(no subject)
I literally just found out about NaBloPoMo, NaNoWriMo's sensible little sister. National Blog Posting Month. I don't think it's fair to join 11 days in, but there's so much stuff in my head, I just might. I want to do justice to lengthy stories that deserve to be told, like the next installment of Tiger and I's love affair. (Affair? I don't know. Still seems too early to imply srs bznzz.)
But there's so much that keeps happening and I know some of it just needs to be fast-tracked. Write it, process some of it while I write, have that much more room in my brain for whatever's coming tomorrow. Like the Elton John debacle. What the fuck was that all about? I have no idea, still, two days later.
Oops, well. I guess it's a good thing I'm not an official member of NaBloPoMo this year. I wrote those two paragraphs yesterday morning and then promptly went off on adventures with Tiger, came home and got a huge headache which is still lingering behind my eyeball. I think I'm dehydrated, trying to fix it now.
Yesterday was Veteran's Day, my very first Veteran's Day while dating an actual Iraq vet. I wasn't sure what to expect, but all I hoped was that he'd tell me one story. He's been so tight-lipped on his experiences there, and I do want to hear them. But also, there's a long, long list of chain restaurants that will give vets free food all day. I know it's terribly stereotypical Jew of me, but the idea of going to a fancy restaurant and him only having to pay for my food! Oy, such a deal! Very exciting.
So I put on a comfy long black dress and my blue rabbit fur poncho, did my hair and a bit of makeup just so. Even after all this time, he's been having so much fun cooking for me that this was the first time he'd taken me out for a proper meal! It counts as our second date, 'cause he did take me dancing at a goth night about two weeks ago. He came over and decided he couldn't put up with all the awkward of having a waitress (or other strangers) thank him for his service. I can understand, it's possible I did my wedding in the sneaky secret way for similar reasons. Hey, no worries, it's his day. But his old tradition was to go to a bar and have a drink for one dead friend, and I suggested we start a new tradition.
So we went to the movies! Yay!
I'm a huge movie buff who, once upon a time, would go to the movies just about every weekend. Now I see 3-5 movies a year, a very painful dearth for me. Luckily Netflix helps, there's an awful lot of movies I can shrug and say, "Meh, I'll wait for Netflix". In fact, I had thought the same of Ender's Game, even though I know there would be some amazing battle sequences that'd be so much better on the big screen. But I was wrestling with the idea of bringing fame with my ticket purchase to a homophobic asshole, as many of my friends are. Somebody else's dollar, though, that puts my conscience perfectly at ease. :)
I'm so not surprised he loved it, it's a sci-fi movie with heavy milatiristic themes, but the themes and the plot are closer to typical sci-fi than typical military movie. Come to think of it, that kind of makes it the perfect middle ground between his and I's mindsets. *chuckles* There's just one moment of foreshadowing of the fabulous mindfuck, and luckily my dark chuckle was not enough to alert him. It's a good movie. It's a good book, too. Worth a look/read, even if you're not much into sci-fi.
42itous and her brother gave me my current copy of the book, come to think about it. I guess that's the reason my last dream of the morning involved her. I was visiting her and her daughter, who was now walking and talking a little and starting to be toilet-trained. I'm a bit sad at that thought, but it is quite possible that I won't see the two of them for a good year or more. We only live one city apart, but our lives are so entangled in other people now. And I don't have the space to do boardgame parties like I used to. Oh well, someday that'll change. :)
Anyway, I really had a fabulous date with Tiger, he scored himself DVDs of The Pacific which he'd been searching for ever since it came out. He said it was "only fair" to get me a little present too, so for half the cost of his DVDs, I scored big at the Hot Topic clearance section. I now have my first bikini bottom, and it has Rainicorn winding around my butt!!!! (Mission for next Spring/Summer: find an appropriate bikini or tankini top, have an actual feminine swimming costume for the first time in like a decade.) Also, I got a very cute gothy crop top to wear the next time we go goth clubbing. It shows more of my belly than I have in years, but I know that I am hardly the only big girl at the goth clubs. It's high time I show the pride in my body that many of them have. Besides, my belly ring oughtta be seen by more than just lovers!
I did get a single story out of him. Just one, early in the day. But it was the first version of his absolutely worst story, he told me about his friend's death, and how close it was to his death, too. I stopped and hugged him for a long, long time, thanking him for being so brave. But after that story, we more or less pretended it was any other day of the year and just had fun, two young lovers drifting around a mall. At some point, I commented that this must've been what it was like to have a relationship in high school. And really, our whole relationship is like that. We've gotten to third base, but we spend so much more time circling first base, yummy kisses and soft little touches. Like the Puppy he is, he loves getting petted. Though less rough belly rubs and more my fingertips very slowly ghosting over his arms, face, and oh the shudders when I touch his neck!
He's such a natural submissive. I know that's a phrase that gets used by the dickbag abusive Dominants, but it's really true with him. He's only had one orgasm to my eight, but kind of shrugged off my attempts to give him a second. But any touch to his neck, any whisper of "Mine" in his ear, and he's a puddle of melted bliss.
It's going to take a little adjusting. This is so different. This is a part of my sexuality that's only been theoretical, all this time. It's loving the chance to stretch and yawn and flap its silky bat-wings. I keep being shocked at how fulfilling it is. At the same time, it's not inherently better than the sex life I have with Coyote or with Rude. All three are so different and so, so good.
If I ever had any doubts that I was a Switch at my core, they quickly left me many weeks ago. After a day of being served and giving my Tiger so much delicious pain, I immediately lay over my Daddy's lap and beg him to spank me. It just feels so right, to hang up my metaphorical crop and clip on my leash, putting the loop around Rude's wrist where it belongs. And perhaps there are some people who only want to be kinky, in bed? But I'm not one of those, either. Give me my perfectly equal, perfectly balanced time rolling around a bed with Coyote. Oh Gods, they're all so delicious, they're all so good for me.
