Dream Misinterpretation
Again, I am attacked by a memory by a weird dream I had days after I actually had it.
I rented a shitty apartment somewhere near the ocean, and because it was so shitty I went to stay with my parents for a long-ass time, avoiding the gross apartment. Finally my mom is like, "If you don't want to live there anymore you have to at least go back to tell your landlord and get your things." I choose a gray, unhappy day to tell my landlord that I'm outta there and she doesn't say anything really because all my dreams are muted, I just know inside my head what people are trying to say to me. When I get in the apartment it's all dusty and infested with spiders. I mean, completely overrun with spiders. They're fucking everywhere, and the biggest, baddest spider, the leader spider actually can speak english and talks to me, telling me that my stuff is now their stuff and if I want to take it I have to get through them. I don't remember an epic battle or anything like that, but I do remember feeling like I was losing and a black horde of spiders running up and out all over the walls before I woke up.
Why does this matter? Because I never ever remember my dreams but I remember this one and another one I had a couple months ago with a familiar character.
In my old dream my brother, my friends, my teachers, they were chasing me with this big black spider, telling me it was my baby and they were trying to return it to me. Everytime I lose someone holding the awful thing in my face, I run into someone else and they go, "Oh! I was just looking for you, you left your baby spider back there, here take it." And again I'm confronted with this spider in swaddling clothes that I don't want but everyone seems to think belongs to me.
When I look up "spider" in a dream dictionary of course the meanings run between success and death. That's what everything you ever dream of means, success or death with a hundred other options in between that is really unhelpful. One site says spiders are a sign of feminine power, am I avoiding my femininity? Am I being attacked by it? Another source says they have to do with feeling like an outsider. Am I an outsider who has a fear of being accepted? Or a fear of being on the outside forever? Or is it saying that the people in my life perceive me as an outsider even though I don't think of myself as one? Finally there's a short sentence on another site that says the spider is a protector, am I running away from protection? Let me tell you one thing when I see a spider that big, or that many in my dreams I do not feel all safe and protected, I freak the fuck out.
I guess the upside to any dream interpretation is that whatever your subconcious is really trying to tell you, it's something that you inherently already know so you'll never be unpleasantly surprised or in any real danger...Right?
I rented a shitty apartment somewhere near the ocean, and because it was so shitty I went to stay with my parents for a long-ass time, avoiding the gross apartment. Finally my mom is like, "If you don't want to live there anymore you have to at least go back to tell your landlord and get your things." I choose a gray, unhappy day to tell my landlord that I'm outta there and she doesn't say anything really because all my dreams are muted, I just know inside my head what people are trying to say to me. When I get in the apartment it's all dusty and infested with spiders. I mean, completely overrun with spiders. They're fucking everywhere, and the biggest, baddest spider, the leader spider actually can speak english and talks to me, telling me that my stuff is now their stuff and if I want to take it I have to get through them. I don't remember an epic battle or anything like that, but I do remember feeling like I was losing and a black horde of spiders running up and out all over the walls before I woke up.
Why does this matter? Because I never ever remember my dreams but I remember this one and another one I had a couple months ago with a familiar character.
In my old dream my brother, my friends, my teachers, they were chasing me with this big black spider, telling me it was my baby and they were trying to return it to me. Everytime I lose someone holding the awful thing in my face, I run into someone else and they go, "Oh! I was just looking for you, you left your baby spider back there, here take it." And again I'm confronted with this spider in swaddling clothes that I don't want but everyone seems to think belongs to me.
When I look up "spider" in a dream dictionary of course the meanings run between success and death. That's what everything you ever dream of means, success or death with a hundred other options in between that is really unhelpful. One site says spiders are a sign of feminine power, am I avoiding my femininity? Am I being attacked by it? Another source says they have to do with feeling like an outsider. Am I an outsider who has a fear of being accepted? Or a fear of being on the outside forever? Or is it saying that the people in my life perceive me as an outsider even though I don't think of myself as one? Finally there's a short sentence on another site that says the spider is a protector, am I running away from protection? Let me tell you one thing when I see a spider that big, or that many in my dreams I do not feel all safe and protected, I freak the fuck out.
I guess the upside to any dream interpretation is that whatever your subconcious is really trying to tell you, it's something that you inherently already know so you'll never be unpleasantly surprised or in any real danger...Right?