(no subject)

[effing_hippie]

A friend requested this from me, I went under my bed, got out a storage box and went through 3 complete notebooks before finding it.

Its annoying how it is as applicable now as it was then. Do I learn?

The truth is
I do this
because I want you to love me.
I want you to feel connected to me.
I want you to feel the ecstasy
that you give to me when you say my name.
And every day I play it cool to your face
because if it weren't for you I'd never leave this place
I call
my mind.

I've tried.
And I've lied about how much I need you.
Feigning your touch
wish
want
long for
craving
yearning
request
beg
implore
I searched my thesaurus for the right word,
but it simply wasn't there.

I dare say this feeling
takes over my body,
detaining my emotions,
incarcerating my senses,
killing me from my heart out.

Its not about what I've done before.

I'm scared to be happily married,
still carrying my love for you on my honeymoon.
I'll carry that love while driving my children to school,
and I'll take it to the grave,
still slaving for you to care.
My love for you tied to my bare back,
my love for you won't hold me back from pretending to move on.

So I implore.

Please, just don't let me.