And Yet . . .
So yeah, my biggest dismay about my trip happened last entry, the day after I bought my ticket. I’ve been stressed about it since then, particularly since I’ve only managed to contact two old friends for couch-crashing and received one warm and one quite cool response. More cool responses are coming, I’m sure, and I’m rapid cycling from the stress.
Rapid cycling is what actual diagnosed bipolar people call the cycle I’ve described here before, though thank fuck it’s sort of a 4-day cycle now. I’m on night 3, a good place to be as I’m feeling good and won’t be sleeping until sometime tomorrow night, most likely. It’s good timing, I’ll be loopy but very outgoing while at my friend’s birthday party, and sleep the 12-hour (or more) sleep of the just after they drop me off. Well, after I watch an episode of ER with my parents like I said I would.
So while I’m feeling good, let’s make a list of the people I have yet to talk to about logistics for my first trip home. I bet just seeing the length of it will help me when I’m on the other side of the cycle, feeling small and alone and scared nobody in Home State aaaaactually likes me and I should just be sick and cancel my trip last-minute.
Sigh. Stupid brainweasels are stupid.
- Michele (probably has spare blanket + pillow for Beltane, may have Beltane transport ideas, unlikely to have space to put me up with her current houseful of foster and non-foster children)
- Greg (may have Beltane bedding, possible ride?)
- Mikal - couch, can offer puppy walking!
- Marc & Joe - couch (probably not, but worth asking. Ask about hanging on a weekend day/evening even if their no is firm.)
- Carol Stevenson - couch (worth asking, really!)
- Pat & Jack - If they don’t have a couch they may know church friends with like, full guesthouses that stay empty most of the time!
- Naomi Wixon - duhhhhh! She’d love to see me, I bet, and is a good person to help with logistical nightmares.
- Benn & Jeff - I know that might be way more Boston time than I wanted, but fuckit.
- Kelly - check with her party schedule! I’m probably welcome at one of her many regular sleepovers. I could maybe catch a ride with Lavender or other Providence-adjacent folks.
- Robin and bald doctor jerk - yeah, I know, but they do have a spare room with easy access to Thayer Street. I can put up with the jerk if it saves me airbnb cash.
- Heather - couch unlikely, but make it clear she’s a priority to spend some time with, because she is. Make her a leathercraft something.
- Mikey & Mark - Along with Baconator, they may be willing to come up to New Haven and/or Providence to hang out with me for a day.
- Baconator - Keep talking to him, logistics will take awhile because we constantly wander off-topic. Looking forward to meeting him!
- Sarita - if I somehow get to Long Island/NYC, prioritize time with her.
- Coyote - need to keep pestering him, maybe call him at work to nail down a weekend lunch or whatever.
- Diane & Ben J - I am pretty sure they’ll not host me, but I want to spend time with them and their awesome daughter. Zoo, maybe? I really want to go to the zoo.
- Meesa - speaking of seeing kids . . . yeah. Unlikely to host, (and I dunno if I can even get to her part of MA by public transit) but could probably be lured to Providence-area kid things. There’s a children’s museum I haven’t visited in forever, too.
- If I have actual cash with me, there’s things I’d like to buy from Ant, Shayna, and Nick. Ant will deliver to Providence if I order $200 or more, he said. I think I could buy a variety of dried mushrooms and get it through.
- Tiger - maybe no on couch crashing, but maybe yes for a ride to CT if I give him gas money? Also I want to catch up with him, totally fine if bf wants to join.
- Sarah P wold surprise me a lot if she said no to hosting me for one night! But one night might be more than enough, and I don’t know how expensive the train to get near-ish her place is.
- Drew or Jenni might well put me up, Drew might make me uncomfortable, though. I don’t know if Jenni would want me around when she has her kids.
- Tanya? I’m finding myself more willing to ask kinksters than vanillas I’m less close to, interesting. She’s . . . farther out in MA than I’d prefer. Fall River, I think.
- People to contact if I do manage an airbnb or a trip to the dungeon: my beloved comet. I feel like getting together with him will always be a delightful experience. I have to check on the price of renewing my membership, plus the current Fetish Night entry fee. Might well be over $100.
- Might as well now list things I need to get done on my visit, besides Beltane. Open a new Santander account that links to the shared Savings account.
- Go to the storage facility to rescue as many of my kinky/sex toys as I can manage. If I’m willing to pore through boxes for an hour or two, get the A.A. Milne books. I can read them aloud to myself when I’m down. Maybe my toga dress? If the rope is there, nab that. I don’t think it is. Tempted to rescue ponies/dolls, I miss them a lot. But shipping is pricey.
- Ship the kinky/sex toys back to Berkeley? I guess the canes and carriage whip and Spankaliber can’t be freed at this time.
- Walk the Boulevard at least once.
- Linger around Thayer Street. Chill in Prospect Park and sketch/photograph the city. Tempted to bring my real camera, but I so rarely want to shlep it around.
- Say hi to Downcity, Federal Hill. Do some pokéhunting. Trade with Vito! But not for my Carneval, I only have encountered the one and I love it.
- Kinda want to get bacon cheese fries if I manage to go to the zoo. It’d be nice to see my old house, too. Mom would like a picture, and maybe sneak one of the backyard in case the Japanese Maple is still there.
That much written, I’m glad I gave myself 3 weeks! But the separation from Ramsay and home comforts will be hard. 3 weeks of only being naked in showers, weird. And I cringe to think of how much I’ll spend even without needing to pay for shelter. Even if it’s mostly groceries. Meh. Can’t change the flights, and in this moment I don’t want to.