Purple Kangaroo: Homecoming
Nights like this, it’s so fucking clear. I wanna go home. Home is Providence. Coyote will be stupid-easy to avoid, he shuffles between his cute indie bookstore (which I can visit on weekends in not-Christmas season and won’t run into him) and a grocery store and home, and he won’t even tell me what neighborhood he lives in now.
Gods, do I still scare him that badly? Maybe Bob is right, and it’s time to just fucking divorce him. But whatever, the likelihood of bumping into Coyote at a goth night or random bar or dungeon is zero.
I miss heavy sarcasm and drastic seasons, even though I now know I get sick so much more often in RI because I let myself get too cold. Even a slight chill can give you one fucker of a chest cold, such as I am having right now.
Home requires a pile of money, like $50K if I wanna do it right, $20K at the least. But if I could manage $100K, damn, that’s a down payment on a house in Providence proper! Sorry Amanda, the free museum/zoo days are worth the higher property taxes in my eyes.
So how do I get a pile of money? Or even an income-stream of like, $500/month? What’s my hustle? Do I read tarot cards in Oakland parks? I feel weird about asking money as a white person in Oakland. Well then, the obvious quick solution is pro Domme work, but that carries big risks until I’m well-embedded in the scene.
I want a JCC & RISD library membership. Maybe Atheneum too. Yes, I can still see versions of California-me that’s tanned (or goth-pale) and super happy. But so many of my dreams are still Providence dreams. What would it be like to own a car and a Sugarbush season pass?
I hope I date an Asian (fem?)boy and/or a femme of some sort before I leave here.
But another thing I could do, like, in 3 days, is shoot and upload a damn video! Who cares that nobody will watch the first few? I’ve long been comfortable pointing a camera at myself, why am I intimidated by video? No reason whatsoever.
Anyway, moments of clarity have been few and far between the last few months. But I like knowing where I want to go, even if I have no idea how to get there. But keep going. I’ll finish a comic script some year, and then some year after that, it’ll be up on the White Wolf self-publishing thing.