Her Diary, But It's All About You [1/?]
Title: Her Diary, But It's All About You
Author: eejhan
Pairing: JongKey intended for the whole series
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Teen Angst, Humor
Word count: 2,087 words
Summary: Lizann spends more time with SHINee, and thus opening up the topic about the boys with Jonghyun.
This is Chapter 1, with Prologue already posted. Comments are very much appreciated. (:
September 9th 2009
Dear Diary,
I met Hyun for dinner today again, I guess we can only meet for dinner if he is picking me up from school because it would only cause too much commotion if he were to come in the afternoon or send me to school after breakfast. After the meet with SHINee members that day, I think he is more comfortable with talking about work since I know them already.
"Zann, do you remember Key? What do you think about him?" Hyun asked me this question during dessert, and so many thoughts ran through my head. "Why, do you want to set him and me up?" I joked. I know this isn't what he meant; he probably wants to know what I think of him, really.
"Nothing of that sort, I know you hate set-ups. I mean, he's really nice, and you know, I think I can connect with him a lot." Hyun looked thoughtful, and continued stirring his ice cream. I was a little shocked at his thoughts, was he…? Ah never mind.
"Hyun, your ice-cream is about to be come milkshake." I nudged him as he was still in his far-away dreamland. "Oh my!" He hurriedly finishes the leftover ice cream, fearing that they would melt further.
"Do you like Key, Hyun? Don't reject the thought, think over it for awhile." I looked at how he almost spit out the ice cream in his mouth as I talked about his. He has that kind of instantaneous reactions stored in the back of his head that makes him do weird stuff all the time. But, I love his randomness.
And wow, I could really recall all the weird stuff he did one by one because he really took his time in thinking about it. But by observing, he really looked torn thinking about whether he likes Key or not.
"Honestly, I don't know. This doesn't seem quite right, right? I mean we are both guys." Hyun looked so disturbed by his thoughts. He's very pure in his thinking in some ways, so usually we avoid this kind of complicating talks. But I guess, I have to ask him about this, and help him with figuring out stuff like this.
"Maybe, you could take time to think about it. I mean, if you asked me about him, I guess there's something there? But oh well, if you figure out what you want and he's not part of the blueprint of your life... Can I have him?" I grinned at him and watched his facial expression change when I said that last sentence. I totally cracked up at that; his facial expressions have always been epic.
Our dinner was cut short because of too much commotion at our table and resulting in fan attention. Thank goodness we were in an area we knew very well and split paths to meet up at the car park a little later.
"Sorry, the fans are a little aggressive. Can you imagine, they asked me for Key's number! I mean, at least have the courtesy to..." Hyun kept on nagging, and I just listened to him. At least I have more stuff to think about when I get home.
But Hyun, you would never know that I only said that to watch that expression. I really only want to be with you, if you would ever know that.
September 10 2009
Dear Diary,
Hyun called just now during class, saying it was the only time available for him to call me,
"Zann, we are going to have an outing tomorrow, I forgot to tell you yesterday. Are you free? Do you want to come?" Hyun sounded a little tired and rushed though his speech; he probably really didn't have time.
"I don't know, talk tonight? Or are you not free?"
"I may be finishing late, I don't want you to stay up to wait for me to call. Tell you what; I'll just pick you up. You don't have anything on right?" Hyun was in his "I-don't-care" mode, and this made me frown a little. I mean, even though he's a male chauvinist and that's cute, but his "This is not a question" attitude gets to me sometimes. And while thinking about that, I guess I was a little too quiet.
“Are you alright? Why are you so quiet?” Hyun asked, concerned. “Nothing, I need to get back to class, Miss Soo-In is staring at me already. Yeah I’ll finish at 6 tomorrow, 7pm shall be safe. Gate 7?” I guess it would be nice to know more about the SHINee members as well, and not to put Hyun in a spot as well.
“Alright, see you tomorrow then. Want to meet for dinner?”
