Old
Your alarm is set to go off at 7:00 but wake up at 6:45 because nature calls. It’s pointless to try to grab those last few minutes of slumber, so you get up.
After using the restroom, wash your hands and look into the mirror at the face staring back at you. Notice the gray hairs that cover most of your goatee and wonder to yourself if the decision to stop dying it was a wise one.
“Hmmmm . . . maybe not such a harsh color next time if I DO dye it again,” you think to yourself, although dying it again would possibly admit defeat to the many who have complimented it. Never in your life has the word “DISTINGUISHED” been used so often. You don’t feel distinguished as you walk back to the bedroom, your Depeche Mode’s Music for the Masses tee-shirt sticking to your frame and your boxers twisted irregularly, the signs of last night’s tossing and turning. While in slumber, sometimes the body turns but the bedclothes are slow to follow.
You do your daily routine and when you get into the car, turn on the radio. They are having “Flashback” day and all of the bands you love and listen to on a regular basis are being played. As you find parking you wonder to yourself how old does the song have to be for it to be considered “Flashback”
Work your normal schedule. When you are finished, drive to the grocery store. While in the car, get cut off by a girl who looks young enough to be younger than you. Watch as she sticks her middle finger out the window of her Honda in response to your abrupt honk. Imagine what she would look like with her tits hole-punched and strung up on a flagpole, kicking the air in agony while a game of kick-ball continues uninterrupted, 25 feet below.
Walk into the grocery store and feel the air on your face. Take a small hand-carried basket because you don’t want to get that much . . . just the basics. Walk through each aisle carefully and after the third aisle, realize that your funky butt should have gotten a cart so you walk back up to the front to get one.
Run into someone you went to High School with. Try not to get annoyed at her 12 year old son for reminding you how old you are getting by merely existing. Notice the look in her face as she tells you she is doing well. Her eyes tell a different story.
Finish getting your things and go to the checkout counter. Don’t get carded as you buy a bottle of citrus flavored vodka.
Go home. Go home and turn on the television set. Turn on MTV. Remember what it was like to be a part of the MTV generation and how everyone that was famous was older than you.
Feel old. Feel very old.
Get a call from your mother, scolding you for not making the time to go see your ailing grandmother. Get off the phone and walk over to her house.
See her there in bed and listen to her tell you how tired she has been lately. Get her a glass of water and talk to her about events of late as she breathes in the fresh oxygen being pumped into her by a tank She lays there, intently listening, paperback comfort at her side. Before you leave, ask her if she needs anything. She says a Milky Way. Make a mental note to bring her one.
As you walk home, feel stupid for feeling old.
Get online and talk to someone from East Podunk who doesn't know the difference between "two", "too", and "to" as well as "they're", "there", and "their".
Realize you aren't stupid either.
After using the restroom, wash your hands and look into the mirror at the face staring back at you. Notice the gray hairs that cover most of your goatee and wonder to yourself if the decision to stop dying it was a wise one.
“Hmmmm . . . maybe not such a harsh color next time if I DO dye it again,” you think to yourself, although dying it again would possibly admit defeat to the many who have complimented it. Never in your life has the word “DISTINGUISHED” been used so often. You don’t feel distinguished as you walk back to the bedroom, your Depeche Mode’s Music for the Masses tee-shirt sticking to your frame and your boxers twisted irregularly, the signs of last night’s tossing and turning. While in slumber, sometimes the body turns but the bedclothes are slow to follow.
You do your daily routine and when you get into the car, turn on the radio. They are having “Flashback” day and all of the bands you love and listen to on a regular basis are being played. As you find parking you wonder to yourself how old does the song have to be for it to be considered “Flashback”
Work your normal schedule. When you are finished, drive to the grocery store. While in the car, get cut off by a girl who looks young enough to be younger than you. Watch as she sticks her middle finger out the window of her Honda in response to your abrupt honk. Imagine what she would look like with her tits hole-punched and strung up on a flagpole, kicking the air in agony while a game of kick-ball continues uninterrupted, 25 feet below.
Walk into the grocery store and feel the air on your face. Take a small hand-carried basket because you don’t want to get that much . . . just the basics. Walk through each aisle carefully and after the third aisle, realize that your funky butt should have gotten a cart so you walk back up to the front to get one.
Run into someone you went to High School with. Try not to get annoyed at her 12 year old son for reminding you how old you are getting by merely existing. Notice the look in her face as she tells you she is doing well. Her eyes tell a different story.
Finish getting your things and go to the checkout counter. Don’t get carded as you buy a bottle of citrus flavored vodka.
Go home. Go home and turn on the television set. Turn on MTV. Remember what it was like to be a part of the MTV generation and how everyone that was famous was older than you.
Feel old. Feel very old.
Get a call from your mother, scolding you for not making the time to go see your ailing grandmother. Get off the phone and walk over to her house.
See her there in bed and listen to her tell you how tired she has been lately. Get her a glass of water and talk to her about events of late as she breathes in the fresh oxygen being pumped into her by a tank She lays there, intently listening, paperback comfort at her side. Before you leave, ask her if she needs anything. She says a Milky Way. Make a mental note to bring her one.
As you walk home, feel stupid for feeling old.
Get online and talk to someone from East Podunk who doesn't know the difference between "two", "too", and "to" as well as "they're", "there", and "their".
Realize you aren't stupid either.