Why do I fuck up more as I get older?
It seems a little backwards, doesn't it?
Have forgotten to pay macy's credit card, making it the fourth time in a row I'll be slammed with late payments, haven't followed up on black box publicity sent three weeks ago and now have no idea if any of the papers I sent it to will be running it, and am currently 10 chapters and 3 reading guides behind in my spanish literature class.
It's not that things went particularly smoothly for me when I was younger, but I had less people who would come up to me and remind me that I'm a fuck up when that happened, that's all. And I tended to give a shit about things a lot more.
Ahhh youth, it sucked when you had it and you weren't old enough to do anything, and it sucks when it's gone and you regret not taking better advantage of it. I miss not having to work, sleeping in on weekends, being totally uninterested in boys and dying alone and loveless...and I wish that I did more illegal stuff.
Despite feeling like an old wrinkly hag who sucks at life there are still the dependable people older than me who use my age as a reason for their superiority to me, and are inclined to make me feel more of a fuck up by virtue of being only 21 and unable to grasp the many wisdomful wisdoms that pour on top of your head after you reach a certain age. Dear god if I ever turn 30 and start trying to improve the lives of all beings 29 and under with my abundant life experience I really do believe I would just kill myself to rid the world of one less judgemental arrogant prick.
The other day I thought that the worst feeling in the world is when you're old and your only regret is that you didn't kill yourself when you had the chance. Like you stuck with it for all those years for nothing, and everyone who promised you things would get better/arrange themselves your entire life were lying, and you just kept putting it off because you believed them. God that would suck.
Have forgotten to pay macy's credit card, making it the fourth time in a row I'll be slammed with late payments, haven't followed up on black box publicity sent three weeks ago and now have no idea if any of the papers I sent it to will be running it, and am currently 10 chapters and 3 reading guides behind in my spanish literature class.
It's not that things went particularly smoothly for me when I was younger, but I had less people who would come up to me and remind me that I'm a fuck up when that happened, that's all. And I tended to give a shit about things a lot more.
Ahhh youth, it sucked when you had it and you weren't old enough to do anything, and it sucks when it's gone and you regret not taking better advantage of it. I miss not having to work, sleeping in on weekends, being totally uninterested in boys and dying alone and loveless...and I wish that I did more illegal stuff.
Despite feeling like an old wrinkly hag who sucks at life there are still the dependable people older than me who use my age as a reason for their superiority to me, and are inclined to make me feel more of a fuck up by virtue of being only 21 and unable to grasp the many wisdomful wisdoms that pour on top of your head after you reach a certain age. Dear god if I ever turn 30 and start trying to improve the lives of all beings 29 and under with my abundant life experience I really do believe I would just kill myself to rid the world of one less judgemental arrogant prick.
The other day I thought that the worst feeling in the world is when you're old and your only regret is that you didn't kill yourself when you had the chance. Like you stuck with it for all those years for nothing, and everyone who promised you things would get better/arrange themselves your entire life were lying, and you just kept putting it off because you believed them. God that would suck.