Connections
hmmm well i believe one form of inteligence is connections. Having the ability to absorb an unknown and connect it, and express it.
today was a heavy day to me... i didnt know what i was doing. it was unplanned out, and unthought about, kind of drifting and just simply letting the time pass.....my mission this year is to not just give up time anymore. time is a precious commodity, and im sorry but money is a need. You cannot be without. Love is a need, at least of mine.... and in return need eachother, money with outlove is selfish and one minded..... love without money is a struggle. Personally to me... id rather have love then money. But either way getting back to good old/new precious time. Time for me is going to be spent smart. Not stupid. I have learned, what i have learned is with time passing what was important at 7, i dont really remember, i know my family was. I remember some of the fears and now i look back and it really wasnt anything, i remeember being truely terrified. i am a gooood person, i wouldnt want to ever intentionally hurt another human being on this earth for some need of mine, and that is why i want to do the right thing, get ahead the right way (threw struggle) prove it... im nice.... im not going to let anyone tell me different..... yeah people are intended to have there own thoughts of me... go ahead tell me, maybe i can learn what my faults are... let them......no evil is going to tear me down.
mmm all seriuos in this journal entry, but fer real, its odd how color HAS come back in my life and magically people have been giving me crystals. Crystal are nice and pritty. brings people together. I set them around my room. hehe acyually im listening to Crysral Suite by Steven Halphern. Its soo calming. I feel like light little snoke flackes outside... oo let me check (brb).. Ha no its not snowing but there is my old ugly garage. Its probable the uglest gargarge in the world... well maybe not the uglyset .. but its white and black (no color) and there is snow which makes it even more uncolorful. its dark out cuz its 3, and over it stand my enormous tree which right now has no leaves, the sky is above it with no stars and the moon is just normal. But when i think of my back yard and look it, my past crashes into face, and its like the elphant in the room wher eyou just cant overlook it. Ive stood and sat for hours on my garage in a comfertable state just sitting with the my trees green branches hiding over us so that we can see when noone else can, we can observe the townboys club and make funny noises and wouldnt know where the heck it came from... hehe :O) not somone having bad intentions, ill tell you that much. Not like a bum or something. That would i would think now. hehe
See when ever I do something I consider my babbbby. I want it to work out between us sooo bad, i will i just need to have faith and trust... it will... it will... it will... i mean it might not who knows its like the saying... but i can just see us in the future and that gives me direction. I know that i love you and i just want to do everyuthing with you... i want to experience everything with you. I would love to just leave and do what we want. I meen once i get this job, in 6 weeks, i am ok to do start saving. Maybe next year you and I can leave.... leave... something new.... explore.... go to the desert, (dont ask why that just came to mind) but i like natural settings and i knooooow you do too... like i want to collect rocks. We NEEEd to go to School but who says we cant go a semester if we neeed to take of the next work go back as long as we stay on the right road, stay away from drugs or shit that can fuck us up, stay on the right road but still do what we want... i dont see where we can go wrong... I meen yeah we can stay here and do the same thing and do exactly what my mom says But i know whats right and im right were right... we can do it. Rocks and watching you dance and doing hair and working in casinos o yeah and cant forget LEARNING(get back to that in a sec) what i just listes to somee people just wouldnt appeal .... but it soooo does. and Ok with learning.... it may be corny to say learning right off the bat you think school and that learning was dumb. didnt learn anything but disiplne i beleve. Yes you need it in this world... ahh im stuck.. I dont know where i am trying to go with this.... but like disipline is needed like the negative stuff which it is it truely is but you need it to be happy for love or there a struggle. Although id pick love or anything else... i dont see how anyone else wouldnt choose that... but they do and they are selfisha and i think worse off then us who do have love. I meen with out money its like the east side.. complete chaos... i think yuou need an equal balance.
today was a heavy day to me... i didnt know what i was doing. it was unplanned out, and unthought about, kind of drifting and just simply letting the time pass.....my mission this year is to not just give up time anymore. time is a precious commodity, and im sorry but money is a need. You cannot be without. Love is a need, at least of mine.... and in return need eachother, money with outlove is selfish and one minded..... love without money is a struggle. Personally to me... id rather have love then money. But either way getting back to good old/new precious time. Time for me is going to be spent smart. Not stupid. I have learned, what i have learned is with time passing what was important at 7, i dont really remember, i know my family was. I remember some of the fears and now i look back and it really wasnt anything, i remeember being truely terrified. i am a gooood person, i wouldnt want to ever intentionally hurt another human being on this earth for some need of mine, and that is why i want to do the right thing, get ahead the right way (threw struggle) prove it... im nice.... im not going to let anyone tell me different..... yeah people are intended to have there own thoughts of me... go ahead tell me, maybe i can learn what my faults are... let them......no evil is going to tear me down.
mmm all seriuos in this journal entry, but fer real, its odd how color HAS come back in my life and magically people have been giving me crystals. Crystal are nice and pritty. brings people together. I set them around my room. hehe acyually im listening to Crysral Suite by Steven Halphern. Its soo calming. I feel like light little snoke flackes outside... oo let me check (brb).. Ha no its not snowing but there is my old ugly garage. Its probable the uglest gargarge in the world... well maybe not the uglyset .. but its white and black (no color) and there is snow which makes it even more uncolorful. its dark out cuz its 3, and over it stand my enormous tree which right now has no leaves, the sky is above it with no stars and the moon is just normal. But when i think of my back yard and look it, my past crashes into face, and its like the elphant in the room wher eyou just cant overlook it. Ive stood and sat for hours on my garage in a comfertable state just sitting with the my trees green branches hiding over us so that we can see when noone else can, we can observe the townboys club and make funny noises and wouldnt know where the heck it came from... hehe :O) not somone having bad intentions, ill tell you that much. Not like a bum or something. That would i would think now. hehe
See when ever I do something I consider my babbbby. I want it to work out between us sooo bad, i will i just need to have faith and trust... it will... it will... it will... i mean it might not who knows its like the saying... but i can just see us in the future and that gives me direction. I know that i love you and i just want to do everyuthing with you... i want to experience everything with you. I would love to just leave and do what we want. I meen once i get this job, in 6 weeks, i am ok to do start saving. Maybe next year you and I can leave.... leave... something new.... explore.... go to the desert, (dont ask why that just came to mind) but i like natural settings and i knooooow you do too... like i want to collect rocks. We NEEEd to go to School but who says we cant go a semester if we neeed to take of the next work go back as long as we stay on the right road, stay away from drugs or shit that can fuck us up, stay on the right road but still do what we want... i dont see where we can go wrong... I meen yeah we can stay here and do the same thing and do exactly what my mom says But i know whats right and im right were right... we can do it. Rocks and watching you dance and doing hair and working in casinos o yeah and cant forget LEARNING(get back to that in a sec) what i just listes to somee people just wouldnt appeal .... but it soooo does. and Ok with learning.... it may be corny to say learning right off the bat you think school and that learning was dumb. didnt learn anything but disiplne i beleve. Yes you need it in this world... ahh im stuck.. I dont know where i am trying to go with this.... but like disipline is needed like the negative stuff which it is it truely is but you need it to be happy for love or there a struggle. Although id pick love or anything else... i dont see how anyone else wouldnt choose that... but they do and they are selfisha and i think worse off then us who do have love. I meen with out money its like the east side.. complete chaos... i think yuou need an equal balance.