“Are you really that free? After yesterday’s incident, don’t you want to keep things low for a moment? You don’t know what fans may say when they see you out with me for too many times. I don’t want you to get into anything that will ruin your career.” I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Being agitated, I got a little too loud and attracted attention in class.
“Are you angry? Are you okay?” Hyun finally got it that I’m quite unhappy. “Nope I’m alright, I really need to go now.” I hurriedly hung up the phone.
“Han Lizann, may I know who were you talking to? So important that you have to shout in the middle of the class?” Miss Soo-In was obviously displeased, but I couldn’t tell her that I was talking to Hyun; that would get us into trouble. Nobody knew we were that close.
Then a new message came in. It was Hyun.
Sender: Hyunnie (: (:
Message: Zann, I’ll come pick you up later after school okay, I’ll see you Gate 7 at 8pm or so, depending on what time recording ends. We’ll go back to the dorm. Key’s cooking tonight, his cooking is awesome. (: Smile okay, talk later.
I didn’t want to reply him. But I know I will still wait for him.
*Edit 12.24am
Dear Diary,
Hyun just sent me back. Yeah I met him still. Recording dragged a little and he came at around 9pm. The ride was quite grueling, he kept asking what’s wrong but I don’t want to tell him. If I told him I was unhappy at his attitude, then he won’t be that caring towards me already.
“Okay, we have to sort this out. No point carrying on when we are all going back with an unhappy face,” Hyun reached his maximum already, and I know that is when we have to talk properly.
Actually I really don’t know what I am unhappy about, maybe it’s not even about him being too male chauvinistic. Maybe, I’m unhappy that he’s too close to me.
“Nothing, I’m having my period. Do I always have to put it across so bluntly?” I said jokingly, rolling my eyes. Hyun’s face immediately turned red. Well I wasn’t lying; I’m really having it now.
“I thought it’s on the 9th? Oh, it’s the 10th already. Oh my I’m really working too much huh?” Hyun was a little embarrassed. “Alright, I guess we are done right? Let’s go!”
“Of course, I told you at first already! See, why do you not believe me?” I joking smacked his well-toned arms. “Owwwwwwwwwwww! Why are your muscles that hard!”
He laughed and said that I deserved it. I love his laughter, and for that, I guess I just have to hide it further, and not let him see that I actually loved him. Friends would be good.
Arrived at SHINee’s dorm and everyone was already expecting us at the table. Feel so guilty, must have been that talk that dragged time longer. Everyone said hi and we started eating. Man, Key really cooks very well! And he looks friendlier today; he even attended to me personally at the table! I was feeling a little guilty though, because I don’t know how do I react to this. Hyun smiled and laughed a lot during the dinner, but I caught him looking over a few times when Key and I are talking and such. Well, I don’t know how to feel, really. Is he looking at me, or Key?
After dinner, Key pulled me to the balcony when the rest was in the living room and Hyun was cutting fruits for everyone. I was quite shocked, but I would like to hear what he had to say too.
“Lizann, you like Jjong right?” The first words that came out of Key’s mouth shocked me so much that I couldn’t react to it. “…Jjong? Oh, that’s what you call Hyun, is it?” I tried to change the topic but it didn’t work.
“Don’t change the topic, is my guess right?” Key looks a little flustered, as Hyun could pop by any moment. I did not know what to say. How could he have guessed by these two meetings?
“Don’t try to deny, I can feel it. I’m very sensitive when it comes to stuff like this.” Key was very confident about deciphering how I feel, and I guess that’s when I could not hide it in anymore.
“Yes, you are right, I like Hyun. And it is not easy.” I sighed and leaned against the balcony, looking up at the sky. “Hyun is nice, but he is nice to everyone. So somehow, I don’t know what that makes me.”
“But, both of you are so close. Nothing happened through this 3 years of friendship for you?” Key was a little cautious; I guess he’s afraid that he would hurt me.
