people tell me i need to gain confidence...well tell me how the hell you do that
for lent i gave up saying bad things about myself in taking steps toward loving myself. well, lord knows i have been doing a really crappy job of keeping that.
people say that i see all my negative things and none of my good things...well, i try and try to see my "good things". and i still can't find any.
i see him and everything he does. and i think "man, he's amazing. he's the strongest human being i've ever met. he can stand sooo much and he never lets anything bog him down. he's gone through so much, yet he's still here going strong as ever." and i think how i'm nothing like that. how i wish i could be like that, cuz the truth is, i do let things bog me down. and i give excuses. and i let things hurt me.
but i promise, i do search inside myself looking for my "good things". and i still can't find a speck of a good enough reason why he loves me. i can't think of one good reason why he should be in love with me.
but he is. and it' about time i accept that.
being in love. that's what every girl dreams about. and i have it. why is it so hard for me to absorb? why is it so hard for me to believe that he loves me and that i make him happy? i know that he loves me. i just can't think of a damn good reason why. i can't think of a damn good reason why he chose me.
i wish i could see.
i wish i had real confidence. not the fake stuff i go around using on people.
you wanted to know what's wrong. well here it is:
the truth is...i'm weak. you're strong. you're right and i'm wrong. and i want to love myself but i don't know how and i hate not knowing how. i get so frustrated with myself, b/c i know that it makes you unhappy and i don't know how to fix it. i wish i could see what you see. i wish i could find a damn good enough reason of why you care about me. i wish i felt good enough. i wish i had your strength. you're everything that i'm not and i wish i was like you...
there it is...
people say that i see all my negative things and none of my good things...well, i try and try to see my "good things". and i still can't find any.
i see him and everything he does. and i think "man, he's amazing. he's the strongest human being i've ever met. he can stand sooo much and he never lets anything bog him down. he's gone through so much, yet he's still here going strong as ever." and i think how i'm nothing like that. how i wish i could be like that, cuz the truth is, i do let things bog me down. and i give excuses. and i let things hurt me.
but i promise, i do search inside myself looking for my "good things". and i still can't find a speck of a good enough reason why he loves me. i can't think of one good reason why he should be in love with me.
but he is. and it' about time i accept that.
being in love. that's what every girl dreams about. and i have it. why is it so hard for me to absorb? why is it so hard for me to believe that he loves me and that i make him happy? i know that he loves me. i just can't think of a damn good reason why. i can't think of a damn good reason why he chose me.
i wish i could see.
i wish i had real confidence. not the fake stuff i go around using on people.
you wanted to know what's wrong. well here it is:
the truth is...i'm weak. you're strong. you're right and i'm wrong. and i want to love myself but i don't know how and i hate not knowing how. i get so frustrated with myself, b/c i know that it makes you unhappy and i don't know how to fix it. i wish i could see what you see. i wish i could find a damn good enough reason of why you care about me. i wish i felt good enough. i wish i had your strength. you're everything that i'm not and i wish i was like you...
there it is...