(no subject)
God I hate myself. I finally get to talk to him for a few minutes (he's been grounded) and I don't really say anything. I haven't talked to him in almost a week and I don't have anything to say? what the fuck is that?!? FUCK!!!!! But yeah. Stupid. stupid. stupid. I hate the shit that is my life. why can i not tell him how i feel? why does he only tell me how he feels online? does he really feel that way? or does he just say it because its what he thinks its what I want to hear? I just want to go find something really sharp and cut and cut and cut until all of my emotions go away. just like I used to do. it worked before...but it hasn't really worked the past few times I did it...nothing helps anymore...nothing...