I don't even know.
Title: The Wonder Woman Method
Author: Me.
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory/Supernatural (DON'T JUDGE ME.)
Spoilers: Nope.
Rating/Warnings: R for ghostly language and squicky behavior.
Word Count: ~4,400
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Notes: Written for the April crossover fiction challenge thing at Paradox. Don't laugh at me, it's five am and that means I'm five hours late. Unbetad. Possibly ridiculous.
Summary: Penny felt mildly ridiculous, yet slightly cool, holding a sword at the ready as they made their way through a shadowy collectibles shop.
“Sheldon, sweetie, I’m not sure they’re open.” Penny stepped over the threshold into the dimly-lit store, blinking to adjust her eyes from the brilliance of a bright orange sunset to the dark of blacked-out windows and flickering green fluorescents. The heavy door swung shut behind her. The small, out of the way shop was long and narrow, with shelves and display cases packed in haphazardly and crowded with all manner of collectibles.
“Nonsense, Penny.” He replied, looking around at the shelves with wonder. “The sign on the door says it’s open; the door itself is unlocked. Oh look! An Original Series 1968 Dr. McCoy action figure in the original box!” He picked the box up delicately and inspected it. “And it’s unopened!”
“Wow.” Penny said inattentively, accidently brushing against a delicate looking display case and shrinking away from it.
“I can’t believe I’ve never noticed this establishment before.” Sheldon said, his hands ghosting over brightly colored mint packaging, leaving fingertip trails through the dust.
“See Sheldon? Aren’t you glad I took Euclid Avenue now?”
Sheldon turned around from perusing a comic rack and stared at her for a moment as though she were ridiculous. “No.”
Penny rolled her eyes and went in search of the proprietor. “Hello?” She called out, walking down the long, narrow aisle to the checkout counter and eyeing the rusted ring for service bell warily. There was a small display stand exhibiting a hodgepodge of lighters next to the ancient cash register and Penny absently toyed with a Wonder Woman Zippo as she looked around. “Anybody here?” There was no answer and no hint of movement and Penny turned back around to where Sheldon had been scanning old-looking X-Mens.
He was no longer visible down the aisle he’d been scoping out, and Penny couldn’t see his dark hair over the tops of the high shelves. “I don’t think there’s anybody here, Sheldon.” There was no response.
She tried again, walking around the perimeter of the store and peering down the aisles as she went. “Sheldon?” The lights began to flicker more conspicuously, and Penny felt a chill run up her spine and out along her arms. She shivered and glanced up at the lights worriedly.
A cry of surprise rang out from the other end of the store and Penny was running before the sound had registered fully. She slowed as she neared the far wall, but was spurred on by another sound, this time a loud gasp. “Sheldon?” She called. “Sheldon are you oka-” She rounded a corner and came to a tripping halt next to a suit of armor.
Sheldon sat cross-legged on the floor, an ancient looking wooden box lay open and empty next to him and a small frame was clutched in his hands. He turned to look at her and thrust the frame up, turning it so she could see it clearly. “Look!” He crowed, eyes bright and smile eerily mimicking one of the subjects of the small piece of art. “It’s the original artwork for a 1966 Batman trading card.” He squirmed and then pulled his hand back to gaze at the picture once more, tracing his fingers lovingly over the protective glass. “The Joker’s Icy Jest.” He whispered, reverent and tender.
Penny took a moment to breathe and regain the ability of speech, hands clenched tight at her sides. She felt the edges of the Wonder Woman lighter digging into her right palm and forced herself to relax. “Sheldon?” She asked, her voice painfully sweet.
He grinned up at her, still in a haze of fanatic glee. “Yes Penny?”
“What the HELL?” Her voice squeaked up on the final word and she stomped a foot in frustration.
Sheldon was visibly bewildered. “Penny? What’s the matter?”
“I turn my head for one second and you disappear on me! And then you didn’t answer when I called and you made that freaking sound and scared me half to death and I finally find you and you’re looking at trading cards and this place is gross and I don’t like it!” Her voice had pitched higher with every word and Penny broke off, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat. “It creeps me out, Sheldon. I don’t want be here.”
Sheldon watched her for a long moment, waiting to see if she start again. She didn’t, and he once more held the frame up. “It’s not just a trading card, Penny, it’s the original artwork.” He annunciated the last words slowly.
Penny’s jaw slid sideways and she blinked at him before calmly turning and walking away. “You’re walking home.” She announced over her shoulder, marching towards the thick wooden door.
Sheldon watched her go, his brow furling in confusion. He looked down at his surroundings and scrabbled to his feet. “Penny!”
“What?” She spun around and asked him sharply.
“Something’s wrong.” He looked at her, genuinely scared, and Penny sighed.
“What is it?”
“I don’t remember how I got here.” He said.
“I was driving you home down Euclid Avenue and you saw the stupid ‘collectibles’ sign down the alley. You wouldn’t shut up ‘til I turned around and went back.”
“No, I know that.” Sheldon said, frustrated, “But I was over there,” he gestured to the front of the store by the comics and the register. “Now I’m over here and, Penny, I was sitting on the floor.”
Penny looked down at the dank woken flooring, scuffing her toe through the layer of damp dust and mildew. “Huh. That is weird.” She glanced around her at the cobwebs and the rusted metal of the wire racks displaying broken plastic and crumpled boxes. “In fact, I’m surprised you came in here at all. Hell, I’m surprised I came in here.”
Sheldon looked down at the frame in his hand. The glass was dirty and cracked, the art behind it faded with time. “Penny, something is very wrong.” He carefully set the frame down on a nearby shelf and looked up. “I would like to leave now.”
“You and me both.” Penny turned and looked down at the doorknob. Surely it hadn’t been that grimy before? She shook herself and set the lighter on top of a glass case perched by the entrance. A porcelain doll beamed at her from behind the glass, the smile somehow sinister. Penny grimaced and grabbed the doorknob, no longer mindful of the filth. It rattled alarmingly but did not twist. She shook it harder. “Sheldon?”
