Call It a Syndrome
Cause I can't decide what I want.
Some nights I want to be rich and fabulous with the most unique and sexy clothing where I am surrounded by successful artists and beautiful ones at that. These days I see myself in all the coolest places on all the right nights.... and I see all the coolest art shows and I'm friends with all the restaurant owners and I have a stylist and a hair stylist and every man wants to fuck me, but I don't let them. and I always get pedicures and I look good in red lipstick. And wherever I'm sitting there is always beautiful young girls all around me that everyone eats with their eyes. And I have an awesome reputation. I never go anyplace cheesy or end up in bad movies. I see every show at the Box ( http://nymag.com/nightlife/features/26979/ ) and it gets old, I'm bored.
and then I fucking hate myself for letting the thought cross my mind.
And I want to live in solitude and travel the world and not be obligated to anyone but myself. I want to be vegan and only buy organic clothing made in the country I'm living in. And I see myself as an amazing cook and I hardly ever wash my hair and I meditate sevral times a day and I do yoga every morning. And I'm quiet. I only buy food from fresh markets and I am so content with the way things are. I volunteer everywhere I go and it makes a difference and I make people remember me and they smile. I build eco-friendly houses and I survey beaches and forests and I plant trees and learn about people and their culture. And I'm so softened and in love with life that I'm asexual.
other times I want to be this sexual beast where I just school men on what pleasing a woman is all about and I never please them and they still come back for more. And I'm so sexy and feirce and I never make those stupid faces and I don't talk all the time because it makes me mysterious. and I work out really hard to have a sick body that men are floored by and even women want to fuck me and I fuck them all and I enjoy it and I bathe in the warmth of all the sensuality in my life.
then I want to be a metropolitain every-woman. I want to make money and wear a suit and visit museums and wear glasses and use pencils to put my hair up in a bun. My kitchen is marble and huge and I have a 180 degree view of manhattan on the downtown side. and I have a man who is everything my mom wants and I'm happy with him and I'm so sober and sensible and organized. and we live together and we have a cleaning lady who dusts our bottles of wine in our mini cellar.
but really... all i really want is to be that yogi hippy who eats, sleeps, and breathes organic vegan eco-friendly life. Its so much to change and I love it. I'm doing my best.
Some nights I want to be rich and fabulous with the most unique and sexy clothing where I am surrounded by successful artists and beautiful ones at that. These days I see myself in all the coolest places on all the right nights.... and I see all the coolest art shows and I'm friends with all the restaurant owners and I have a stylist and a hair stylist and every man wants to fuck me, but I don't let them. and I always get pedicures and I look good in red lipstick. And wherever I'm sitting there is always beautiful young girls all around me that everyone eats with their eyes. And I have an awesome reputation. I never go anyplace cheesy or end up in bad movies. I see every show at the Box ( http://nymag.com/nightlife/features/26979/ ) and it gets old, I'm bored.
and then I fucking hate myself for letting the thought cross my mind.
And I want to live in solitude and travel the world and not be obligated to anyone but myself. I want to be vegan and only buy organic clothing made in the country I'm living in. And I see myself as an amazing cook and I hardly ever wash my hair and I meditate sevral times a day and I do yoga every morning. And I'm quiet. I only buy food from fresh markets and I am so content with the way things are. I volunteer everywhere I go and it makes a difference and I make people remember me and they smile. I build eco-friendly houses and I survey beaches and forests and I plant trees and learn about people and their culture. And I'm so softened and in love with life that I'm asexual.
other times I want to be this sexual beast where I just school men on what pleasing a woman is all about and I never please them and they still come back for more. And I'm so sexy and feirce and I never make those stupid faces and I don't talk all the time because it makes me mysterious. and I work out really hard to have a sick body that men are floored by and even women want to fuck me and I fuck them all and I enjoy it and I bathe in the warmth of all the sensuality in my life.
then I want to be a metropolitain every-woman. I want to make money and wear a suit and visit museums and wear glasses and use pencils to put my hair up in a bun. My kitchen is marble and huge and I have a 180 degree view of manhattan on the downtown side. and I have a man who is everything my mom wants and I'm happy with him and I'm so sober and sensible and organized. and we live together and we have a cleaning lady who dusts our bottles of wine in our mini cellar.
but really... all i really want is to be that yogi hippy who eats, sleeps, and breathes organic vegan eco-friendly life. Its so much to change and I love it. I'm doing my best.