well..well..well..what do we have here?
Wow..my life has been full of drama..until today because well he left..no goodbye..no see ya later..nothing at all..he just left..so there goes another chapter of my life..time to set it all behind me and move forward.
It's funny, i've been thinking a lot..i think its all because of Nikki and our emo music and random road trips that turn into hours of conversations about how shitty our lives are..But i honestly think that i actually thought of something good..
I've been saying for a while i wish i had never met mike..i wish i had never gone through all of this because it hurts so bad right now. But the funny thing is..i don't wish that at all. I'm glad that i had this experince. I've made some great friendships and have had some amazing memories..thats something that nobody can take away from me. It may be the end of me and mike and all i'll ever have of us is memories of the way it used to be and the person he once was. But i have so much ahead of me. He left me with a lot to look forward to.
It's funny how once you break up with someone it seems like youd go out of your way to hurt them as bad as they hurt you..but in the end you just end up hurting yourself even more. Although i dont regret dating mike or "wasting" (as most would say) four months of my life..i do regret the way it all ended..i regret not saying goodbye the right way. If i could go back to that morning in the parkinglot..i would have put my guard down and let him know how i was truly feeling. I think he left with both of us having a false understanding of our whole situation. We got so caught up in the bullshit and lies that we lost what we really wanted to say. I know that i could try to explain this to him, but i think we've done enough talking and trying to justify ourselves. I guess that's the only thing i can say i wish i could do over again, just so i wouldnt have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach every time i think of him. It's not even because i miss him or because i love him or because im hurt by him..its because he'll never know how i truly feel about him.
But life goes on..right? I always have to remind myself that i've been through worse..that i've been deal a shitty hand in this stupid ass game called life..But i do know that out of everything that has happened to me ive still managed to survive. And i know theres people out there that don't like me or have some stupid understanding of who i am. but there are plenty of people who know who i am and what im about and they know what ive been through and how far ive come and those are the people that keep me going and get me through this shit.
I have yet to find something or someone that is strong enough to bring me down..Time will heal all wounds and i will be fine
It's funny, i've been thinking a lot..i think its all because of Nikki and our emo music and random road trips that turn into hours of conversations about how shitty our lives are..But i honestly think that i actually thought of something good..
I've been saying for a while i wish i had never met mike..i wish i had never gone through all of this because it hurts so bad right now. But the funny thing is..i don't wish that at all. I'm glad that i had this experince. I've made some great friendships and have had some amazing memories..thats something that nobody can take away from me. It may be the end of me and mike and all i'll ever have of us is memories of the way it used to be and the person he once was. But i have so much ahead of me. He left me with a lot to look forward to.
It's funny how once you break up with someone it seems like youd go out of your way to hurt them as bad as they hurt you..but in the end you just end up hurting yourself even more. Although i dont regret dating mike or "wasting" (as most would say) four months of my life..i do regret the way it all ended..i regret not saying goodbye the right way. If i could go back to that morning in the parkinglot..i would have put my guard down and let him know how i was truly feeling. I think he left with both of us having a false understanding of our whole situation. We got so caught up in the bullshit and lies that we lost what we really wanted to say. I know that i could try to explain this to him, but i think we've done enough talking and trying to justify ourselves. I guess that's the only thing i can say i wish i could do over again, just so i wouldnt have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach every time i think of him. It's not even because i miss him or because i love him or because im hurt by him..its because he'll never know how i truly feel about him.
But life goes on..right? I always have to remind myself that i've been through worse..that i've been deal a shitty hand in this stupid ass game called life..But i do know that out of everything that has happened to me ive still managed to survive. And i know theres people out there that don't like me or have some stupid understanding of who i am. but there are plenty of people who know who i am and what im about and they know what ive been through and how far ive come and those are the people that keep me going and get me through this shit.
I have yet to find something or someone that is strong enough to bring me down..Time will heal all wounds and i will be fine