“What is it? Let’s go.” He was standing nervously behind her, crowding into her personal space and looking back over his shoulder.
“It’s locked.” Penny said, her voice conspicuously void of inflection.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s locked, Sheldon! What else would I mean?”
“Well unlock it!”
Penny rolled her eyes and stepped aside, gesturing roughly with one hand while she scrubbed the other off on her jeans, “It needs a key, genius.”
“Let me try.” He pushed past her and reached out to take the doorknob. He caught sight of it before his fingers could wrap around it, however, and recoiled. “Good lord.”
“Be my guest.” Penny said over his shouler as obnoxiously as possible.
Sheldon pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and used it as a buffer between the knob and his careful fingers.
Penny was silent, listening to the futile rattle of the knob and looking around at the increasingly revolting shop.
The clatter stopped. Sheldon waited a beat, before informing Penny, “It’s locked.”
Penny slumped, and then called out to the shop at large. “Hello? Is anybody-”
The lights went out.
“Here?” Penny finished with a waver in her voice, the absolute blackness surrounding them seemed to swallow the sound.
“Penny?” Sheldon’s hand brushed against her elbow and his fingers immediately latched on to her arm.
The contact knocked Penny out of her petrified daze, and she swept her hand across Sheldon’s as she turned and felt across the top of the glass case. “It’s okay, hang on.” With a snick and a scuff their immediate surroundings were bathed in a comforting orange glow.
Sheldon looked at her with wide, anxious eyes. Penny stared back, unsure of what to do. A scraping noise from the other side of the store interrupted the hollow sound of their tense breathing. Penny jumped and spun, backing up until she felt Sheldon’s chest against her shoulder blades, warm and solid, expanding and contracting with each breath. Past the flickering burn of the lighter a faint blue glow could be seen over the top of the shelves.
“We should go see what that is.” Sheldon breathed, softer than a whisper, as if trying not to disturb the silence surrounding them.
“Are you serious? You want to go towards the eerie light in the distance?” Penny whispered back.
“Well I suppose we could stay here until Wonder Woman runs out of fuel and we’re left with only our thoughts and whatever happens to be festering on the nearby detritus to accompany us.”
Penny paused. “You could use your cell phone and call someone to get us out of here.” She said slowly, trying not to ding his genius ego too hard.
She felt him shuffle his feet just behind hers. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Penny heard the rustle of cloth against skin as Sheldon dug around in the front pocket of his chinos. Then she heard another rustle as he checked the other pocket. She waited for him to check both back pockets before interrupting. “You left it on the charger again, didn’t you?”
Sheldon sniffed. “What about your phone?”
“It’s in my purse.”
“Where’s your purse?”
“In my car.”
“You left your purse in the car? Out in the open? Penny, someone could steal it!”
“Sheldon, anyone who’s looking in my car for something to steal is an idiot.”
“Oh, well that’s fine then, because thieves are never idiots.”
“You’re really getting the hang of sarcasm.”
“Thank you.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Investigate the light, as I had originally suggested.”
“Okay, but hang on.”
She hurried away, holding the lighter in front of her like a miniscule torch, before Sheldon could do more than sputter. Through the darkness he heard the sliding clang of metal scraping metal and Penny soon reemerged from the shadows, holding the sword from the suit of armor before her triumphantly. “Protection!”
“Good idea. Let me take the lighter.”
Penny looked questioningly down at Wonder Woman’s honorable face, cut in half where the lid of the zippo was flipped open. “But why?”
Sheldon plucked it from her fingers. “So you have a free hand.”
“Why do I need a free hand?” Penny asked as they began to walk towards the cash register.
Sheldon didn’t reply, instead holding the lighter in front of them both and fretfully tangling their fingers together, refusing to look over at her.
Penny ducked to hide her smile anyway, momentarily forgetting their offensive surroundings. They were almost to the comics when Sheldon tugged on her hand to stop her. He didn’t say anything but she followed the line of his arm as he let go of her hand and reached up to the top shelf, pulling down an antique kerosene lantern. He lit it silently, and handed her the lighter once he was done.
The metal was warm in her palm, and after she had slipped it into the back pocket of her jeans Sheldon once more took her hand in his.
Penny felt mildly ridiculous, yet slightly cool, holding a sword at the ready as they made their way through a shadowy collectibles shop. When they reached the desk at the back, however, she mostly felt scared. The blue light was emanating from a previously unnoticed door situated behind the cash register. As they watched; the rectangular outline widened faintly, the door scraping along the floor and groaning painfully as it did. The low, musty smell of rot that pervaded the entire store assaulted Penny’s nose with a new vehemence.
“I guess we’re going back there, huh?” Penny gave a pathetic attempt at a chuckle.
“You go first.” Sheldon replied, pulling her forward around the counter but not letting go of her hand.
Penny squawked indignantly and scuffled back to where she’d been. “Me? Why do I have to go first?”
“Because you have the sword.” Sheldon said, “D’you want to switch?”
Penny gripped the handle of the sword tighter. “No.”
“Then after you.” Sheldon made a wide gesture with the lantern and rolled his eyes. Penny scrunched her face up and stuck her tongue out at him as she shuffled past. Bending her left arm behind her and holding Sheldon’s hand firmly against her lower back, Penny crept through the open door, sword elevated and trembling slightly.
The blue glow was moonlight, streaming through a small broken window near the ceiling. “You think we could get out through there?” Penny asked, lowering her sword and trying to take a few steps forward, but the hand wrapped around hers held her back. “Sheldon?”
She turned around but stopped short of speaking. The shine of the lantern illuminated Sheldon’s pale face, the flickering reflection dancing across his wide, wet eyes. She followed his gaze and sucked in a revolted gasp.
A man, or what used to be a man, was slumped over in an office chair, his face buried in a Star Wars lunchbox. C3PO stared emotionlessly out at them from the lid, and the bones of one of the man’s hands lay beside the lunchbox on the desk, clenching a napkin tightly.
