(no subject)
I hate this feeling...loneliness...hate...fear...pain...death...that seems to be all I think about lately...I just want it to all go away...there are very few reasons I'm still here right now.
Number 1 is Josh - He always makes everything okay. I don't even know how. Its just something that he's been able to do for the longest time. When I'm with him, or talking to him I just feel safe and secure and happy.
Number 2 is Victoria and Marisa - No matter much they piss me off and bug the fuck outta me, their my sisters...I love them and I don't want them to know the pain that I've lived with for as long as I can remember. They don't deserve it.
Number 3 is Before I die, I want to do something that will be remembered...do something good for someone else...I don't know I'll Paint something beautiful...or Write a book...or write a book and draw the pictures, I don't fucking know.
"...And I want to be known for my hits not just my misses. I took a shot and didn't even come close at trust, and love, and hope..."