Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: A Kings' Ransom
The King Crab's gaze shone with black defiance, but the nylon chains of the shrimping-net prison lay heavy across his great claws and his eyestalks were limp with exhaustion. A little way out from shore, five silver mackerel swam in a yellow bucket shaped like an inverted castle, brave souls willing to die for the world beneath the waves.
The mermaids and the fishwives huddled close together, thin lips tight over rows of needle teeth. The sea witches' tentacles twitched with helpless anger and the kelpies stamped and snorted and tossed manes of white water. Far off, near the horizon, a great grey wave rose on the calm surface of the lake. The water coursers had come to witness the exchange.
At length, the oldest fishwife, a grand dame of the sea whose hair was snarled with a hundred lost fishing lures and who sported a dozen fishbelly-pale scars along her scaly skin, approached the land. The little sea horses paddled their silver shoes in the surf, creating a carpet of foam that cascaded out before her. She clutched the plastic bucket reverently between her webbed hands and hatred burned in her glassy eyes.
Harley Holmes stood barefoot on the cold November sand, the shrimping net dangling carelessly from one thin shoulder. His smile was bright and white and held no pity, and the beach turned to glass between his toes.
In the scrubby gorse bushes that lined the shore, the Jenny Hanivers and the Sea Monks whispered fretfully amongst themselves. Even an exiled heart, long marooned on dry land and dessicated from years of weeping, can still love it's king and these banished flotsam were no different.
Perhaps it was too late, they rustled one to another. Perhaps help would not come in time, perhaps they had been too slow to send word...
A cry went up from the youngest kraken, an inky blot barely showing it's first tendrils. It was soon taken up by others of its' kind, and then the lorelei. In their makeshift transport, the mackerel flitted like stray shards of moonlight.
Harley turned, the shrimp net swinging wildly, and a Sea Hag near the back, who had always had a nervous disposition, cried out and fainted clean away. A posse of mermaids was dispatched to fetch smelling salts and half-rotten feather fans from the wrecked ships below the surface.
Across the sand dunes, sliding and stubbing and nearly falling, somehow always managing to right himself at the very last second, came a saviour in ruined sneakers.
"Harley!" Simon shouted, the cold wind off the water snatching up his words and ushering them to the gathered crowd. "Harley, no!"
The fishwife, her human legs still under water, took a step back, clutching the bucket to her Piscean torso.
"Harley Schwarzenegger Holmes! You put that King Crab back where he belongs and you let those mackerel soldiers go!"
Harley pouted. Simon came skidding down the crumbling embankment that led to the shore and glared down at his brother.
"You are not to start a war with the lake people!" he said, holding out his hand expectantly. "We don't steal other people's kings and use it to bleed off their armies before attacking them!" He paused, fumbling for the right words. "It isn't nice," he added.
Harley shrugged, the King bouncing wildly in his net, and the lorelei moaned in musical horror.
Simon sighed.
"Yeah," he said. "That was a long shot." He knelt so that their eyes were level with each other. "Listen to me, Harley," he said. "Because what I'm going to say is important."
Harley said nothing, but the tilt of his head indicated that he was listening.
"The King Crab and his mackerel guards are strong," Simon went on. "And you were very clever to catch the King Crab and steal him away like you did."
Harley nodded; a King Crab is no ordinary foe and mackerel soldiers are feared throughout the world for their fighting prowess sheer ferocity.
"But a mackerel soldier can't fight on land," Simon explained. "Even if you could get them on your side, they can't leave that bucket."
Harley's gaze slid sideways, appraising his captives in a new light.
"Even the King Crab is weakened on the land," said Simon. "See how tired he is, just from being in your shrimping net?"
Harley nodded again, slower this time.
"So how about you put him back?" asked Simon. "You let him and his mackerel army go and you and me will go hunt up a Rat King you can force to work for you instead."
Harley brightened.
"Did you know a Rat King can have dozens of heads?" Simon said, his tone studiedly off-hand. "Just think of all those heads, all with dozens of tiny rat teeth. Way better than even the royal-est of pinches from an old King Crab."
He reached out slowly, his fingers closing around the handle of the shrimp net. Harley let him take it, watching mutely as Simon knelt in the wet sand and carefully lifted the King Crab free.