“Penny I don’t wanna be in here.” Sheldon said, quietly but urgent.
“Yeah.” Penny nodded, unable to tear her eyes from the figure at the desk. “Yeah, okay.”
They were turning to leave when the door to the office slammed shut, leaving them trapped inside. Sheldon released her and twisted at the doorknob with both hands, but it wouldn’t budge.
“Oh hell no.” Penny swung the sword around threateningly at the door. “Let us out!”
“Who are you talking to?” Sheldon asked frantically, backing away from the wavering sword tip.
“Whatever the hell just locked us in here.”
“Penny, are you suggesting-”
“Ghosts, Sheldon, spirits, whatever. Yes, I’m suggesting it.”
Sheldon sighed and looked down at his feet, as if they were the only other reasonable entities in the room, and shook his head, before trying to reason with her. “The fact that we are in a rather strange, atmospheric situation and there is a dead body in the room does not make it necessary to leap to such a laughable conclusion.”
“The fact that I’m holding a sword doesn’t make it necessary for you to be nice to me, Sheldon.” Penny said. “But I’d highly recommend it.” She smiled at him, baring her teeth, and slipped away to pick her way around the office.
“Penny, ghosts don’t exist.”
“I’ve got an aunt back home in Nebraska who hunts them for a living.” She replied over her shoulder.
“Of course you do.”
“Hey! Don’t mock Aunt Ellen. She’ll kick your ass.”
Sheldon watched as Penny snooped around the office, skimming through paperwork and examining the few framed photographs closely, deliberately avoiding the body slumped over the desk. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for clues.”
“Clues to what?”
“I’m trying to figure out why this guy,” she flicked her head towards the body without looking at it, “if it is this guy, is keeping us here.” Penny picked up a photograph and cocked her head.
“Penny, this man is not doing anything to us,” Sheldon said slowly, “because this man is dead.”
“Whatever, Moonpie. Nonbelievers are the first to go. Here check this out.” She brought the picture over to him. There were two people in tragically eighties clothing. A skinny young man with dark hair in a turquoise wind-breaker and a pretty, if overly-aquanetted, girl. “She look happy to you?”
“Not especially, no, but I’m not very good at interpreting facial expressions, Penny. You know that.”
“Whatever, just try your best. Now, does he look happy?”
Sheldon squinted down at the photo. “Yes?”
“Good. Yes, he does.” Penny moved to set the frame back on top of a file cabinet.
“Olivia.” Penny felt the whisper across her ear and down her jaw, and she shivered.
“Olivia? Who’s Olivia?”
“Penny.” That was Sheldon’s voice. That was Sheldon’s voice from all the way across the room. Penny suddenly felt very cold.
“Sheldon?”
“you left You left me left me, Olivia”
“Penny there’s something. There’s something behind you.” Sheldon’s voice was brittle and strangely clear.
“Sheldon, what kind of sword is this?” Penny asked, trying to keep her breathing steady. The frozen draft was once more slipping across her ear and she felt cold, lifeless hands settle around her hips.
“British.” Sheldon managed. “Mid fifteenth century. Penny, I don’t- Penny what do I do?”
Icy fingers splayed across Penny’s abdomen. “What’s it made out of?” Her hair was swept up off of her neck and a thousand prickling needles assaulted her skin.
“Penny?”
“The sword, Sheldon!”
“I-I don’t- Iron. Most likely iron.”
“Iron.” Penny took a deep breath. “That’s good.” She turned and sliced at the air. The frigid, flickering thing behind her screamed and dissipated.
Sheldon breathed out. “How did you do that?”
“Iron. It’s like their kryptonite. That and salt.”
“Ghosts.” Sheldon said, staring at her.
“Yes. Ghosts. If you’ll remember I suggested them earlier.”
“You did. You said there are ghosts and there are ghosts.” Sheldon sat down heavily on the floor.
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Sheldon. Now get up, ‘cause he’ll be back.”
“Shakespeare.” He said, still overcome. “Ghosts are real and you know Shakespeare.”
“I’m an actor. Of course I know Shakespeare. Now get up and help me look for salt.”
“Salt?”
“Kryptonite, remember?”
“Bat signal.” He mumbled, getting up and walking on shaky knees over to the desk. What Penny had assumed to just be random Batman and Bat signal figurines were, in fact, a set of salt and pepper shakers.
“Okay, it’s full, but it’s probably not enough for a circle.”
“A circle?”
“Yeah. You know, to stand in so it can’t get to us.”
“Stand in for how long? Do they go away in daylight? Is there a time limit? Do they become weak?”
“I don’t know, Sheldon!” Penny bit her bottom lip and looked at the salt in frustration. “Aunt Ellen, she used to tell me stories, but that was a long time ago, before Uncle Bill died and she moved away.”
Sheldon leaned against the desk wearily, setting the lantern down by his hip. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Me either.” Penny shifted on her feet uneasily. “I think I feel something.”
“It’s cold.” Sheldon agreed, standing straight once more and edging closer to Penny, searching for any sign of the ghost. She reached out to take his hand and he unthinkingly reached back. He had half a second’s warning, no more than a bitter blast of air in his eyes, before a powerful cold slammed into his chest and sent him flying back to crash against the wall.
“Sheldon!” Penny cried, racing towards him and carving the air with her sword. But there was nothing there, merely an indent of fingers in the flesh of Sheldon’s neck and Sheldon’s increasingly labored breathing as he struggled against the wall, over a foot from the ground.
“leave myStay away frommy Olivia alone”
“Let him go!” Penny screamed, and the ghost sputtered into existence, turning from Sheldon but keeping him pinned to the wall. She slashed the sword through the air without hesitation, shrinking back from the shrieking explosion of specter that followed.
Sheldon crumpled to the floor.
The sword clattered to the carpet and Penny dropped to her knees. “Sheldon?” She ran her fingers through his hair and tilted his head up. “Sheldon?” He blinked groggily up at her and opened his mouth. Nothing but a scraping gasp came out, and he tried again.
