(no subject)
sometimes i like to imagine a life changing event that would free me from responsibilities and in effect let me do whatever it is I truely want to do and ofcourse it would be something incredible and I would have to master it.
I just tried typing out the details of this fantasy -where something life changing happens- but then I scared myself. But basically the same question is why do I have to wait for some event to "start"my life or to do something that I think I'm supposed to do.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if i were still acting, would that make me happy? I think I am happy now but I can't say I'm fullfilled, but maybe if I ever admited to being fulfilled it would be admitting to defeat to a mediocore life. Ofcourse my life is just begining so all of that is really lame to say. A part of my identity ended after highschool when I ended acting, I feel like I could never relate to the theatre majors in my school now and nor would I want to try and neither is it important to. Sometimes I want to do improv, but I can't imagine if I'd be any good and I can't remember if I ever really was. But I do know it probably would be fun, its like a favorite game that I can't play. I want to play.
I just tried typing out the details of this fantasy -where something life changing happens- but then I scared myself. But basically the same question is why do I have to wait for some event to "start"my life or to do something that I think I'm supposed to do.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if i were still acting, would that make me happy? I think I am happy now but I can't say I'm fullfilled, but maybe if I ever admited to being fulfilled it would be admitting to defeat to a mediocore life. Ofcourse my life is just begining so all of that is really lame to say. A part of my identity ended after highschool when I ended acting, I feel like I could never relate to the theatre majors in my school now and nor would I want to try and neither is it important to. Sometimes I want to do improv, but I can't imagine if I'd be any good and I can't remember if I ever really was. But I do know it probably would be fun, its like a favorite game that I can't play. I want to play.