(no subject)
Got freaking sniffed and molested by a creepy cowboy at a party last night. I danced with him, in the beginning, because he looked awkward and kind of scared, and then the DJ put on a fucking slow song four seconds after we stood up together, and of course the fucker can't dance, and of course he wants to look into my eyes as we stumble around together and of course he's freaking cross-eyed up close so I can't look without laughing, and he won't give me room to back up, so naturally I have to turn away and rest my head on his chest (lower part of his sternum, actually, and I'm not that short, 5'6", fucker was freaky tall) so I don't giggle myself to death.
Then he followed me back to the bar and wouldn't keep his hands off me.
And he sniffed. Like, my hair, which is iffy, but understandable, I was rocking my peach conditioner, but then my neck, which made me shiver in a bad way but was interpreted to be in a good way, and then, when I had maneuvered away and told him to cool it, but had to reach back over to get my drink, the inside of my fucking elbow. He actually lifted my arm and sniffed my elbow.
Eventually, Elle, who was drunk off her ass, had to come over and defend my virtue, which was funny as fuck and more effective than I would have thought possible, considering her threats of violence were immediately followed by an emergency trip to the loo so she could puke up her appletini. Yes. Singular. Lady is a freakin' featherweight.
Then we had taquitos and I drove us to my place.
We have like, a hetero bed-mate system, which is funny 'cause I'm not quite hetero, but anyway. We have our pillows and our sides of the bed and our positions. We're like an old married couple only young and not together like that. She sleeps here at least two nights a week. I find that hilarious.
Then he followed me back to the bar and wouldn't keep his hands off me.
And he sniffed. Like, my hair, which is iffy, but understandable, I was rocking my peach conditioner, but then my neck, which made me shiver in a bad way but was interpreted to be in a good way, and then, when I had maneuvered away and told him to cool it, but had to reach back over to get my drink, the inside of my fucking elbow. He actually lifted my arm and sniffed my elbow.
Eventually, Elle, who was drunk off her ass, had to come over and defend my virtue, which was funny as fuck and more effective than I would have thought possible, considering her threats of violence were immediately followed by an emergency trip to the loo so she could puke up her appletini. Yes. Singular. Lady is a freakin' featherweight.
Then we had taquitos and I drove us to my place.
We have like, a hetero bed-mate system, which is funny 'cause I'm not quite hetero, but anyway. We have our pillows and our sides of the bed and our positions. We're like an old married couple only young and not together like that. She sleeps here at least two nights a week. I find that hilarious.