“Burns. It burns.” Sheldon rasped, fingertips tapping and dragging gingerly across his neck. The skin there did look red and raw, but Penny was more interested in his words.
“Burn.” Penny repeated, then continued slowly. “Salt and burn.”
Sheldon looked at her, uncomprehending, and swallowed thickly. He reached up to touch the hand supporting his head, but she was already moving away. “Penny, I don’t… I feel stra-”
“Hang on, Sheldon! I think I remember!”
She knocked the lid from the lantern, hissing as the hot metal seared her knuckles, and blew out the flame. Splashing the remaining kerosene over the corpse by moonlight, Penny scraped the stopper out of the Bat signal salt shaker and dumped the contents over the body as well. She was reaching for Wonder Woman, tucked into her back pocket when a strong, warm, human hand gripped her wrist and twisted it up behind her.
Penny cried out as she was thrust forward and bent over the desk. The person behind her bent over as well, leaning in to bury his nose in her hair and sniff. Penny shuddered and he moaned, leaning even closer and nuzzling her neck. “Sheldon?” Her voice was high and soft with disbelief, but then he whispered in her ear.
“Olivia”
“No.” Penny struggled harder, bucking back against him and throwing her weight to the side, but he held fast, wrapping another arm around her torso and lifting her up to slam her back down further up on the desk. Unable to reach the floor, her leverage was gone, and he’d trapped her free arm against her body with one of his own.
He draped himself across her back and began to speak in her ear; Sheldon’s familiar timbre was gone, replaced with something sharp and alien. “Why did you leave me?”
Penny clenched her jaw and turned her head away from the moist breath. She opened her eyes and jerked back at the sight of decaying flesh. The grip around her waist got tighter, and the voice continued on. “I gave you what you wanted. I gave you all that I had but you still left.”
“Let me go!” Penny thrashed against him. “I’m not your god damned girlfriend, asshole. I’m not Olivia!”
“You were everything to me!” He shouted over her protestations, pressing her harder into the desk. “You were everything, but you couldn’t be with a fucking freak like me!”
Penny cracked her head back into his jaw and rolled, wrenching her arm painfully but managing to break free. She dove from the desk and fumbled for the sword, scrambling backwards and raising it before he could get to her. Tears blurred her vision at the sight of the monster in her friend’s skin. His face was wrong, tight and controlled and disturbed like Sheldon’s never was. “Stay away from me.” She said, but it sounded weak even to her own ears. He advanced slowly.
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” He said, low and confident, smiling at the waver in her voice, the falter in the sword’s line as her hands shook. He took another step forward, and Penny, unable to harm Sheldon, let him brush the blade aside.
It clattered once more to the floor and Sheldon’s hand, strong and thin, was presented to her, palm up. She took a deep breath and settled her left hand in his right, allowing him to pull her to her feet.
“I knew you’d come back.” Sheldon’s crooked smile was gone, turned wicked and smug with someone else’s intent. “I knew you still loved me.”
Penny smiled sadly and shook her head, running the fingers of her left hand through his hair. “I’m not Olivia, sweetie. Olivia left you.”
His brief dark look was mollified by the fingers stroking down his neck and the arm coming up to wrap around his waist. “And you know what?”
He shook his head, looking down at her expectantly.
Penny leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t blame her.” With a snick and a scuff, she sent Wonder Woman sailing through the air towards the body.
His face contorted with shock and rage, but as soon as the corpse caught fire the air around them seemed to crackle with dissipating energy, and his eyes rolled up into his head as he collapsed into Penny’s arms.
She lowered Sheldon gently to the ground, cradling his head in her lap and stroking his hair back from his forehead.
He was beginning to come around, moaning and fluttering his eyelids, when the door to the office swung open with a resounding bang.
Two men rushed in, illuminated by the revived fluorescent lights of the main shop. The taller one held a beat-up can of lighter fluid, the other one a sawed-off shotgun. “Alright you son of a-” the shorter one paused at the sight of them and switched tactics, “pretty lady.” He settled the shotgun back against his shoulder with a smile and gave a little wave with his other hand. “Hey there.”
“Hi.” Penny said, looking back and forth between them.
“Hi.” The taller one said, with an awkward little wave of his own.
“Hi.” Sheldon piped up from Penny’s lap, looking at them all in confusion.
“Hi.” Sawed-off reiterated, still looking at Penny.
“Hi.” She said, not impressed with the look in his eye.
“Okay.” The Tall One said, flicking the hair from his eyes and looking at them apologetically. “This may sound weird, but have you guys seen anything… strange around here?”
“Like a psycho molesting nerd-ghost who likes to possess people?” Penny asked.
“Um, yes, actually.”
“Yeah, he’s toast.” Penny said, nonchalant.
“Oh.” He flicked his hair back again and traded a glance with the other guy. “Well I guess that’s… good, then.”
“Yeah.” Sawed-off nodded, eyeing the smoldering remains appreciatively. “Well done.”
“Is that all?” Penny asked, raising her eyebrows in universal get lost code.
“Oh! Yeah, We’re just gonna-” The Tall One hooked a finger in the collar of Sawed-off’s over-large leather jacket and tugged him along, “We’re gonna go, now. Bye”
“Bye!” Sawed-off called over his shoulder with an eyebrow waggle and a smirk.
“Penny?” Sheldon asked, head still resting in her lap.
“Yes?”
He looked down at the hand resting on his chest, tracing the red marks on her wrist with a finger. “He made me hurt you.”
She nodded, trailing her own fingers over the bruise forming on his jaw. “He made me hurt you.”
“Who were those men?”
“Ghost hunters, probably.”
“Like the Ghost Busters?”
She nodded.
“But with no slime.”
She shook her head.
“Penny?”
“What, sweetie?”
“Ghosts are real.”
“Yes, they are.”
“…Penny?”
“What?”
“I’m on the floor.”
She rolled her eyes and helped him to his feet.
