(no subject)
So, I haven't really put anything of substance into this journal in quite some time. It's only been a record of the things I've done, or the places I've gone. This puts an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I feel detached. Detached from everything. For a while now, nothing's mattered.
I've realized that nothing will ever matter. Nobody cares if you change the world. Everyone will always be too absorbed into their addictions to notice anything. Hell, it's what passes their days. Everyone's only just waiting for their turn to speak. They'll never hear what you have to say. They won't listen while you whimper out your cure for cancer. They won't listen while you explain that their dramas won't mean anything next week. Sex isn't personal. Drugs either assist, or impair the imagination. That's all. Close your eyes, and open them to oblivion.
::edit::
i don't understand much how people can lose interest in me so easily. i like to believe that i am an interesting person, and i don't change from when they start talking to me until they decide to completely stop. this isn't just a slowly-they-talk-to-me-less-and-less kind of thing either. it is a complete talk-to-me-everyday-to-don't-at-all. maybe it is because they have lives, and know how to move on, and i don't. maybe.
I've realized that nothing will ever matter. Nobody cares if you change the world. Everyone will always be too absorbed into their addictions to notice anything. Hell, it's what passes their days. Everyone's only just waiting for their turn to speak. They'll never hear what you have to say. They won't listen while you whimper out your cure for cancer. They won't listen while you explain that their dramas won't mean anything next week. Sex isn't personal. Drugs either assist, or impair the imagination. That's all. Close your eyes, and open them to oblivion.
::edit::
i don't understand much how people can lose interest in me so easily. i like to believe that i am an interesting person, and i don't change from when they start talking to me until they decide to completely stop. this isn't just a slowly-they-talk-to-me-less-and-less kind of thing either. it is a complete talk-to-me-everyday-to-don't-at-all. maybe it is because they have lives, and know how to move on, and i don't. maybe.