“Nope, we always bickered in class, and we are seen as the most horrible pair of partners. The classroom was always filled with our voice, and no one thought we could get along so well like we do. We just love to let others think that way, but we really are very good friends in private. Really good friends.” I laughed with self-pity at how much I could still remember of the memories I had with Hyun. Key just stood and listened intently, and it actually felt kind of nice.
“Wow, but, you are a girl, and you’re quite pretty as well, why didn’t anything happen?” Key voiced his thoughts, sounding really confused. I laughed, “There’s no such thing as stuff must happen between two really close guy and girl friends! Although, some stuff already happened on my side. I guess, I’m just not his type.”
A long silence was shared between the both of us before Key took a big sigh. “Actually, I think I like Jjong.” He caught me by surprise again, but then again, thinking about it, there were signs in this two meetings that we had.
“Oh my… What do you plan to do?” I was really concerned for him, not really for Hyun though, because he would really know what to do.
“I don’t know, I mean, it’s weird right, like I am having this kind of feelings. We are really close after SHINee started because we used to share a dorm together before we all stayed in this place. Yesterday when he brought you, I felt really jealous. Like, really jealous. Don’t you feel it? I’m sorry I was so rude yesterday.” Key sounded really confused. I patted him on the back.
“Its okay, I don’t mind. Now it makes sense, ha-ha.” I gave him a smile and said this jokingly. “I guess, Hyun is just too nice right?”
Key smiled and nodded. “It was nice talking to you about this. Finally I could get this out. Can we be friends still?”
“What are you talking about, of course we are friends!” I reassured him. I guess we all needed someone to let us get this out of our minds.
“What are you two doing? Have some fruits outside!” Hyun barged in, and smiled cheekily at us. Oh my, I hope he did not hear anything! From what he looked like, he sure doesn’t know anything.
The night ended pleasantly after the fruits and a hearty chatting session. Key and I secretly exchanged numbers and agreed we will have more chat sessions as friends. Hyun sent me home and kept asking what did Key and I say at the balcony. I joked around and shrugged it off. I hope this means he did not hear anything.
Cause I really still want to keep this friendship.
Author: eejhan
Pairing: JongKey intended for the whole series
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Teen Angst, Humor
Word count: 2,087 words
Summary: Lizann spends more time with SHINee, and thus opening up the topic about the boys with Jonghyun.
This is Chapter 1, with Prologue already posted. Comments are very much appreciated. (:
September 9th 2009
Dear Diary,
I met Hyun for dinner today again, I guess we can only meet for dinner if he is picking me up from school because it would only cause too much commotion if he were to come in the afternoon or send me to school after breakfast. After the meet with SHINee members that day, I think he is more comfortable with talking about work since I know them already.
"Zann, do you remember Key? What do you think about him?" Hyun asked me this question during dessert, and so many thoughts ran through my head. "Why, do you want to set him and me up?" I joked. I know this isn't what he meant; he probably wants to know what I think of him, really.
"Nothing of that sort, I know you hate set-ups. I mean, he's really nice, and you know, I think I can connect with him a lot." Hyun looked thoughtful, and continued stirring his ice cream. I was a little shocked at his thoughts, was he…? Ah never mind.
"Hyun, your ice-cream is about to be come milkshake." I nudged him as he was still in his far-away dreamland. "Oh my!" He hurriedly finishes the leftover ice cream, fearing that they would melt further.
"Do you like Key, Hyun? Don't reject the thought, think over it for awhile." I looked at how he almost spit out the ice cream in his mouth as I talked about his. He has that kind of instantaneous reactions stored in the back of his head that makes him do weird stuff all the time. But, I love his randomness.
And wow, I could really recall all the weird stuff he did one by one because he really took his time in thinking about it. But by observing, he really looked torn thinking about whether he likes Key or not.
"Honestly, I don't know. This doesn't seem quite right, right? I mean we are both guys." Hyun looked so disturbed by his thoughts. He's very pure in his thinking in some ways, so usually we avoid this kind of complicating talks. But I guess, I have to ask him about this, and help him with figuring out stuff like this.