~*~
~The End~
♥
Author: Me.
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory/Supernatural (DON'T JUDGE ME.)
Spoilers: Nope.
Rating/Warnings: R for ghostly language and squicky behavior.
Word Count: ~4,400
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Notes: Written for the April crossover fiction challenge thing at Paradox. Don't laugh at me, it's five am and that means I'm five hours late. Unbetad. Possibly ridiculous.
Summary: Penny felt mildly ridiculous, yet slightly cool, holding a sword at the ready as they made their way through a shadowy collectibles shop.
“Sheldon, sweetie, I’m not sure they’re open.” Penny stepped over the threshold into the dimly-lit store, blinking to adjust her eyes from the brilliance of a bright orange sunset to the dark of blacked-out windows and flickering green fluorescents. The heavy door swung shut behind her. The small, out of the way shop was long and narrow, with shelves and display cases packed in haphazardly and crowded with all manner of collectibles.
“Nonsense, Penny.” He replied, looking around at the shelves with wonder. “The sign on the door says it’s open; the door itself is unlocked. Oh look! An Original Series 1968 Dr. McCoy action figure in the original box!” He picked the box up delicately and inspected it. “And it’s unopened!”
“Wow.” Penny said inattentively, accidently brushing against a delicate looking display case and shrinking away from it.
“I can’t believe I’ve never noticed this establishment before.” Sheldon said, his hands ghosting over brightly colored mint packaging, leaving fingertip trails through the dust.
“See Sheldon? Aren’t you glad I took Euclid Avenue now?”
Sheldon turned around from perusing a comic rack and stared at her for a moment as though she were ridiculous. “No.”
Penny rolled her eyes and went in search of the proprietor. “Hello?” She called out, walking down the long, narrow aisle to the checkout counter and eyeing the rusted ring for service bell warily. There was a small display stand exhibiting a hodgepodge of lighters next to the ancient cash register and Penny absently toyed with a Wonder Woman Zippo as she looked around. “Anybody here?” There was no answer and no hint of movement and Penny turned back around to where Sheldon had been scanning old-looking X-Mens.
He was no longer visible down the aisle he’d been scoping out, and Penny couldn’t see his dark hair over the tops of the high shelves. “I don’t think there’s anybody here, Sheldon.” There was no response.
She tried again, walking around the perimeter of the store and peering down the aisles as she went. “Sheldon?” The lights began to flicker more conspicuously, and Penny felt a chill run up her spine and out along her arms. She shivered and glanced up at the lights worriedly.
A cry of surprise rang out from the other end of the store and Penny was running before the sound had registered fully. She slowed as she neared the far wall, but was spurred on by another sound, this time a loud gasp. “Sheldon?” She called. “Sheldon are you oka-” She rounded a corner and came to a tripping halt next to a suit of armor.
Sheldon sat cross-legged on the floor, an ancient looking wooden box lay open and empty next to him and a small frame was clutched in his hands. He turned to look at her and thrust the frame up, turning it so she could see it clearly. “Look!” He crowed, eyes bright and smile eerily mimicking one of the subjects of the small piece of art. “It’s the original artwork for a 1966 Batman trading card.” He squirmed and then pulled his hand back to gaze at the picture once more, tracing his fingers lovingly over the protective glass. “The Joker’s Icy Jest.” He whispered, reverent and tender.
Penny took a moment to breathe and regain the ability of speech, hands clenched tight at her sides. She felt the edges of the Wonder Woman lighter digging into her right palm and forced herself to relax. “Sheldon?” She asked, her voice painfully sweet.
He grinned up at her, still in a haze of fanatic glee. “Yes Penny?”
“What the HELL?” Her voice squeaked up on the final word and she stomped a foot in frustration.
Sheldon was visibly bewildered. “Penny? What’s the matter?”
“I turn my head for one second and you disappear on me! And then you didn’t answer when I called and you made that freaking sound and scared me half to death and I finally find you and you’re looking at trading cards and this place is gross and I don’t like it!” Her voice had pitched higher with every word and Penny broke off, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat. “It creeps me out, Sheldon. I don’t want be here.”
Sheldon watched her for a long moment, waiting to see if she start again. She didn’t, and he once more held the frame up. “It’s not just a trading card, Penny, it’s the original artwork.” He annunciated the last words slowly.
Penny’s jaw slid sideways and she blinked at him before calmly turning and walking away. “You’re walking home.” She announced over her shoulder, marching towards the thick wooden door.
Sheldon watched her go, his brow furling in confusion. He looked down at his surroundings and scrabbled to his feet. “Penny!”
“What?” She spun around and asked him sharply.
“Something’s wrong.” He looked at her, genuinely scared, and Penny sighed.
“What is it?”
“I don’t remember how I got here.” He said.
“I was driving you home down Euclid Avenue and you saw the stupid ‘collectibles’ sign down the alley. You wouldn’t shut up ‘til I turned around and went back.”
“No, I know that.” Sheldon said, frustrated, “But I was over there,” he gestured to the front of the store by the comics and the register. “Now I’m over here and, Penny, I was sitting on the floor.”
Penny looked down at the dank woken flooring, scuffing her toe through the layer of damp dust and mildew. “Huh. That is weird.” She glanced around her at the cobwebs and the rusted metal of the wire racks displaying broken plastic and crumpled boxes. “In fact, I’m surprised you came in here at all. Hell, I’m surprised I came in here.”
Sheldon looked down at the frame in his hand. The glass was dirty and cracked, the art behind it faded with time. “Penny, something is very wrong.” He carefully set the frame down on a nearby shelf and looked up. “I would like to leave now.”
“You and me both.” Penny turned and looked down at the doorknob. Surely it hadn’t been that grimy before? She shook herself and set the lighter on top of a glass case perched by the entrance. A porcelain doll beamed at her from behind the glass, the smile somehow sinister. Penny grimaced and grabbed the doorknob, no longer mindful of the filth. It rattled alarmingly but did not twist. She shook it harder. “Sheldon?”
