(no subject)
*yawn* Damn, awful early for that.
But I don't blame myself for exhaustion. I feel like a piece of silly putty that's been stretched in all directions and is slowly inching back towards a nice round shape.
I'm excited that my brother and his family are coming tomorrow. I will spend a large amount of the rest of this week in Boston. Day trips, I think, although I may wish to curl up on someone's floor if it's available for me. *weary wave to the Bostonites* Anybody wanna take me in? Like I said, I expect to not need it. There are reasons that tomorrow and perhaps Thursday must be day trips.
I'm a mixture of happy and excited, walking through recent memories. This weekend was really incredible. Howling + pretending I can turn into a wolf + stunning an audience into delighted applause with a song + kicking kitty ass + making new friends and enemies (noone hates me out of game, yet) + getting to run around in some actual woods = a happy Wolf, a happy me.
But when I wasn't reliving vivid moments or thinking ahead to what I must do between games . . . anxiety. Fear. Creeping trickles of panic that I let the revived Wolf snarl and snap at until they retreated.
There's something really wrong with grandma. Stuff about spinal fluid and inflamations and cortizone that goes way over my head. I promised her we would get out of that hospital, and go to the beach.
I'm not positive that we can. I don't know if she'll leave this hospital. Or at least, with her body and spirit still residing in the same spot.
*heavy sigh*
Movie. Bed. Interview tomorrow with Boston-based Graphic Design Temp Agency. Read more Milne, maybe some Carroll, definitely some more Secret Garden to my warrior-hearted, high-spirited grandmother. It was good, very very good, to escape thinking about the bad things for a weekend. There'll be another weekend like that in about a month.
But I don't blame myself for exhaustion. I feel like a piece of silly putty that's been stretched in all directions and is slowly inching back towards a nice round shape.
I'm excited that my brother and his family are coming tomorrow. I will spend a large amount of the rest of this week in Boston. Day trips, I think, although I may wish to curl up on someone's floor if it's available for me. *weary wave to the Bostonites* Anybody wanna take me in? Like I said, I expect to not need it. There are reasons that tomorrow and perhaps Thursday must be day trips.
I'm a mixture of happy and excited, walking through recent memories. This weekend was really incredible. Howling + pretending I can turn into a wolf + stunning an audience into delighted applause with a song + kicking kitty ass + making new friends and enemies (noone hates me out of game, yet) + getting to run around in some actual woods = a happy Wolf, a happy me.
But when I wasn't reliving vivid moments or thinking ahead to what I must do between games . . . anxiety. Fear. Creeping trickles of panic that I let the revived Wolf snarl and snap at until they retreated.
There's something really wrong with grandma. Stuff about spinal fluid and inflamations and cortizone that goes way over my head. I promised her we would get out of that hospital, and go to the beach.
I'm not positive that we can. I don't know if she'll leave this hospital. Or at least, with her body and spirit still residing in the same spot.
*heavy sigh*
Movie. Bed. Interview tomorrow with Boston-based Graphic Design Temp Agency. Read more Milne, maybe some Carroll, definitely some more Secret Garden to my warrior-hearted, high-spirited grandmother. It was good, very very good, to escape thinking about the bad things for a weekend. There'll be another weekend like that in about a month.