"Maybe, you could take time to think about it. I mean, if you asked me about him, I guess there's something there? But oh well, if you figure out what you want and he's not part of the blueprint of your life... Can I have him?" I grinned at him and watched his facial expression change when I said that last sentence. I totally cracked up at that; his facial expressions have always been epic.
Our dinner was cut short because of too much commotion at our table and resulting in fan attention. Thank goodness we were in an area we knew very well and split paths to meet up at the car park a little later.
"Sorry, the fans are a little aggressive. Can you imagine, they asked me for Key's number! I mean, at least have the courtesy to..." Hyun kept on nagging, and I just listened to him. At least I have more stuff to think about when I get home.
But Hyun, you would never know that I only said that to watch that expression. I really only want to be with you, if you would ever know that.
September 10 2009
Dear Diary,
Hyun called just now during class, saying it was the only time available for him to call me,
"Zann, we are going to have an outing tomorrow, I forgot to tell you yesterday. Are you free? Do you want to come?" Hyun sounded a little tired and rushed though his speech; he probably really didn't have time.
"I don't know, talk tonight? Or are you not free?"
"I may be finishing late, I don't want you to stay up to wait for me to call. Tell you what; I'll just pick you up. You don't have anything on right?" Hyun was in his "I-don't-care" mode, and this made me frown a little. I mean, even though he's a male chauvinist and that's cute, but his "This is not a question" attitude gets to me sometimes. And while thinking about that, I guess I was a little too quiet.
“Are you alright? Why are you so quiet?” Hyun asked, concerned. “Nothing, I need to get back to class, Miss Soo-In is staring at me already. Yeah I’ll finish at 6 tomorrow, 7pm shall be safe. Gate 7?” I guess it would be nice to know more about the SHINee members as well, and not to put Hyun in a spot as well.
“Alright, see you tomorrow then. Want to meet for dinner?”
“Are you really that free? After yesterday’s incident, don’t you want to keep things low for a moment? You don’t know what fans may say when they see you out with me for too many times. I don’t want you to get into anything that will ruin your career.” I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Being agitated, I got a little too loud and attracted attention in class.
“Are you angry? Are you okay?” Hyun finally got it that I’m quite unhappy. “Nope I’m alright, I really need to go now.” I hurriedly hung up the phone.
“Han Lizann, may I know who were you talking to? So important that you have to shout in the middle of the class?” Miss Soo-In was obviously displeased, but I couldn’t tell her that I was talking to Hyun; that would get us into trouble. Nobody knew we were that close.
Then a new message came in. It was Hyun.
Sender: Hyunnie (: (:
Message: Zann, I’ll come pick you up later after school okay, I’ll see you Gate 7 at 8pm or so, depending on what time recording ends. We’ll go back to the dorm. Key’s cooking tonight, his cooking is awesome. (: Smile okay, talk later.
I didn’t want to reply him. But I know I will still wait for him.
*Edit 12.24am
Dear Diary,
Hyun just sent me back. Yeah I met him still. Recording dragged a little and he came at around 9pm. The ride was quite grueling, he kept asking what’s wrong but I don’t want to tell him. If I told him I was unhappy at his attitude, then he won’t be that caring towards me already.
“Okay, we have to sort this out. No point carrying on when we are all going back with an unhappy face,” Hyun reached his maximum already, and I know that is when we have to talk properly.
Actually I really don’t know what I am unhappy about, maybe it’s not even about him being too male chauvinistic. Maybe, I’m unhappy that he’s too close to me.
“Nothing, I’m having my period. Do I always have to put it across so bluntly?” I said jokingly, rolling my eyes. Hyun’s face immediately turned red. Well I wasn’t lying; I’m really having it now.
“I thought it’s on the 9th? Oh, it’s the 10th already. Oh my I’m really working too much huh?” Hyun was a little embarrassed. “Alright, I guess we are done right? Let’s go!”