“What is it? Let’s go.” He was standing nervously behind her, crowding into her personal space and looking back over his shoulder.
“It’s locked.” Penny said, her voice conspicuously void of inflection.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s locked, Sheldon! What else would I mean?”
“Well unlock it!”
Penny rolled her eyes and stepped aside, gesturing roughly with one hand while she scrubbed the other off on her jeans, “It needs a key, genius.”
“Let me try.” He pushed past her and reached out to take the doorknob. He caught sight of it before his fingers could wrap around it, however, and recoiled. “Good lord.”
“Be my guest.” Penny said over his shouler as obnoxiously as possible.
Sheldon pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and used it as a buffer between the knob and his careful fingers.
Penny was silent, listening to the futile rattle of the knob and looking around at the increasingly revolting shop.
The clatter stopped. Sheldon waited a beat, before informing Penny, “It’s locked.”
Penny slumped, and then called out to the shop at large. “Hello? Is anybody-”
The lights went out.
“Here?” Penny finished with a waver in her voice, the absolute blackness surrounding them seemed to swallow the sound.
“Penny?” Sheldon’s hand brushed against her elbow and his fingers immediately latched on to her arm.
The contact knocked Penny out of her petrified daze, and she swept her hand across Sheldon’s as she turned and felt across the top of the glass case. “It’s okay, hang on.” With a snick and a scuff their immediate surroundings were bathed in a comforting orange glow.
Sheldon looked at her with wide, anxious eyes. Penny stared back, unsure of what to do. A scraping noise from the other side of the store interrupted the hollow sound of their tense breathing. Penny jumped and spun, backing up until she felt Sheldon’s chest against her shoulder blades, warm and solid, expanding and contracting with each breath. Past the flickering burn of the lighter a faint blue glow could be seen over the top of the shelves.
“We should go see what that is.” Sheldon breathed, softer than a whisper, as if trying not to disturb the silence surrounding them.
“Are you serious? You want to go towards the eerie light in the distance?” Penny whispered back.
“Well I suppose we could stay here until Wonder Woman runs out of fuel and we’re left with only our thoughts and whatever happens to be festering on the nearby detritus to accompany us.”
Penny paused. “You could use your cell phone and call someone to get us out of here.” She said slowly, trying not to ding his genius ego too hard.
She felt him shuffle his feet just behind hers. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Penny heard the rustle of cloth against skin as Sheldon dug around in the front pocket of his chinos. Then she heard another rustle as he checked the other pocket. She waited for him to check both back pockets before interrupting. “You left it on the charger again, didn’t you?”
Sheldon sniffed. “What about your phone?”
“It’s in my purse.”
“Where’s your purse?”
“In my car.”
“You left your purse in the car? Out in the open? Penny, someone could steal it!”
“Sheldon, anyone who’s looking in my car for something to steal is an idiot.”
“Oh, well that’s fine then, because thieves are never idiots.”
“You’re really getting the hang of sarcasm.”
“Thank you.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Investigate the light, as I had originally suggested.”
“Okay, but hang on.”
She hurried away, holding the lighter in front of her like a miniscule torch, before Sheldon could do more than sputter. Through the darkness he heard the sliding clang of metal scraping metal and Penny soon reemerged from the shadows, holding the sword from the suit of armor before her triumphantly. “Protection!”
“Good idea. Let me take the lighter.”
Penny looked questioningly down at Wonder Woman’s honorable face, cut in half where the lid of the zippo was flipped open. “But why?”
Sheldon plucked it from her fingers. “So you have a free hand.”
“Why do I need a free hand?” Penny asked as they began to walk towards the cash register.
Sheldon didn’t reply, instead holding the lighter in front of them both and fretfully tangling their fingers together, refusing to look over at her.
Penny ducked to hide her smile anyway, momentarily forgetting their offensive surroundings. They were almost to the comics when Sheldon tugged on her hand to stop her. He didn’t say anything but she followed the line of his arm as he let go of her hand and reached up to the top shelf, pulling down an antique kerosene lantern. He lit it silently, and handed her the lighter once he was done.
The metal was warm in her palm, and after she had slipped it into the back pocket of her jeans Sheldon once more took her hand in his.
Penny felt mildly ridiculous, yet slightly cool, holding a sword at the ready as they made their way through a shadowy collectibles shop. When they reached the desk at the back, however, she mostly felt scared. The blue light was emanating from a previously unnoticed door situated behind the cash register. As they watched; the rectangular outline widened faintly, the door scraping along the floor and groaning painfully as it did. The low, musty smell of rot that pervaded the entire store assaulted Penny’s nose with a new vehemence.
“I guess we’re going back there, huh?” Penny gave a pathetic attempt at a chuckle.
“You go first.” Sheldon replied, pulling her forward around the counter but not letting go of her hand.
Penny squawked indignantly and scuffled back to where she’d been. “Me? Why do I have to go first?”
“Because you have the sword.” Sheldon said, “D’you want to switch?”
Penny gripped the handle of the sword tighter. “No.”
“Then after you.” Sheldon made a wide gesture with the lantern and rolled his eyes. Penny scrunched her face up and stuck her tongue out at him as she shuffled past. Bending her left arm behind her and holding Sheldon’s hand firmly against her lower back, Penny crept through the open door, sword elevated and trembling slightly.
The blue glow was moonlight, streaming through a small broken window near the ceiling. “You think we could get out through there?” Penny asked, lowering her sword and trying to take a few steps forward, but the hand wrapped around hers held her back. “Sheldon?”
She turned around but stopped short of speaking. The shine of the lantern illuminated Sheldon’s pale face, the flickering reflection dancing across his wide, wet eyes. She followed his gaze and sucked in a revolted gasp.
A man, or what used to be a man, was slumped over in an office chair, his face buried in a Star Wars lunchbox. C3PO stared emotionlessly out at them from the lid, and the bones of one of the man’s hands lay beside the lunchbox on the desk, clenching a napkin tightly.
