mp

[effer_emma]

i am emilees last secret space.
i am in a relationship i do not want to be in.
i feel like i am settling because i am so afraid to be alone.
i was alone.
i got an amazing boyfriend.
and then i got dumped.
and i was alone again.
so i got a dog.
and i was still lonley so i pretended something existed.
when it really didnt.
i am faking a relationship.
i am faking love.
with someone i care a lot for.
but just not in that way.
i am a terrible person.
i am putting false dreams in his head.
but i feel like i cant back out now.
because i will crush him.
i dont want to hurt him.
the truth is i fell in love.
back in october.
i fell in love when i saw his eyes.
gorgeous ice blue.
like his heart.
the attraction to me was there.
so he persued.
little did i know i was temporary.
he had a girlfriend.
that he hated and compained about.
to me.
but he wouldnt leave her.
for fear she would kill herself.
yes, that kind of relationship.
but he still craved me.
the first time we were together i savored it.
every little detail.
i had this gut feeling our time together was limited.
but i kept going.
kept falling harder and faster.
and then he stopped.
all of a sudden.
here one day gone the next.
his ice blue heart.
the last time i was with him i remember.
i cried in the dark.
i knew it would all be over too fast.
like a child opening presents on christmas day.
i loved him.
i still do.
he is the one that taunts me.
i look at that ice blue heart and want it and crave it.
even though its no good to me.
he is the most adorable mess ive ever met.
for a moment.
just a moment.
he mended my fragile yet beautiful heart.
that will forver remain on my stained and fraying sleeve.