Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Morning Routine
Marshall Teller, bleary eyed and sleep-rumpled, kicked aside a discarded set of cold-iron chains, stepped over a puddle of oozing star-studded blackness that sometimes but not always took the form of a three-headed hellhound with a penchant for maple syrup, and shuffled over to the coffee pot. Leaning over to rest both elbows on the scarred melamine counter top, he made a futile attempt to push his hair off his forehead as he rested his face in his hands, yawning wide enough to make his jaw ache before opening the overhead cupboard and reaching for the huge novelty mug shaped like a Giants football helmet.
An avalanche of teaspoons rained down upon him, the tinkle of falling metal drawing an irritated chirp from the manticore dozing under the kitchen table. Marshall blinked, knuckling his eyes as his sleep-addled brain tried to process the fact that he was suddenly standing ankle-deep in cutlery. He sighed and switched on the coffee maker before retreating to the safety of a tall barstool, cradling his limited-edition Giants coffee cup in his lap.
The machine gurgled and spat, the smell of brewing coffee gradually filling up the small apartment’s even smaller kitchen. Marshall watched it work, his feet pulled up onto the second rung of the stool, as more and more teaspoons continued to spill from the partially-open cabinet. Already the dingy linoleum floor directly in front of the unit had disappeared under the glittering, clinking cascade. By the time the red light flicked off to let him know the coffee was ready, the tide of silverware had reached half-way up the legs of the table, and the manticore had climbed to the top of the Welsh dresser in a flurry of bristling fur and outraged huffing.
He used the wide-angled mop to clear a path back to the leaking cabinet and poured himself a mug, one arm raised to shield his head from the teaspoons that still tumbled around him. The cupboard door refused to budge when he tried to push it closed, but then, he hadn’t expected it to. He unplugged the coffee maker, moving the now-half empty pot to the kitchen table and storing the rest of the machine in the specially-warded sideboard for safe keeping. Then he pulled the tiny whiteboard and pen from the front of the refrigerator and scribbled a quick note to his housemates.
“Breakfast cupboard cursed. Sudden reappearance of lost spoons, 10+ years worth. Gone to Eeriemat to check on Lodgepoole. Mars.”
Returning the doodle-pad to its usual place between the write-your-own-protective-wards magnetic spelling kit and the rota for checking out water-based crypto-zoological activity, he caught sight of a heavy mountain-root safety harness hanging on the coat rack next to a packet of fire-proof poop-scoops.
“Come on, boys,” he said, reaching for it. “Walkies.”
As the room darkened, the air filling with the smell of sulphur and the deep, echoing rumble of two hellbeasts barking excitedly with all six of their combined mouths, he reflected that a magical menagerie could come in handy if he had to deal with any of the Bureau of Lost’s famously obstructive bureaucracy.
Microwave-verse
Bonfire by froodle, in which Pinocchio is ruined forever
Gingerbread by froodle, in which there is a witch in the Eerie Woods
Leaves by froodle, in which plantlife finds Marshall entirely too enticing
Offspring by froodle, in which there are dragons
Based on Your Previous Purchases by froodle, in which Mars should really pay attention to Amazon's reccomendations
Housework by froodle, in which a rota cannot be agreed upon
Breakfast by froodle, in which Dash's attempts at cookery do not go well
Ghost in the Machine by froodle, in which a new laptop opens an old wound
Consequences by froodle, in which an encounter with leprechauns leaves the boys very tired indeed
The Microwave by froodle, in which Andrea Fantucci returns to Eerie after a considerable absense
The Eldritch Abomination in the Room by froodle, in which the microwave is most definitely not discussed
Basic Household Maintenance by froodle, in which manticores are inconsiderate houseguests
Torrential by froodle, in which there is a storm, and the boys eat ice-cream
Linens by froodle, in which Dash X makes a bed
Night Music by froodle, in which Simon is woken by a nocturnal visitor
In For The Night by froodle, in which Dash refuses to leave the house
Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list
Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall
Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Rainbow by froodle, in which Dash fails to properly appreciate Michael Flatley
Jackolantern by froodle, in which the local pumpkin patch has a problem