“Penny I don’t wanna be in here.” Sheldon said, quietly but urgent.
“Yeah.” Penny nodded, unable to tear her eyes from the figure at the desk. “Yeah, okay.”
They were turning to leave when the door to the office slammed shut, leaving them trapped inside. Sheldon released her and twisted at the doorknob with both hands, but it wouldn’t budge.
“Oh hell no.” Penny swung the sword around threateningly at the door. “Let us out!”
“Who are you talking to?” Sheldon asked frantically, backing away from the wavering sword tip.
“Whatever the hell just locked us in here.”
“Penny, are you suggesting-”
“Ghosts, Sheldon, spirits, whatever. Yes, I’m suggesting it.”
Sheldon sighed and looked down at his feet, as if they were the only other reasonable entities in the room, and shook his head, before trying to reason with her. “The fact that we are in a rather strange, atmospheric situation and there is a dead body in the room does not make it necessary to leap to such a laughable conclusion.”
“The fact that I’m holding a sword doesn’t make it necessary for you to be nice to me, Sheldon.” Penny said. “But I’d highly recommend it.” She smiled at him, baring her teeth, and slipped away to pick her way around the office.
“Penny, ghosts don’t exist.”
“I’ve got an aunt back home in Nebraska who hunts them for a living.” She replied over her shoulder.
“Of course you do.”
“Hey! Don’t mock Aunt Ellen. She’ll kick your ass.”
Sheldon watched as Penny snooped around the office, skimming through paperwork and examining the few framed photographs closely, deliberately avoiding the body slumped over the desk. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for clues.”
“Clues to what?”
“I’m trying to figure out why this guy,” she flicked her head towards the body without looking at it, “if it is this guy, is keeping us here.” Penny picked up a photograph and cocked her head.
“Penny, this man is not doing anything to us,” Sheldon said slowly, “because this man is dead.”
“Whatever, Moonpie. Nonbelievers are the first to go. Here check this out.” She brought the picture over to him. There were two people in tragically eighties clothing. A skinny young man with dark hair in a turquoise wind-breaker and a pretty, if overly-aquanetted, girl. “She look happy to you?”
“Not especially, no, but I’m not very good at interpreting facial expressions, Penny. You know that.”
“Whatever, just try your best. Now, does he look happy?”
Sheldon squinted down at the photo. “Yes?”
“Good. Yes, he does.” Penny moved to set the frame back on top of a file cabinet.
“Olivia.” Penny felt the whisper across her ear and down her jaw, and she shivered.
“Olivia? Who’s Olivia?”
“Penny.” That was Sheldon’s voice. That was Sheldon’s voice from all the way across the room. Penny suddenly felt very cold.
“Sheldon?”
“you left You left me left me, Olivia”
“Penny there’s something. There’s something behind you.” Sheldon’s voice was brittle and strangely clear.
“Sheldon, what kind of sword is this?” Penny asked, trying to keep her breathing steady. The frozen draft was once more slipping across her ear and she felt cold, lifeless hands settle around her hips.
“British.” Sheldon managed. “Mid fifteenth century. Penny, I don’t- Penny what do I do?”
Icy fingers splayed across Penny’s abdomen. “What’s it made out of?” Her hair was swept up off of her neck and a thousand prickling needles assaulted her skin.
“Penny?”
“The sword, Sheldon!”
“I-I don’t- Iron. Most likely iron.”
“Iron.” Penny took a deep breath. “That’s good.” She turned and sliced at the air. The frigid, flickering thing behind her screamed and dissipated.
Sheldon breathed out. “How did you do that?”
“Iron. It’s like their kryptonite. That and salt.”
“Ghosts.” Sheldon said, staring at her.
“Yes. Ghosts. If you’ll remember I suggested them earlier.”
“You did. You said there are ghosts and there are ghosts.” Sheldon sat down heavily on the floor.
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Sheldon. Now get up, ‘cause he’ll be back.”
“Shakespeare.” He said, still overcome. “Ghosts are real and you know Shakespeare.”
“I’m an actor. Of course I know Shakespeare. Now get up and help me look for salt.”
“Salt?”
“Kryptonite, remember?”
“Bat signal.” He mumbled, getting up and walking on shaky knees over to the desk. What Penny had assumed to just be random Batman and Bat signal figurines were, in fact, a set of salt and pepper shakers.
“Okay, it’s full, but it’s probably not enough for a circle.”
“A circle?”
“Yeah. You know, to stand in so it can’t get to us.”
“Stand in for how long? Do they go away in daylight? Is there a time limit? Do they become weak?”
“I don’t know, Sheldon!” Penny bit her bottom lip and looked at the salt in frustration. “Aunt Ellen, she used to tell me stories, but that was a long time ago, before Uncle Bill died and she moved away.”
Sheldon leaned against the desk wearily, setting the lantern down by his hip. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Me either.” Penny shifted on her feet uneasily. “I think I feel something.”
“It’s cold.” Sheldon agreed, standing straight once more and edging closer to Penny, searching for any sign of the ghost. She reached out to take his hand and he unthinkingly reached back. He had half a second’s warning, no more than a bitter blast of air in his eyes, before a powerful cold slammed into his chest and sent him flying back to crash against the wall.
“Sheldon!” Penny cried, racing towards him and carving the air with her sword. But there was nothing there, merely an indent of fingers in the flesh of Sheldon’s neck and Sheldon’s increasingly labored breathing as he struggled against the wall, over a foot from the ground.
“leave myStay away frommy Olivia alone”
“Let him go!” Penny screamed, and the ghost sputtered into existence, turning from Sheldon but keeping him pinned to the wall. She slashed the sword through the air without hesitation, shrinking back from the shrieking explosion of specter that followed.
Sheldon crumpled to the floor.
The sword clattered to the carpet and Penny dropped to her knees. “Sheldon?” She ran her fingers through his hair and tilted his head up. “Sheldon?” He blinked groggily up at her and opened his mouth. Nothing but a scraping gasp came out, and he tried again.
