible.
Again, if I were in Japan, not only would this be exemplary behavior, but I'd probably be the teacher's pet of the year. In America, people just kind of look at me strangely.
In order to show my boss and other people that it isn't that I'm shy or uncomfortable with authority, something that is not a good quality in an RA candidate, I need to find a way to be more American about this. As it is, I don't feel like I should share my personal life with my boss simply because he's my boss. There are boundaries.
This rant sounds much better in my head. What it comes down to is that I am beginning to feel too Japanese to survive in American business situations. I'm not one of those people who always says America < Japan, because by all means, the fact that America DOESN'T have this kind of obligation culture is a positive thing, but I feel alienated in my own country some days.
Anyone else who has immersed themselves in some kind of cultural study feel the same way? :/ Thoughts on how to prevent it?
*By not complaining, I mean that instead of complaining to do something about it. If I don't like my energy levels, I need to become healthier instead of complaining that I'm tired and fat. If I don't like getting sick, I need to find time in the day to rest so that I don't end up that way. If I don't like being stressed, I need to not procrastinate to avoid the stress building up that way. Etc, etc. This is my thought process.