(no subject)
Some of my worst fears are the most irrational. And unfortunatly for me they arent the kind you can just face head on and get rid of. The only way to face them is to live our the rest of my life and see what happens, which I think are the worst kind of fears to have.
You can buck up and make good choices all your life but in the end it has to have meant something. It has to have have been for a reason.
I have to accomplish something to be abel to look at myself when im old and not hate myself. I could do anything, I really could. I am all that stops me but even if I were to conquer the world I couldnt die a happy man. As much as knowing my life has already been planned out helps me to make decisions, I think I couldnt hate not knowing that plan anymore than I do. As much as I hate predicting the future I fear that serving my purpose takes me on a direct collision course with those fears.
You can buck up and make good choices all your life but in the end it has to have meant something. It has to have have been for a reason.
I have to accomplish something to be abel to look at myself when im old and not hate myself. I could do anything, I really could. I am all that stops me but even if I were to conquer the world I couldnt die a happy man. As much as knowing my life has already been planned out helps me to make decisions, I think I couldnt hate not knowing that plan anymore than I do. As much as I hate predicting the future I fear that serving my purpose takes me on a direct collision course with those fears.