Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Numeracy
“See?” Marshall Teller demanded, his tone at once triumphant and accusatory. His associates, both trusted and not, looked. The blank looks on their faces told him that they did not, in fact, see.
“Come on, guys,” said Marshall. “The house number? I know you know this. Look again!”
“Is that supposed to be your encouraging voice?” said Dash. “Because if it is, I think I just solved the mystery of why Tod McNulty took a swing at you last time you tried to ‘help’ him with his math homework.”
“That’s not why,” said Marshall defensively.
“No, I think it is,” said Dash. “In fact, I myself am feeling a distinct urge to punch you right now if you don’t stop being smug and tell us the answer.”
“That’s... pretty much exactly what Tod said,” said Simon. “Right before he tried to brain him with a trigonometry textbook.”
“I’m calling it now,” said Dash. “Tod is not currently being possessed by a dark spirit who lives inside one of his frankly alarming number of Pitbull Surfers patches; he just doesn’t like being patronised over quadratic equations. Case closed.”
“Case not closed,” said Marshall hotly. “Evil embroidery ghosts are a thing and I am a great math tutor.” He shook his head. “Anyway, that’s not why we’re here.” He pointed at the wood-panelled door across the street. “What’s wrong with this picture?”
“I’m leaving,” said Dash.
Marshall threw up his hands.
“Fine!” he said. “Why is the number plaque black numbers on a blood-red background when every other house on the street has gold lettering on a black background? Why is the font all drippy? Obviously vampires have moved in up the road from my parents and plan on draining the townspeople of their precious blood through a series of night-time visits.”
He let the ensuing silence hang, expectant and full of dread.
“Um,” said Simon. “That’s... oddly specific, Mars.”
Marshall made a dismissive gesture.
“Okay, maybe it’s not for-sure a vampire. But clearly it’s some kind of people-eating creature of the night.”
“Or it’s just some goth renter with a very laid-back landlord,” said Dash.
Marshall scowled.
“It’s number thirteen,” he said. “The unluckiest number! It’s got a creepy monster font on the sign, it’s not keeping to the neighbourhood colour scheme, and most importantly, it’s right between house numbers five and seven, and house six seems to have vanished.”
“Oh,” said Simon. Dash just snorted, but there was a definite undertone of chagrin in the sound.
“Yeah,” said Marshall. “So next time, nobody question my math skills, okay?”
Microwave-verse
Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever
Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods
Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing
Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons
Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations
Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon
Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well
Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound
Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed
The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense
The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed
Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests
Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream
Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed
Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor
In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house
Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list
Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall
Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley
Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem