The 'roids
I dont care if his test results come back negative...barry bonds was on that juice. Here you have a dude who is world renown for his disdain for the media, his constant struggles with the media and after his personal trainer gets brought up on some steroid charges Barry Bonds is having a damn love in with this same media. He was on there smiling, answering and being and overrall good interview. He had witty quips a seemingly unforced repoire, something stinks in Denmark. And the stench is that of B bonds building up a relationship with the same media he pissed on for all these years. The very same media that shall save his ass if he does in fact come back with more steroids in his system than the'83 raiders. You heard it here first.
i went to lunch today, started thinking bout that damn antoine fisher, and began to cry again. I thought I was completely over not really knowing my dad or his family, but that damn movie brought it all back to me. Shit hurts. Same story many of my contemporaries in this United States have gone through. I recognize the reasons for it, I had even fooled myself into believing that I was a better person/man for not having him in my life. And while I am a good person, for the most part, and a decent man I still got a whole lotta shit with me. When I watched the movie the first time, Saturday night, I cryed for real. Not a manly tears coming down no noise, throat hurting cry. This was a whimpering sniveling shoulder shaking cry. I mean there was other things in it, seeing as how I havent cried in about 8 years now I was due for one. But I never saw this coming. ANd then today at lunch just outta the blue. Sitting at my solo table, reading "the five people you meet in heaven" it started again. I dont know where the thought came from, I dont even remember the first few tears. in fact my acceptance of the fact that i was indeed crying didnt come until I could no longer read the pages of the book. Funny how emotion works. Maybe this is all about me coming to terms with my age and the fact that in all reality I will more than likely be settling down with a family of my own. And me not wanting to relive the fallacies of my father. Or maybe its as simple as me wishing that he and I could have had ANY kind of relationship. Whatever the case may be I must be sure to never ever let any of my future seeds feel this way. And now I feel guilty, cause im all woe is me about my situation meanwhile there are folks with no parents, or even worse present parents who present a clear danger. life IS a bitch, but in the immortal words of that great poet nasir jones, "god forbid the bitch divorce me"
i went to lunch today, started thinking bout that damn antoine fisher, and began to cry again. I thought I was completely over not really knowing my dad or his family, but that damn movie brought it all back to me. Shit hurts. Same story many of my contemporaries in this United States have gone through. I recognize the reasons for it, I had even fooled myself into believing that I was a better person/man for not having him in my life. And while I am a good person, for the most part, and a decent man I still got a whole lotta shit with me. When I watched the movie the first time, Saturday night, I cryed for real. Not a manly tears coming down no noise, throat hurting cry. This was a whimpering sniveling shoulder shaking cry. I mean there was other things in it, seeing as how I havent cried in about 8 years now I was due for one. But I never saw this coming. ANd then today at lunch just outta the blue. Sitting at my solo table, reading "the five people you meet in heaven" it started again. I dont know where the thought came from, I dont even remember the first few tears. in fact my acceptance of the fact that i was indeed crying didnt come until I could no longer read the pages of the book. Funny how emotion works. Maybe this is all about me coming to terms with my age and the fact that in all reality I will more than likely be settling down with a family of my own. And me not wanting to relive the fallacies of my father. Or maybe its as simple as me wishing that he and I could have had ANY kind of relationship. Whatever the case may be I must be sure to never ever let any of my future seeds feel this way. And now I feel guilty, cause im all woe is me about my situation meanwhile there are folks with no parents, or even worse present parents who present a clear danger. life IS a bitch, but in the immortal words of that great poet nasir jones, "god forbid the bitch divorce me"