a brief update of my life
a couple of weeks ago i got drunk and thought i was jack bauer. only thing weirder is it's the second time that's happened. i've been missing lizzie a lot lately, realized i don't even know what she looks like right now. kevin stuff has been really getting me down lately, apparently it's time for phase seventeen of infinity with that whole thing. i decided to stop going to counseling here, it's a waste of time and way too personally infiltrating with their bureaucracy so i'm done: i went, i talked, i'm leaving. finally got that check for the wedding that i took pictures at in early october, it's about fucking time. working on the beginning stages of selling the picture i took that has god's face in the clouds, hoping to make a few thousand with it but unsure how to figure out who it's worth more to and how to self-publicize. haven't worked with a model in a really long time, waiting on some goddamn snow, however did some amazing stuff this past week with ice and motion. got a magazine a while back with some advertisement for mail order brides, decided to have them send me a free dvd. missing super mario bros. and goldeneye/perfect dark. i'm still having suicidal thoughts sometimes, but they're mostly an annoying daydream that i just get irritated at and get over it. been doing a lot of thinking about my depression though and i don't know if i'll ever try to have kids, as i've seen what passing it on has done to my dad and myself. sort of stunning news, really, as i was eagerly looking forward to that day when i would be a daddy. now is the first time in years that i wish i had some brothers/sisters, so i could just look after their kids (although i suppose they'd probably be going through the same thing most likely). i've been wearing the same clothes for close to three weeks now, save boxers and socks, and sleeping for anywhere between four and fourteen hours a day, though hardly ever truly sleeping. my online winterim class is a total bitch of wasted time and money and i wish i'd spent the whole month travelling and focusing on my photography and my book. oh, by the way i'm in the beginnings of writing a book. it'll probably take about a year or so i imagine, but exciting nonetheless. saw notting hill finally, sorry to say it changed my life. don't know why, sometimes i just hate it when that happens. about to take a shower for the first time in over a week. decided to make a detailed will explicitly demanding there be no priest or crosses at my wake, and no funeral, but a party instead. somehow became nocturnal for the past three weeks, and can no longer go to sleep before the sun comes up. new car is kickass, wish changing the oil filter didn't require a "special tool". really excited that i get to live with peter this upcoming semester, but really bummed that means shelby won't be in the same apartment anymore. i'm gonna miss that kid like crazy.
that's all for now
that's all for now