(no subject)
Finnegan is sick, sick a lot with a gross hacking cough that sounds like a 80-year-old chain-smoking diner waitress trying to hoark up a badger that has become thoroughly lodged in her dessicated throat.
To combat the puppy death plague, he currently gets to take two horse pills every 8 hours and, of all things, children's formula cough syrup. The pills are easy: horse pills or no, anything that can be wrapped in salami or hidden in cheese is TOTALLY OK in Finnegan's books.
The cough syrup, though...well, maybe it's my fault for thinking he'd like grape better than bubble gum, but seriously, I don't care how badly he hates it, it should not be this difficult to get medicine into an animal. I can pill cats. I have dosed Jasmine with vile liquids in large quantities. How is it that wrangling two TEASPOONS of sugary grape-y goo into Finnegan is so impossible?
Here is a by-no-means complete list of things that Finnegan WILL eat with great gusto:
- cat turds
- sod
- green olives, with or without pimento - he prefers the cheese-stuffed ones from Trader Joes, tho
- blue cheese
- aerosol whipped cream - straight outta the can, no less. that's training right there.
- jelly beans
- egg shells
- any and every fruit and vegetable known to man (I give him broccoli stems instead of bones. really.)
- HIS OWN EYE BOOGERS
So seriously, what in the hopping HELL is with the histrionics at the mere SCENT of the Benelyn?
It's technically the optional part of his treatment, except what is optional medically is NOT optional reasonably; I don't care if I have to wrestle him to the ground and shove the spoon straight down his throat to get it into him - ANYTHING is better than another night rendered sleepless by a dog making loud, vocal, surprisingly resonant hairball-hacking and gagging noises every 10 minutes the whole night through.
My life: more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. As long as all the monkeys have ebola, anyway.
To combat the puppy death plague, he currently gets to take two horse pills every 8 hours and, of all things, children's formula cough syrup. The pills are easy: horse pills or no, anything that can be wrapped in salami or hidden in cheese is TOTALLY OK in Finnegan's books.
The cough syrup, though...well, maybe it's my fault for thinking he'd like grape better than bubble gum, but seriously, I don't care how badly he hates it, it should not be this difficult to get medicine into an animal. I can pill cats. I have dosed Jasmine with vile liquids in large quantities. How is it that wrangling two TEASPOONS of sugary grape-y goo into Finnegan is so impossible?
Here is a by-no-means complete list of things that Finnegan WILL eat with great gusto:
- cat turds
- sod
- green olives, with or without pimento - he prefers the cheese-stuffed ones from Trader Joes, tho
- blue cheese
- aerosol whipped cream - straight outta the can, no less. that's training right there.
- jelly beans
- egg shells
- any and every fruit and vegetable known to man (I give him broccoli stems instead of bones. really.)
- HIS OWN EYE BOOGERS
So seriously, what in the hopping HELL is with the histrionics at the mere SCENT of the Benelyn?
It's technically the optional part of his treatment, except what is optional medically is NOT optional reasonably; I don't care if I have to wrestle him to the ground and shove the spoon straight down his throat to get it into him - ANYTHING is better than another night rendered sleepless by a dog making loud, vocal, surprisingly resonant hairball-hacking and gagging noises every 10 minutes the whole night through.
My life: more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. As long as all the monkeys have ebola, anyway.