the inevitable
so......today was not a great day.
there have been days when I have had bad things happen but today was a first.
today was the first time I ever got the sack from a job.
that is right folks, the inevitable happened, the cut me loose.
now I know this is not earth shattering, everyone pretty much has it happen at some point, no one died and yes, I saw it coming, but still....
The official line in this matter is that they need to retrain me, and right now do not have the manpower to do so. I pushed in a subtle way, wanting more information. Basically I left enough silence my former boss felt forced to fill it.
This is it.
the guy who trained me swears black and blue that he at least talked to me about the major part of the system I did not know. This was to be expected, the guy has to save his own ass, and I am sure he did not even remember if he did it or not. What it comes down to is that yes, we discussed that part of the system, and I was told it would not be a problem, as thie system did things automatically. what I did not know was that if there is a fault in the system and it does not do it automatically I would have to do it manually. I also, because I had no experience in the job, even realise that I was missing a part of the system. I thought things were ok. Of course the guy who trained me had the same fault on his computer, and said it did not really matter so when I had the same fault, told them, nothing happened I was not concerned.
The boss is disappointed I did not ask for help when I needed it. She completely missed the point that because I was undertrained I did not even realise I had a problem, and when I did have questions I did call. I was badly undertrained.
The computer had a fault, and of course I am responsible because I did not report it. Ok, lets make this fun kiddies, I reported it to various people repeatedly, and nothing was done, in one ear and out the other. I don't think anyone heard a word I said. The wanted me to be completely competent with almost no training, and I think that is difficult, don't you? I thought I was competent, I was constantly complimented, called the company's rising star...then well.....we know the rest, suddenly I am mud.
Try this for being unfamiliar with procedure.... It took three months of work before I put in for a pay cheque because I was not in the actual office and trained long enough to know general office procedures. Oh yeah...I am pretty sure I have been underpaid too.
My work email never got operational.
every business trip I had was a total fuckup.
but you know what the biggest kicker was? that the justification they used was the great fallacy....
Ever heard of it?
Classic connundrum, two men arguing a case, and the first man opens by saying "my oponnent is a liar, you cannot believe a word he says, he lies constantly." Instantly people start wondering, and any defence the man uses to counter is pondered, was it a lie?
One of the people working to retrain me told my boss that I "have a lot of excuses" Now what? If I explain to my boss anything then I am fighting that connundrum. Is it a reason or an excuse? Is it a genuine problem the company needs to fix or is it just me trying to play victim?
right folks, you know what? I am just gonna eat this. I am too tired to even think of arguing with the company, I liked my job, despite the problems, and I really don't want to argue it. They can sack me, that is fine, because I know. I know, and if the company is not willing to see the problems I had were real, well then they are going to have it happen again. As a HR person I feel bad about that. As a disgruntled ex employee? well I am too disheartened to care.
I wonder, do I want a career or just a pay cheque?
I also want to thank some friends...Terri, you stood by and really helped me today and pulled me back when I was really low, Arkady you gave me a great deal of support and made me feel stronger after hearing such disheartening news, and oddly to a new friend, Taier (hehe) who though he only just met me, and not even really me (ha) was a sweet enough person to be good to me and make sure I was ok.
and of course my Perrin, who has been very sweet, in his own distincly illogical and yet oh so male way.