“Of course, I told you at first already! See, why do you not believe me?” I joking smacked his well-toned arms. “Owwwwwwwwwwww! Why are your muscles that hard!”
He laughed and said that I deserved it. I love his laughter, and for that, I guess I just have to hide it further, and not let him see that I actually loved him. Friends would be good.
Arrived at SHINee’s dorm and everyone was already expecting us at the table. Feel so guilty, must have been that talk that dragged time longer. Everyone said hi and we started eating. Man, Key really cooks very well! And he looks friendlier today; he even attended to me personally at the table! I was feeling a little guilty though, because I don’t know how do I react to this. Hyun smiled and laughed a lot during the dinner, but I caught him looking over a few times when Key and I are talking and such. Well, I don’t know how to feel, really. Is he looking at me, or Key?
After dinner, Key pulled me to the balcony when the rest was in the living room and Hyun was cutting fruits for everyone. I was quite shocked, but I would like to hear what he had to say too.
“Lizann, you like Jjong right?” The first words that came out of Key’s mouth shocked me so much that I couldn’t react to it. “…Jjong? Oh, that’s what you call Hyun, is it?” I tried to change the topic but it didn’t work.
“Don’t change the topic, is my guess right?” Key looks a little flustered, as Hyun could pop by any moment. I did not know what to say. How could he have guessed by these two meetings?
“Don’t try to deny, I can feel it. I’m very sensitive when it comes to stuff like this.” Key was very confident about deciphering how I feel, and I guess that’s when I could not hide it in anymore.
“Yes, you are right, I like Hyun. And it is not easy.” I sighed and leaned against the balcony, looking up at the sky. “Hyun is nice, but he is nice to everyone. So somehow, I don’t know what that makes me.”
“But, both of you are so close. Nothing happened through this 3 years of friendship for you?” Key was a little cautious; I guess he’s afraid that he would hurt me.
“Nope, we always bickered in class, and we are seen as the most horrible pair of partners. The classroom was always filled with our voice, and no one thought we could get along so well like we do. We just love to let others think that way, but we really are very good friends in private. Really good friends.” I laughed with self-pity at how much I could still remember of the memories I had with Hyun. Key just stood and listened intently, and it actually felt kind of nice.
“Wow, but, you are a girl, and you’re quite pretty as well, why didn’t anything happen?” Key voiced his thoughts, sounding really confused. I laughed, “There’s no such thing as stuff must happen between two really close guy and girl friends! Although, some stuff already happened on my side. I guess, I’m just not his type.”
A long silence was shared between the both of us before Key took a big sigh. “Actually, I think I like Jjong.” He caught me by surprise again, but then again, thinking about it, there were signs in this two meetings that we had.
“Oh my… What do you plan to do?” I was really concerned for him, not really for Hyun though, because he would really know what to do.
“I don’t know, I mean, it’s weird right, like I am having this kind of feelings. We are really close after SHINee started because we used to share a dorm together before we all stayed in this place. Yesterday when he brought you, I felt really jealous. Like, really jealous. Don’t you feel it? I’m sorry I was so rude yesterday.” Key sounded really confused. I patted him on the back.
“Its okay, I don’t mind. Now it makes sense, ha-ha.” I gave him a smile and said this jokingly. “I guess, Hyun is just too nice right?”
Key smiled and nodded. “It was nice talking to you about this. Finally I could get this out. Can we be friends still?”
“What are you talking about, of course we are friends!” I reassured him. I guess we all needed someone to let us get this out of our minds.
“What are you two doing? Have some fruits outside!” Hyun barged in, and smiled cheekily at us. Oh my, I hope he did not hear anything! From what he looked like, he sure doesn’t know anything.
The night ended pleasantly after the fruits and a hearty chatting session. Key and I secretly exchanged numbers and agreed we will have more chat sessions as friends. Hyun sent me home and kept asking what did Key and I say at the balcony. I joked around and shrugged it off. I hope this means he did not hear anything.
Cause I really still want to keep this friendship.