I'm a very happy girl these days, truly.
But there's so much that keeps happening and I know some of it just needs to be fast-tracked. Write it, process some of it while I write, have that much more room in my brain for whatever's coming tomorrow. Like the Elton John debacle. What the fuck was that all about? I have no idea, still, two days later.
Oops, well. I guess it's a good thing I'm not an official member of NaBloPoMo this year. I wrote those two paragraphs yesterday morning and then promptly went off on adventures with Tiger, came home and got a huge headache which is still lingering behind my eyeball. I think I'm dehydrated, trying to fix it now.
Yesterday was Veteran's Day, my very first Veteran's Day while dating an actual Iraq vet. I wasn't sure what to expect, but all I hoped was that he'd tell me one story. He's been so tight-lipped on his experiences there, and I do want to hear them. But also, there's a long, long list of chain restaurants that will give vets free food all day. I know it's terribly stereotypical Jew of me, but the idea of going to a fancy restaurant and him only having to pay for my food! Oy, such a deal! Very exciting.
So I put on a comfy long black dress and my blue rabbit fur poncho, did my hair and a bit of makeup just so. Even after all this time, he's been having so much fun cooking for me that this was the first time he'd taken me out for a proper meal! It counts as our second date, 'cause he did take me dancing at a goth night about two weeks ago. He came over and decided he couldn't put up with all the awkward of having a waitress (or other strangers) thank him for his service. I can understand, it's possible I did my wedding in the sneaky secret way for similar reasons. Hey, no worries, it's his day. But his old tradition was to go to a bar and have a drink for one dead friend, and I suggested we start a new tradition.
So we went to the movies! Yay!
I'm a huge movie buff who, once upon a time, would go to the movies just about every weekend. Now I see 3-5 movies a year, a very painful dearth for me. Luckily Netflix helps, there's an awful lot of movies I can shrug and say, "Meh, I'll wait for Netflix". In fact, I had thought the same of Ender's Game, even though I know there would be some amazing battle sequences that'd be so much better on the big screen. But I was wrestling with the idea of bringing fame with my ticket purchase to a homophobic asshole, as many of my friends are. Somebody else's dollar, though, that puts my conscience perfectly at ease. :)
I'm so not surprised he loved it, it's a sci-fi movie with heavy milatiristic themes, but the themes and the plot are closer to typical sci-fi than typical military movie. Come to think of it, that kind of makes it the perfect middle ground between his and I's mindsets. *chuckles* There's just one moment of foreshadowing of the fabulous mindfuck, and luckily my dark chuckle was not enough to alert him. It's a good movie. It's a good book, too. Worth a look/read, even if you're not much into sci-fi.
42itous and her brother gave me my current copy of the book, come to think about it. I guess that's the reason my last dream of the morning involved her. I was visiting her and her daughter, who was now walking and talking a little and starting to be toilet-trained. I'm a bit sad at that thought, but it is quite possible that I won't see the two of them for a good year or more. We only live one city apart, but our lives are so entangled in other people now. And I don't have the space to do boardgame parties like I used to. Oh well, someday that'll change. :)
Anyway, I really had a fabulous date with Tiger, he scored himself DVDs of The Pacific which he'd been searching for ever since it came out. He said it was "only fair" to get me a little present too, so for half the cost of his DVDs, I scored big at the Hot Topic clearance section. I now have my first bikini bottom, and it has Rainicorn winding around my butt!!!! (Mission for next Spring/Summer: find an appropriate bikini or tankini top, have an actual feminine swimming costume for the first time in like a decade.) Also, I got a very cute gothy crop top to wear the next time we go goth clubbing. It shows more of my belly than I have in years, but I know that I am hardly the only big girl at the goth clubs. It's high time I show the pride in my body that many of them have. Besides, my belly ring oughtta be seen by more than just lovers!
I did get a single story out of him. Just one, early in the day. But it was the first version of his absolutely worst story, he told me about his friend's death, and how close it was to his death, too. I stopped and hugged him for a long, long time, thanking him for being so brave. But after that story, we more or less pretended it was any other day of the year and just had fun, two young lovers drifting around a mall. At some point, I commented that this must've been what it was like to have a relationship in high school. And really, our whole relationship is like that. We've gotten to third base, but we spend so much more time circling first base, yummy kisses and soft little touches. Like the Puppy he is, he loves getting petted. Though less rough belly rubs and more my fingertips very slowly ghosting over his arms, face, and oh the shudders when I touch his neck!
He's such a natural submissive. I know that's a phrase that gets used by the dickbag abusive Dominants, but it's really true with him. He's only had one orgasm to my eight, but kind of shrugged off my attempts to give him a second. But any touch to his neck, any whisper of "Mine" in his ear, and he's a puddle of melted bliss.
It's going to take a little adjusting. This is so different. This is a part of my sexuality that's only been theoretical, all this time. It's loving the chance to stretch and yawn and flap its silky bat-wings. I keep being shocked at how fulfilling it is. At the same time, it's not inherently better than the sex life I have with Coyote or with Rude. All three are so different and so, so good.
If I ever had any doubts that I was a Switch at my core, they quickly left me many weeks ago. After a day of being served and giving my Tiger so much delicious pain, I immediately lay over my Daddy's lap and beg him to spank me. It just feels so right, to hang up my metaphorical crop and clip on my leash, putting the loop around Rude's wrist where it belongs. And perhaps there are some people who only want to be kinky, in bed? But I'm not one of those, either. Give me my perfectly equal, perfectly balanced time rolling around a bed with Coyote. Oh Gods, they're all so delicious, they're all so good for me.
I'm a very happy girl these days, truly.