i know, i know, i feel the same as you...
i'm so pessimistic. so effing pessimistic. it's a real problem. also, my mother was talking about not taking the Lord's name in vain last time i was home, so i'm working on it. and i'm also working on avoiding that word that begins with f. it's just so not lady-like. i think i need to purge myself of this negative mindset. PURGE i say.
conversation between me and the roommate
me: how do you talk to someone who intimidates you?
her: you should be calm, cool, and collected.
me: I AM NONE OF THOSE THINGS.
she should know that by now.
it's so hard for me to be friendly. i'm a much more friendly drunk than i am sober person. not that i'm advocating getting drunk in order to talk to someone you like or whatever because it very likely would end up like the speech the guy gives in "the other sister." it's also not very convenient for people you run into during the week or in the middle of the day. it's also not very convenient because after that apo party, i never want to taste PJ or aristocrat EVER again... actually any red alcoholic drink makes me cringe.
i'm just a little upset because i'm so stressed and need a break but i can't because i have to study and write papers and do laundry and and sit in a crowded car for a lot of hours and i just want to go to a baseball game or lay on a blanket outside on a warm day and talk about happy things or fall asleep or watch a play just to enjoy it and read a book without having to write a paper on it and look at art and not have to analyze every little aspect of it and draw and listen to beautiful music and play the cello and meet someone new and exciting to talk to for hours who will remember my name, who will not forget about me, who i leave an impression on.
i'm just tired of being scared of everything.
conversation between me and the roommate
me: how do you talk to someone who intimidates you?
her: you should be calm, cool, and collected.
me: I AM NONE OF THOSE THINGS.
she should know that by now.
it's so hard for me to be friendly. i'm a much more friendly drunk than i am sober person. not that i'm advocating getting drunk in order to talk to someone you like or whatever because it very likely would end up like the speech the guy gives in "the other sister." it's also not very convenient for people you run into during the week or in the middle of the day. it's also not very convenient because after that apo party, i never want to taste PJ or aristocrat EVER again... actually any red alcoholic drink makes me cringe.
i'm just a little upset because i'm so stressed and need a break but i can't because i have to study and write papers and do laundry and and sit in a crowded car for a lot of hours and i just want to go to a baseball game or lay on a blanket outside on a warm day and talk about happy things or fall asleep or watch a play just to enjoy it and read a book without having to write a paper on it and look at art and not have to analyze every little aspect of it and draw and listen to beautiful music and play the cello and meet someone new and exciting to talk to for hours who will remember my name, who will not forget about me, who i leave an impression on.
i'm just tired of being scared of everything.