"I'm so sorry, Your Majesty," he said, carrying the King Crab to the water's edge and depositing him in the gently roiling surf, where he was instantly surrounded by a thrashing cohort of mackerel soldiers. "He's at that age, you know... tricycles and elevators full of blood and genetically engineered DoberMen..."
The King Crab waded deeper into the rippling tide.
"Your brother will be a great Anti-Christ one day," he bubbled, his underwater vice deep and rich as black river silt. "I hope he remembers us when the time comes and he must pick a spot to cast aside the broken and bloody corpses of his enemies."
Simon rubbed his face, then bowed.
"Your rivers and streams will run red with blood," he promised. "Your people will fest for many days on the bloated bodies of the dead."
The King Crab bobbed his eyestalks regally, turned in an awkward half circle, and scuttled away. The mackerel guard flitted after him, save one who paused for a moment to draw a fin across his gills in an unmistakable threat.
"When you least expect it," piped the mackerel soldier, then darted off to join his men.
Simon stared after him for a long moment.
"Okay then," he said.
Castle, in which there is unexpected architecture in Eerie
The End by froodle, in which Simon reads Harley a bedtime story
Drains by froodle, in which clowns are evil, murderous sacks of shit, and Simon is having none of it
Bathtub, in which the Holmes' have further problems with their plumbing
Communication Difficulties, in which there are barriers to understanding
Playground, in which Simon and Harley should maybe come back another day
Dish of the Day, in which Simon and Marshall return to the playground
Stonewall, Mud Walls, in which Harley is an implacable foe
Biters, in which there is screaming
Riverbank, in which Simon encounters a kelpie
Kaleidoscope by froodle, in which Simon has cause to regret buying cheap toys at the World o' Stuff
Festival by froodle, in which Eerie's local businesses celebrate the summer
Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie
Drive In, in which there is a movie screening
Staged, in which Harley visits a building site
Distractions, in which Simon and Marshall walk home from school
Class of '89, in which they collect Harley
Unsuitable Substitute, in which there is a changeling
Anticipation by froodle, in which Simon and Harley look forward to the Equinox
Informed Shopper, in which Simon contemplates a purchase
Infestation, in which there are pixies
BBQ, in which the Tellers hold a BBQ
Door-to-Door, in which it is Halloween and there are trick-or-treaters
Sentinel, in which it is Halloween and there is hot chocolate
The Stand, in which it is Halloween and there is a war
Dark Messiah, in which there are witches
Ruminant, in which a rescue is mounted
Good to Eat, in which Dash and Simon fill Marshall in
Gridlock, in which Harley encounters one of Eerie's many cults
Common Ground, in which one of Eerie's local youth organisations would like Harley to join them
Persuasion Tactics, in which the recruitment drive becomes agggressive
Competing Traditions, in which Dash and Marshall wait out the Easter weekend
Advent Calendar, in which Marilyn is making Christmas treats for all her children
Window Paint, in which Harley helps decorate his elementary school for Christmas
Pantomime, in which the Tellers enjoy some traditional Christmas entertainment
Visiting Santa, in which Marshall and Simon take Harley on a trip
The Tree, in which Harley helps Simon decorate for Christmas
KrampusNacht, in which the Holmes household has a visitor
Cygnet, in which Harley and Lillian go to the park
Tagged, in which the Bob brothers go to the park
Defacement, in which the Eerie PD investigates a terrible crime
Read the Sign, in which the city council was serious about that fountain
Salvage Rights, in which Harley and Lillian return to the lake
To Serve Birds (Right), in which Marshall and Harley bond
Sneakers by froodle, in which the latest Sky Monsters are released
Hangover, in which Marshall has a little too much to drink, and an innocent sandcastle pays the price
Brand Loyalty, in which MArshall's new shoes are a disappointment
The Hut by froodle, in which Simon takes on the forces of Eerie solo
Shattered Dreams, in which there is a space whale
They, in which Marshall leaves for college and Simon is left behind
Good Secrets Are Hard To Keep, in which Marshall submits a story to his college newspaper
Reception by froodle, in which Simon has problems with his mobile phone
Bulk Buy, in which Simon's desk tidy isn't suited for the job, but he's still better off than his office mates
Incendiary, in which Marshall reads a situation and reaches completely the wrong conclusion
Divergent, in which Dash and Harley talk
Workaday, in which Simon encounters one of Harley's old enemies
Presentation, in which Simon has a plan
Children Are Strange, in which Eerie's local Black Eyed Kids take an interest in Simon's dog