“Burns. It burns.” Sheldon rasped, fingertips tapping and dragging gingerly across his neck. The skin there did look red and raw, but Penny was more interested in his words.
“Burn.” Penny repeated, then continued slowly. “Salt and burn.”
Sheldon looked at her, uncomprehending, and swallowed thickly. He reached up to touch the hand supporting his head, but she was already moving away. “Penny, I don’t… I feel stra-”
“Hang on, Sheldon! I think I remember!”
She knocked the lid from the lantern, hissing as the hot metal seared her knuckles, and blew out the flame. Splashing the remaining kerosene over the corpse by moonlight, Penny scraped the stopper out of the Bat signal salt shaker and dumped the contents over the body as well. She was reaching for Wonder Woman, tucked into her back pocket when a strong, warm, human hand gripped her wrist and twisted it up behind her.
Penny cried out as she was thrust forward and bent over the desk. The person behind her bent over as well, leaning in to bury his nose in her hair and sniff. Penny shuddered and he moaned, leaning even closer and nuzzling her neck. “Sheldon?” Her voice was high and soft with disbelief, but then he whispered in her ear.
“Olivia”
“No.” Penny struggled harder, bucking back against him and throwing her weight to the side, but he held fast, wrapping another arm around her torso and lifting her up to slam her back down further up on the desk. Unable to reach the floor, her leverage was gone, and he’d trapped her free arm against her body with one of his own.
He draped himself across her back and began to speak in her ear; Sheldon’s familiar timbre was gone, replaced with something sharp and alien. “Why did you leave me?”
Penny clenched her jaw and turned her head away from the moist breath. She opened her eyes and jerked back at the sight of decaying flesh. The grip around her waist got tighter, and the voice continued on. “I gave you what you wanted. I gave you all that I had but you still left.”
“Let me go!” Penny thrashed against him. “I’m not your god damned girlfriend, asshole. I’m not Olivia!”
“You were everything to me!” He shouted over her protestations, pressing her harder into the desk. “You were everything, but you couldn’t be with a fucking freak like me!”
Penny cracked her head back into his jaw and rolled, wrenching her arm painfully but managing to break free. She dove from the desk and fumbled for the sword, scrambling backwards and raising it before he could get to her. Tears blurred her vision at the sight of the monster in her friend’s skin. His face was wrong, tight and controlled and disturbed like Sheldon’s never was. “Stay away from me.” She said, but it sounded weak even to her own ears. He advanced slowly.
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” He said, low and confident, smiling at the waver in her voice, the falter in the sword’s line as her hands shook. He took another step forward, and Penny, unable to harm Sheldon, let him brush the blade aside.
It clattered once more to the floor and Sheldon’s hand, strong and thin, was presented to her, palm up. She took a deep breath and settled her left hand in his right, allowing him to pull her to her feet.
“I knew you’d come back.” Sheldon’s crooked smile was gone, turned wicked and smug with someone else’s intent. “I knew you still loved me.”
Penny smiled sadly and shook her head, running the fingers of her left hand through his hair. “I’m not Olivia, sweetie. Olivia left you.”
His brief dark look was mollified by the fingers stroking down his neck and the arm coming up to wrap around his waist. “And you know what?”
He shook his head, looking down at her expectantly.
Penny leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t blame her.” With a snick and a scuff, she sent Wonder Woman sailing through the air towards the body.
His face contorted with shock and rage, but as soon as the corpse caught fire the air around them seemed to crackle with dissipating energy, and his eyes rolled up into his head as he collapsed into Penny’s arms.
She lowered Sheldon gently to the ground, cradling his head in her lap and stroking his hair back from his forehead.
He was beginning to come around, moaning and fluttering his eyelids, when the door to the office swung open with a resounding bang.
Two men rushed in, illuminated by the revived fluorescent lights of the main shop. The taller one held a beat-up can of lighter fluid, the other one a sawed-off shotgun. “Alright you son of a-” the shorter one paused at the sight of them and switched tactics, “pretty lady.” He settled the shotgun back against his shoulder with a smile and gave a little wave with his other hand. “Hey there.”
“Hi.” Penny said, looking back and forth between them.
“Hi.” The taller one said, with an awkward little wave of his own.
“Hi.” Sheldon piped up from Penny’s lap, looking at them all in confusion.
“Hi.” Sawed-off reiterated, still looking at Penny.
“Hi.” She said, not impressed with the look in his eye.
“Okay.” The Tall One said, flicking the hair from his eyes and looking at them apologetically. “This may sound weird, but have you guys seen anything… strange around here?”
“Like a psycho molesting nerd-ghost who likes to possess people?” Penny asked.
“Um, yes, actually.”
“Yeah, he’s toast.” Penny said, nonchalant.
“Oh.” He flicked his hair back again and traded a glance with the other guy. “Well I guess that’s… good, then.”
“Yeah.” Sawed-off nodded, eyeing the smoldering remains appreciatively. “Well done.”
“Is that all?” Penny asked, raising her eyebrows in universal get lost code.
“Oh! Yeah, We’re just gonna-” The Tall One hooked a finger in the collar of Sawed-off’s over-large leather jacket and tugged him along, “We’re gonna go, now. Bye”
“Bye!” Sawed-off called over his shoulder with an eyebrow waggle and a smirk.
“Penny?” Sheldon asked, head still resting in her lap.
“Yes?”
He looked down at the hand resting on his chest, tracing the red marks on her wrist with a finger. “He made me hurt you.”
She nodded, trailing her own fingers over the bruise forming on his jaw. “He made me hurt you.”
“Who were those men?”
“Ghost hunters, probably.”
“Like the Ghost Busters?”
She nodded.
“But with no slime.”
She shook her head.
“Penny?”
“What, sweetie?”
“Ghosts are real.”
“Yes, they are.”
“…Penny?”
“What?”
“I’m on the floor.”
She rolled her eyes and helped him to his feet.
~*~
~The End~
♥