(no subject)
I have so many things to do, but all of these awful things just keep rushing into my head. Please be PMS.
I hurt him so much, I need for him to know how deeply sorry I am. Every day that I live with him is a day that I cherish I get to see and experience, despite the possible tears and tones. He is the only man that I ever want to be with, and that I wish I was ever with. God, he's my love, the love of my life, and I just don't know how to make things right. They're right, he'll tell me they are, but I still feel so fucking awful to this day- making me believe that I'll never feel better.
I've gained so much weight in the past few days, and while he'll never admit it (or say that he likes it), I know it's true. The worst part is that I'll get tiny spurs of "YES WORKOUT LOOK LIKE HER ON TV" and then it's gone faster than it came and I'm back to feeling sorry for myself.
I'm too afraid to go through with getting an ND. Too afraid of failure.
The only thing keeping me going is the thought of him holding me while I hold myself and cry (every three seconds), but as the days go on, I wonder if that day will ever come.. the day that when I break down, no matter what time or why, he's there ready and willing.
Push it out. Study. Or else it'll just be another thing to add to your already incomplete list.
-Incomplete because that's really all that matters... him.
I hurt him so much, I need for him to know how deeply sorry I am. Every day that I live with him is a day that I cherish I get to see and experience, despite the possible tears and tones. He is the only man that I ever want to be with, and that I wish I was ever with. God, he's my love, the love of my life, and I just don't know how to make things right. They're right, he'll tell me they are, but I still feel so fucking awful to this day- making me believe that I'll never feel better.
I've gained so much weight in the past few days, and while he'll never admit it (or say that he likes it), I know it's true. The worst part is that I'll get tiny spurs of "YES WORKOUT LOOK LIKE HER ON TV" and then it's gone faster than it came and I'm back to feeling sorry for myself.
I'm too afraid to go through with getting an ND. Too afraid of failure.
The only thing keeping me going is the thought of him holding me while I hold myself and cry (every three seconds), but as the days go on, I wonder if that day will ever come.. the day that when I break down, no matter what time or why, he's there ready and willing.
Push it out. Study. Or else it'll just be another thing to add to your already incomplete list.
-Incomplete because that's really all that matters... him.