live or die?
saturday i was babysitting and all of a sudden my heart started to get faster and faster..i could see straight, it became hard to breathe..some part of me thought i was getting sick, another part thought i was having an anxiety attack,then a small part of me thought is this a heart attack?..the more i tried to calm down the faster my heart was beating..i was soooo scared. maybe this is a sign that i have a bad heart, maybe its saying that im not suppost to be here. maybe im suppost to be dead. i mean minus well since no one likes me. i dont think ill ever have a boyfriend. im beginning to realize that im not pretty at all. i mean the more i try to be like everyone else..the more everyone hates me..yet the more i try to be my self the more pple think im a geek....idk nemore i mean i no the easy way out is through siucide but i wont do that..but somehow i feel like that may be the ticket out. i dont want to die..but since half the grade thinks i should be dead and those who dont think i should be think im a geek anyway. my mom says that high school can be the best or the worst time in ur life it can never be in the middle and so far its been the worst. anyone up for some advice?..what should i do? leave this world? or stay and just waste time?