Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Public Interest
Outside the Eerie Savings and Loan, three men in drab grey uniforms stood around the boarded-up hole that had once housed Things Incorporated’s groundbreaking interactive ATM. Four fluorescent orange traffic cones marked a wide rectangular space around them, bounded with red and white safety tape. Towering stacks of complementary kitchen appliances had been shifted to one side in order to give the trio room to work, and a knot of customers had formed outside the toaster-barricaded entrance, eager to complete their banking business and be on their way.
Across the road, shielded by the large white workman’s van, Marshall Teller observed the proceedings through the lens of the video camera that was recording everything. As he watched, the first of the grey figures produced a heavy cream-coloured box, trailing wires from the back. His companions pulled away the plywood covering that guarded Mr Wilson’s old home and they began the laborious process of connecting the exposed cables into whatever power source lurked within that subterranean darkness. Marshall ground his teeth as their bodies blocked his view of the thing they were installing, giving out only tantalising glimpses of some bright-red warning labels plastered to the pale surface of whatever it was.
Around noon, during which the workers’ tinny portable radio had repeated the same three songs at least twelve times apiece, the men in grey broke for lunch. Marshall hastily ducked beneath a low ornamental hedge that bordered the grassy verge as they approached, retrieving brown paper bags and well-worn thermos flasks from the front of the van. The crowd of toaster-thwarted account holders outside the bank had thickened, and he abandoned his bike in a municipal flower bed depicting a smiling Mayor Chisel illustrated in violets and marigolds, crossing the street in a studiedly casual fashion that screamed “subterfuge” to anyone watching. Half-way across, it occurred to him that he should have ditched the video camera as well, but it was too late now.
“A defibrillator?!” he said, unable to contain his disappointment. Leaving aside the complete lack of machine sentience or mega-voodoo-Eerie weirdness of some other stripe, most of the people requiring medical assistance on Eerie’s streets were people involved in milk truck accidents. A machine to restart your heart wouldn’t be much use for someone who’s torso had been turned to hamburger in a high velocity dairy disaster.
Beside the glass-fronted box, with its white plastic casing and the graphic fire-engine red depiction of a failing human heart, a new hole had been cut in the rich gold stonework of Eerie Saving’s and Loans glossy facade. Marshall adjusted the zoom on the heavy video camera, peering deep into the dark heart of Eerie’s most toaster-filled financial institute. Jagged masonry and exposed wiring filled the view finder. In his peripheral vision, a sheaf of draftsman’s paper tucked beneath a rusty toolbox fluttered in the summer breeze. He set the camera aside, letting out an involuntary sigh of release as he did so, and pulled the clipboard free.
The top sheet was full of various dire-sounding warnings about confidentiality and data security, and Marshall flipped it over with barely a glance. The next few pages were full of detailed diagrams on how to install and connect a device for delivering massive jolts of electricity to a person’s chest without accidentally killing either the recipient or the user.
“Boring,” said Marshall, flipping further down through the flimsy pages. Instructions on setting up a public telephone, wiring in a cash machine (both with and without self-awareness), the turnstiles on pay-to-use public toilets, and...
“Yes!” said Marshall, setting the papers on the floor and marking the page with a handy screwdriver. He picked up the video camera again and began slowly turning the pages, making sure to get each one in perfect focus before moving on.
“Exorcism Kit For Public Use,” said the header, in bold black font.
Marshall reached for the walkie-talkie hung at his side and pressed the talk button.
“Simon, it’s me,” he said. “Tell the Unkind Ones that Operation: Public Safety Letter Writing Campaign was a success.”
Trusted Associates, Inc.
Halloween by froodle, in which Mars and Simon celebrate a Von Orloff-free All Hallows Eve
Surprise by froodle, in which Mars tries to make sure Simon's birthday goes a little better this year
The Glade by froodle, in which Simon and Mars visit a place that only exists on February 29th
Egg Hunt by froodle, in which Simon and Mars partake of some traditional Easter activities
Boardwalk by froodle, in which Simon and Mars are swayed by radio advertising
Lady in Red by froodle, in which Simon experiments on the old-fashioned radio in the Secret Spot, and horror ensues
Waiting In by froodle, in which there is an ice-storm and a handyman does not arrive
Seafoam by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the seaside
A Night at the Circus by froodle, in which a carnivale comes to town, and Marshall and Simon do not enjoy themselves
Taking a Break by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall enjoy some much-needed R&R
Model Railway by froodle, in which a new business prepares to open in Eerie
Shoreline by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall investigate strange happenings on the shores of Lake Eerie
Parade by froodle, in which Mars takes issue with the Eerie Beekeepers Association's choice of mascot
Homestead by froodle, in which Marshall finally gets something useful out of shop class
Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Errands by froodle, in which Simon has a to-do list
Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.
Waterlogged by froodle, in which Eerie experiences heavy rainfall
Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer
Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie
Wildlife by froodle, in which Simon and Marshall go to the beach
Facilities by froodle, in which the Eerie Bus Station and Supper Club has a problem with the men's toilet
Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox
Castle by froodle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
Visitor in which Marshall's grandma comes to stay
Euclid by froodle, in which Marshall and Simon investigate strange events at the Eerie Cemetery
The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo