Some Idiots Make Too Many Pop Culture References
Title: Some Idiots Make Too Many Pop Culture References
Fandom/Series: Some Idiots
Characters: Walt Holiday, Cade Somers
Pairing: Walt/Cade.
Summary: Refusing to stay behind the next time Cade had to leave for some other world/timeline adventure, Walt is nervous about the whole time-travel process and makes jokes and pop culture references to calm himself while drinking Mountain Dew.... Yeah.
Challenge/Theme: Timed writing exercise on October 29th, 2009 using Dr.Wicked's Write-or-Die to get a feel for my 2009 NaNo characters. 25 minutes. I can't remember the prompt for it.
Length: 907 words.
Genre: General.
Rating: G. (Omg, G-rated Walter? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!)
Status: Complete.
Warning: Slash, bad jokes, and possible over-load of pop culture references.
Notes: The Cade and Walter featured in this story, while not as developed as their Some Idiots Have All The Luck counterparts are a lot more developed than as they appear in "Television, Television". They're still not fully-dimensional characters at this point.
--
Walter Holiday was a mercenary, not a scientist: That statement sort of reminded him of Bones from Star Trek.
And so, he couldn’t help himself.
“Dammit, Jim, I can’t do that, I’m a doctor not a milkman,” he randomly said, trying to hide his nervousness regarding the whole situation; Cade was making him absolutely anxious about it. “I can’t do this time travel crap, Jim.”
“You’ll be fine, Walt,” Cade said, wrist deep in wiring and fixtures, “and stop calling me Jim.”
“But I’m nervous as all hell, Jim, and calling you that is making me feel a lot better about this. I hope to god you know what you’re doing, 'cause I sure as hell don’t!” To calm his nerves, Walt guzzled an entire can of Mountain Dew, which as anybody who has recently consumed a Mountain Dew would inform you, was absolutely the worst thing he could have swallowed down for his nerve problem.
Cade Somers, the time traveling super telekinetic soldier from an alternate future of an alternate Earth's alternate time line, would have been more than willing to devote a measly five minutes of his time to make some fresh tea. In fact, reconfiguring the teleportation matrix with a jittery Walt constantly pecking at him was actually quite nerve-wracking. He could have used a fresh cup of jasmine himself.
“So, uh, are we really going to another dimension?” Walt was fully aware of Cade's origins, and being the 21st century man that he was, was decidedly against leaving his time period. It would screw up everything he had going for him on Earth, which was absolutely nothing, but at least that bit was comfortably meaningless. “’Cause you know, I’m not really....”
“You’ll be fine, Walt.” Cade sauntered over to the holographic keyboard and typed in some coordinates. “This was your idea after all.”
“Nu-uh! I only said that if you were going to play the Hero of Time, I wanted to at least tag along instead of playing Princess.” He paused for a moment, letting his last thought form completely before sharing: "I don't look good in pink!"
Cade couldn’t help but be amused at Walter's quirks. The man indeed had a point in that pink was certainly not the color best suiting for his skin tone. “Right,” he said. “It’s only going to be a short trip.”
Walt had gotten himself another ‘Dew from the fridge and was continuing the conversation in the kitchen, which was three rooms over. “Short? Isn’t a trip through time and space RELATIVE? You know, the whole Einstein shindiggy? Like, we could be gone eighteen hours but in MY Earth time, we’d only be gone half of a nanosecond?”
“Exactly.” Cade’s strong voice carried well over the noise from the teleportation matrix. “I plan for us to only hit a few choice worlds, and then we’ll be back before your show comes on.”
“It’s at seven,” Walt said. “It’s already six-forty-five. I doubt we’ll be back in time.” He was back in the room, already working on his fourth ‘Dew. “....not even leaving an adequate cushion for me to watch the commercials....” he mumbled.
Cade was still focused on the holoscreen displays rotating on the monitors around him. He didn’t even need to look at Walt to know he was soon going to be suffering a sugar rush and a hasty bladder - the merc was already starting to twitch. “That’s not really the best thing to be drinking four minutes from launch.”
“Yeah, well -” Walt gave the seasoned traveler a cursory look-over, noticed that the man in question was still clad in yoga pants and a tank top, and said with great ferociousness, “Your mother dresses you funny.”
“My mother is in another world, Walt,” said Cade. “She’s also very much dead.”
“Ooooh... Now I feel bad.” Walt drank more Dew to drown his icky feelings of remorse.
“It's okay.” Cade sounded a little too cheerful, regarding the subject matter. “If we land on the right plane at the right moment in the right time line, you might get to meet her before I’m born.”
Walt thought about that for a second. “Wait - wouldn’t that cause a paradox?”
“Depends if I’m the unborn fetus in the womb, or if that’s my alternate timeline half-brother. Actually, I have met other versions of myself. Sometimes that event alone caused the world to explode - sometimes it just gave me really bad indigestion whenever I made it back to my regular plane of existence.”
“Sounds tricky.”
“Time travel is, most of time.” Cade finished up the connections. “You can never be too sure when something you think is wrong is actually nothing at all, and the thing you think is scientifically sound ends up ending an entire civilization.”
Walter laughed at his own odd thought. “I guess that means you’re a mass murderer, huh?”
“Accidentally, yes.” A pause, as Cade internally fought with some of his inner demons for only a moment. “You ready to have your first time walk experience?”
“Yes, if you’re ready for my endless stream of Magic: The Gathering references!”
“Ready when you are.” Cade tapped a final keystroke, and their mission was begun. The machine was fired up, whirring with fierce energy arcs scraping the ceiling and whipping their clothes around with ethereal winds.
They grabbed hold of each other’s hands, and set foot in another world together.
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