Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Basic Household Maintenance
Takes place after Consequences and Microwave.
"I think the parking structure at work is haunted," said Marshall.
Dash didn't look up from his usual breakfast of Lucky Charms. It had been a month and apparently that joke wasn't getting old anytime soon. From the way the milk in the bowl was turning green, Mars suspected him of adding food colouring to it while it was still in the box. It was typical, really; he'd refused to help make Halloween-themed cupcakes in order to placate an angry, indestructible toddler in an orange romper suit, but he developed a sudden interest in the baking supplies if he thought he could use it to be a jerk.
"The lights keep flickering on and off when I'm leaving for the day," Mars persisted.
"Or they're motion-activated," said Dash. "Next time, as you walk to your car, try screaming and flailing like you did when you tore a hole in space-time right where our microwave used to be, and see if it helps."
Marshall sighed.
"You're not letting go of that, are you?"
Dash tapped his spoon against the side of his bowl. Bright drops of iridescent-green milk splattered on the tablecloth.
"There's a portal to another dimension in the kitchen," he said. "And apparently, it's not the kind that gives you a lucrative supply of stuffed animals, but the kind that spits out monsters." He glared at Marshall. "There was a manticore in the shower this morning. It shredded all the dry towels and smashed the shower door with it's stinger."
"You need to learn to knock," said Marshall, a little defensively.
"I need to be able to shave in peace without weird lion-headed, scorpion-tailed monsters asking me if we have any shower-gel that's suitable for sensitive skin."
"Okay, okay," Marshall threw up his hands in defeat. "I promise, I will ask my dad about the metal they used in the microwave, and I will patch the gap in reality that keeps letting creatures nobody's seen in millennia into our apartment where they use up all the hot water and hog the sofa, even though if you stop and think about it, this is actually a huge opportunity for-"
A spoonful of soggy Lucky Charms hit him in the face.
"Patch. The. Hole." said Dash.
"I think the parking structure at work is haunted," said Marshall.
Dash didn't look up from his usual breakfast of Lucky Charms. It had been a month and apparently that joke wasn't getting old anytime soon. From the way the milk in the bowl was turning green, Mars suspected him of adding food colouring to it while it was still in the box. It was typical, really; he'd refused to help make Halloween-themed cupcakes in order to placate an angry, indestructible toddler in an orange romper suit, but he developed a sudden interest in the baking supplies if he thought he could use it to be a jerk.
"The lights keep flickering on and off when I'm leaving for the day," Mars persisted.
"Or they're motion-activated," said Dash. "Next time, as you walk to your car, try screaming and flailing like you did when you tore a hole in space-time right where our microwave used to be, and see if it helps."
Marshall sighed.
"You're not letting go of that, are you?"
Dash tapped his spoon against the side of his bowl. Bright drops of iridescent-green milk splattered on the tablecloth.
"There's a portal to another dimension in the kitchen," he said. "And apparently, it's not the kind that gives you a lucrative supply of stuffed animals, but the kind that spits out monsters." He glared at Marshall. "There was a manticore in the shower this morning. It shredded all the dry towels and smashed the shower door with it's stinger."
"You need to learn to knock," said Marshall, a little defensively.
"I need to be able to shave in peace without weird lion-headed, scorpion-tailed monsters asking me if we have any shower-gel that's suitable for sensitive skin."
"Okay, okay," Marshall threw up his hands in defeat. "I promise, I will ask my dad about the metal they used in the microwave, and I will patch the gap in reality that keeps letting creatures nobody's seen in millennia into our apartment where they use up all the hot water and hog the sofa, even though if you stop and think about it, this is actually a huge opportunity for-"
A spoonful of soggy Lucky Charms hit him in the face.
"Patch. The. Hole." said Dash.