What a sad day!
So I went to Turkish school today and everything went well. When I came home that was when everything changed. My dad made me mad because all he does is sit and watch Turkish TV and doesn't pay any attention to his children. Like I know my dad loves us and everything but I want to know what is so great about Turkish TV? I got upset when we were eating dinner because of the way everyone was at the table. My mom was like, "Emine you shouldn't be so mad at me." And I told her I am not mad at her and told her to be quiet and just eat and then my sister was like to my dad that he should be more like a father figure to us. I try to make people happy...but nothing works. I just try too damn hard and I think I should just stop being to caring since I get hurt in the process. Even with my friends...I try but...they don't want my help....well only one of my friends. I really don't know anymore. I just want...I want to be happy. Tony *my neighbor*, he says I am the most happy person in the world. He says, "Em is the happiest person I know. I always see her laugh or smile." He just doens't know what I feel on the inside. I am drained emotionally.
Another thing that is reallt eating me on the inside is this war in the Middle East. I was watching Channel 103 *Turkish TV* adn I saw this little boy with his head covered in bandages screaming his heart out. I thought ONLY about the children. I felt the pain they were feeling. I don't want anyone to feel that pain EVER! I never saw a child scream so much in my life. i tol my dad to change it becaue the tears were coming and I knew I won't be able to make them stop. I felt since he didn't change it. before I saw the child, I saw a lady crying because she lost a loved one in the bombings. I think I feel their pain since I am muslim and jsut seeing them cry just is a heart-breaking thing to see. They all had lives like us. Kids went to school just like us! Some people are left with no one and then some people are lucky and have someone still left to help them get threw this shitty thing. A protest will not end this. Ntohing will end this. People just don't like to say it but..This is a fucking Holy War and it will never end. I also don't want a race of people to die since Bush is Hitler today. I have no idea what will happem n and I really don't want to know the out come. My mom is frustrated with America and she wants to move. This may be my last year in America so I'll graduate but then...I'm not so sure what is going to happen. I am not sure but I wish I was seriously apart of the UN so I can put some people on the court for genocide. Btu then some countries will be some what offended. I DON'T KNOW! I am just so angry with what the world has turned out to be like and I think THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT!
Another thing that is reallt eating me on the inside is this war in the Middle East. I was watching Channel 103 *Turkish TV* adn I saw this little boy with his head covered in bandages screaming his heart out. I thought ONLY about the children. I felt the pain they were feeling. I don't want anyone to feel that pain EVER! I never saw a child scream so much in my life. i tol my dad to change it becaue the tears were coming and I knew I won't be able to make them stop. I felt since he didn't change it. before I saw the child, I saw a lady crying because she lost a loved one in the bombings. I think I feel their pain since I am muslim and jsut seeing them cry just is a heart-breaking thing to see. They all had lives like us. Kids went to school just like us! Some people are left with no one and then some people are lucky and have someone still left to help them get threw this shitty thing. A protest will not end this. Ntohing will end this. People just don't like to say it but..This is a fucking Holy War and it will never end. I also don't want a race of people to die since Bush is Hitler today. I have no idea what will happem n and I really don't want to know the out come. My mom is frustrated with America and she wants to move. This may be my last year in America so I'll graduate but then...I'm not so sure what is going to happen. I am not sure but I wish I was seriously apart of the UN so I can put some people on the court for genocide. Btu then some countries will be some what offended. I DON'T KNOW! I am just so angry with what the world has turned out to be like and I think THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT!