(no subject)
I woke up gasping. How was I going to convince Mom to let me stay home?
"Mom, maybe I’ll stay home today. You’re supposed to be let out, and I’ll stay and help."
"No honey, school ends in two days, and you have that Latin exam you studied hard for. Besides, it’s a half day."
I tried to argue, but she got very irritated.
"Addy, that’s enough! You’re going to school. End of story."
I didn’t feel like getting her blood pressure up, so I kept quiet.
As usual, Erica was waiting for me in the reception area. Her hair had been dyed black with blue streaks.
I raised an eyebrow. "What’s with the new do? The pink actually suited you."
She fluffed her hair. "Black is my natural hair color. I washed the pink dye out. But I didn’t like plain black hair. It’s so . . . your style. So, to spice it up, I added blue streaks."
"My style? What’s that supposed to mean?"
She laughed, and then her tone became mockingly solemn; her blue eyes widened gravely. "Well grasshopper, your style is so normal. I like to stand out."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Come on, we’ll be late."
We walked to school, debating the pros and cons of her style compared to mine.
"Now, let’s see who does the best on the Latin exam." She pushed the classroom door open and took her seat.
The teacher walked in. "You have an hour to complete this examination. You may begin."
I looked at my paper and tried hard to remember everything from our review games. When the hour was up, I felt confident I had done a nice job.
Since it was a half day, we had one more class (History), and then we headed home.
"Addy, I got this cool CD by Missing. I can take my headphones out of the CD player and we can listen to it while we walk. That is, if you want to."
"Erica, that’ll be great."
She pulled out her black CD player and hit "play." We listened to the music as we walked, singing along to the songs we knew, and arguing over the best bands during the songs we didn’t.
Erica was busy talking about getting concert tickets when a familiar song began to play.
"Be quiet. I love this song." She smiled and obliged.
The lead singer, a girl, began to sing softly:
"We are running out of time
And I’ve got to make up my mind.
Do I stay here and pretend that nothing has happened?
Or do I try to make this right?
Then the chorus and hard rock started, a boy joined the girl.
Time is running out
And I’ve got to choose.
Do I sit here and pretend that I’ve got nothing to lose?
Do I stay by your side until I know you’ll be alright?
Can I simply run away and hide, hide the hurt inside?
Can I forget you, forget the burning look in your eyes?
Can I forget what it felt like to hold you through the rough times?
Because, time is running out, and I’ve got to choose.
Because I have so much to lose.
The girl returned, her sweet voice singing slowly.
Can I forget we ever happened?
No, I don’t think I can.
Can I forget how it felt to hold your hand?
Oh baby, don’t leave me now.
I can’t move on now. I don’t know how.
You’re a part of me. A part of who I am.
What can I do to make you understand?
Time is running out
And I’ve got to choose.
Do I sit here and pretend that I’ve got nothing to lose?
Do I stay by your side until I know you’ll be alright?
Can I simply run away and hide, hide the hurt inside?
Can I forget you, forget the burning look in your eyes?
Can I forget what it felt like to hold you through the rough times?
Because, time is running out, and I’ve got to choose.
Because I have so much to lose.
Time is running out for you and me.
And I need to make you see
What you’re doing to me.
What you’re asking me to do, is to forget you.
And I don’t know how to.
And I don’t want to.
I’ll love you till I die,
And won’t hide the tears I’ll cry.
‘Cause I need you and only you.
Why won’t you accept the truth?
Time is running out
And I’ve got to choose.
Do I sit here and pretend that I’ve got nothing to lose?
Do I stay by your side until I know you’ll be alright?
Can I simply run away and hide, hide the hurt inside?
Can I forget you, forget the burning look in your eyes?
Can I forget what it felt like to hold you through the rough times?
Because, time is running out, and I’ve got to choose.
Because I have so much to lose.
Losing you is a horrible reality.
But if staying away will make you happy,
I’ll let you go, oh.
I’ve got so much to lose,
In losing you.
I’ll lose myself, and I,
I can’t say good-bye and I want you.
But if you don’t feel that way,
Baby it’s okay.
I’ll stand back and let you go just as long as you know..
Time is running out
And I’ve got to choose.
Do I sit here and pretend that I’ve got nothing to lose?
Do I stay by your side until I know you’ll be alright?
Can I simply run away and hide, hide the hurt inside?
Can I forget you, forget the burning look in your eyes?
Can I forget what it felt like to hold you through the rough times?
Because, time is running out, and I’ve got to choose.
Because I have so much to lose.
Then as it faded, the girl sang "Because I have so much to lose."
Erica smiled at me. "I never thought you would like ‘Time Is Running Out’. I will admit, it is a good song, but the song ‘Daydreams and Nightmares’ is a better one. Do you wanna hear it?"
A cold pit formed in my stomach. The title promised some good hard rock, my type of music, but well, the thought of nightmares even in a song chilled me. I didn’t want to prove I was a total washout, so I agreed. The chorus caught my attention, at least, after I interpreted the words through the screaming.
"You don’t know me.
I don’t know me.
You don’t know the things I see.
The things I see when I’m sleeping.
And they scare me. Don’t you make believe,
I’m alright. I wake up screaming at night.
So I wake fearing for your life.
‘Cuz you’re going to die tonight."
Those lyrics seemed to describe me perfectly. They seemed to describe my nightmares, and my fears. I tried to shake the feeling of dread that suddenly hit me as the hospital came into view, but I just couldn’t. Erica noticed, and put her hand on my shoulder.
"It’ll be okay. Your mom is coming home today. You should be happy."
No, she isn’t! I wanted to scream. Today’s the day she’s going to die, and I can’t do anything about it. I shrugged off those thoughts. However, when we entered the hospital, I knew something was wrong. An intern was standing in the reception area, waiting for us.
Erica and I exchanged glances, and hurried forward.
"Are you Addison Flow?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yes. This is my friend, Erica. What happened?"
"Come with me. Your mother just suffered another heart attack."
I gasped and quickly followed, Erica behind me.
We entered her room, and saw the doctors standing along the wall. Mom was laying on the bed, her breathing ragged.
I hurried to her side. Erica held back. "Do something!" I said angrily to the doctors.
"We can’t. We did all that we could, Addy. The heart attack was major. We can’t save her."
"No!" I said furiously. I looked at Mom who was holding my hand, her aquamarine eyes filled with tears.
"Addy . . . honey. My will is in the night stand." Every word seemed to cost her some effort. "I love you, sweetie. I just can’t fight anymore. I....feel awful about leaving you."
"Then don’t. Please Mom, fight it."
She moaned and closed her eyes. "I’m sorry baby, but I can’t. Not anymore. I’ll be with your father soon." Mom turned to Erica. "I’m happy to have known you, dear. I’m happy you are friends with Addy. Watch over her for me."
Erica came forward. "I will Lucille. I promise." Erica looked Mom straight in the eye, and her tone was sincere.
Mom smiled. "Good girl." She let out a shuddering gasp, and her grasp slackened. The monitor beeped. She was dead.
"No, Mom," I begged. I looked up at the window through my tears. What I saw made me frown. I brushed tears from my eyes, thinking I had imagined it. No it was there. A large black raven was sitting on the windowsill. It spread its wings and flew away when I noticed it.
I looked back at Mom’s peaceful expression. Her mouth was in a slight smile, her gentle eyes closed. She looked like she was sleeping. Then the tears flowed. I shook back and forth, one hand over my mouth. The doctors stood there.
Erica rounded on them. "Let her have some privacy," she hissed. "Go on. You can come back later."
A nurse came and patted my arm. "She was a good woman," she said. Then the nurse beckoned to her co-workers and they left.
Erica sat down by me, and put her arm around my shoulder. I saw she was crying too. "I’m sorry Addy. I liked her a lot. I’m so sorry." That did it. Realization spread through my body, numbing me. Then I felt cold, and filled with grief and anguish.
"Erica." I collapsed in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I cried because Mom was dead. I cried because I was an orphan. I cried because I had predicted this, and never stopped it. I cried because it was all my fault. I felt like I could’ve saved her.
I don’t know how long I sat there in Erica’s arms, but I do know during that time, I let the grief have me. And I do know that was the turning point in my life. Because at that moment, I knew, my dreams were real. I cried because I didn’t know when it would happen again. I cried because now that a dream had come true, I was afraid.
* * * *
"Come on Addy. I know this is hard, but we can’t be late." Erica pounded the door. I was standing in my bedroom, just staring at my reflection in the mirror, not really seeing it. Today was Mom’s funeral.
Erica pounded on the door. "Addy, come on." Her tone was earnest.
I opened the door and she took my arm. "Ready?"
I nodded. She kept a firm grip on my arm and led me downstairs to the cab. I watched the blurred images of the houses pass by.
We arrived at the church, but I felt numb. I felt this way these past two days. I felt this way as I cleaned out Mom’s hospital room. I felt this way while arranging the funeral. I felt this way all the time. In my numbness, I barley heard the sermon. Then back into the cab to the cemetery.
The last time I had seen Mom was in her coffin at the viewing yesterday. We were burying her in a soft blue dress, and her hair was slightly wavy. She had looked peaceful. But I tried to remember her how she was before she was in the hospital. I tried to remember of her as the energetic woman who took me on hikes. The kind woman who read me bedtime stories when I was little. I tried to remember her as the person she was before her illness limited her. I tried to remember her laughing, or singing, or dancing. But it was amazing how even those happy memories could fill me with guilt and cause me to break down.
As we stood around the grave and the priest said prayers, I stared at the coffin, trying hard not to imagine my mother inside it. When they lowered it into the earth, I tried not to imagine her fading from my life. I had lost my father and now my mother. It seemed the people I loved wound up dead. Would Erica be next? I would pay more attention to my dreams for the sake of my sanity.
After the funeral, I went into Mom’s room. Now came the hard part; getting rid of all her stuff. To me, this seemed to make her death more real. More real then the funeral had, because I was getting rid of everything she had owned. I stood in the doorway, committing the room to memory. I walked over to the pine desk and ran a hand over its smooth surface, remembering Mom sitting at it, working on some poem or another. Poetry was one of my mother’s greatest passions, and her poems were beautiful. I then walked over to the bed and ran a hand along the sheets. I remembered Mom and I sitting on it making jewelry, or her reading a poem to me as I showed her my latest sketches. We shared our hobbies passionately, and I even took the liberty of illustrating one of my favorite poems. The room seemed so unreal without Mom. It seemed as though a piece of my world, a piece that had been so familiar, a piece I always counted on, had fallen through space and was hurtling through its dark depths. And that piece could never be replaced.
I was so engrossed in my memories, that I didn’t notice Erica come in the doorway. "Addy?" she said softly. "Addy, do want some help or...?" her voice became uncertain.
I looked at her, my only friend. Erica, with her punk-rock style and eccentric hairdos. I loved her like a sister. Even though I only had known her a short time, an unbreakable pact had been formed between us. As I looked at her in the doorway, I knew I needed her strength to complete the task at hand. "Yes, I would enjoy your help."
She smiled slightly and entered the room. She looked around with interest, curiously inspecting some of the needlework and sketches along the walls. "It is peaceful in here."
I nodded and went to the desk. "You can empty this out. I’ll handle the closet."
She nodded and came to the desk. She opened one of the doors and began to remove sewing needles and thread, while I sorted through Mom’s clothes.
"Oh wow!" Erica exclaimed. "This is absolutely beautiful!" She held a picture frame in her hand, and I came over to investigate. When I came closer, I recognized the paper inside the frame.
It was one of my mother’s poems; one I had illustrated. "My mom wrote that and I did the illustrations. I didn’t know she still had it. I was about ten when I did the sketch."
She looked at me eyes wide. "You illustrated this at the age of ten?"
I looked at her puzzled. "Yes."
She shook her head, studying the picture.
"What? Is something wrong?"
"No. It’s beautiful Addy. I never would’ve guessed a ten-year-old could illustrate this well." She handed the frame to me, and I scanned my sketch at the bottom of the page. It was a picture of a raven-haired maiden standing by a stream as the sun set behind the trees. She was staring into the water, as though hoping it could comfort her, for she had a look of pain in her eyes.
"The Lost Maiden," I muttered. "It’s the name of the poem. My mother wrote it after she had a dream. She describes it here. I always loved to hear her read it."
"Then keep it. It obviously means something to you." She scanned the stanzas, written in my mother’s finest calligraphy. "Your family is very talented," she mused.
I smiled weakly. "Thank you. I don’t really see it as talent, however. Just a hobby or passion that got out of hand."
Erica laughed. "Well, think what you will. In my mind, it’s talent." She looked out the window, overlooking the garden. She pushed a lock of blue hair behind her ear and looked at me. "I hope I didn’t offend you at the funeral. With my dyed hair I mean."
My gut clenched at the mention of the funeral. "No, you didn’t. Mom would’ve wanted you to come as who you are, not some gussied up version of yourself."
She nodded and set the frame on the bed. "Well, just wanted you to know that if you need anything, just ask."
I smiled at her. "I appreciate the offer." I stood up and checked the clock. "Do you want to go eat?"
Erica jumped up. "Ok. Let me change first."
I nodded and she left the room. I figured I should change out of my clothes into something more suitable for being in public. I left the room and wandered down the hallway to my bedroom.
I changed into a pair of jeans and a yellow T-shirt. As I started to tie my sneakers, Erica came through the doorway.
She wore a pair of flare-leg jeans with a black long-sleeved shirt. The sleeves were off her shoulders. She had two silver rings pierced on the cartilage of her ear, and a black onyx stone on her earlobe. She wore black flip-flops, and her hair looked as though it had been in a ponytail, then pulled against her head so it stood straight up and clipped, creating a fashionable messy ‘do. She had a skull ring on her finger, and a black belt. On her neck was a hemp necklace. She came forward and shook her head.
"Addy, you can’t wear that where we’re going."
I looked at her, stunned. Her outfit was more noticeable, not mine. "What do you mean my outfit? Look at yours!"
She chuckled. "Trust me on this." She strode over to my closet, and clucked in disapproval. "You have absolutely nothing to wear. Hold on a minute, I’ll be right back." With that, she left my room.
She returned five minutes later with some clothes in her arms. She laid them on the bed. "You would fit in more if you wore some of these."
Cautious, because I knew Erica had an eccentric sense of style, I moved toward the bed.
She made me try on loads of shirts, jeans, cargo pants, arm-warmers, skirts, shoes, and jewelry, until she finally decided on a plaid mini-skirt, a black, short-sleeved shirt, a gold necklace of my own with a thin chain and a small heart locket, and some black and red bracelets.
She stepped back to admire her handiwork. "The look actually suits you," she mused.
I glanced in my mirror, and was surprised that I actually like this new look. Not wanting to give in easily, I said, "No eccentric hairdo’s to try? Or did you already fulfill your task of using me as a guinea pig?"
Erica laughed. "Trust me. Your hair looks fine as is. However, if we don’t get a move on, we won’t have enough time to eat."
I stood up and followed her down the stairs to the car. She slid in the driver’s seat and blasted rock music on the radio.
We headed into town, and I felt uneasy. I had no idea where we were going, and, when we passed the town limit sign, I lost it.
"Where in the world are you taking me?!" I demanded of Erica. "You never said we were going to the city!"
She looked at me. Her light blue eyes bored straight into mine. "Calm down Addy. Don’t you trust me? The restaurants in town are dull. I thought you might like going somewhere new for a change."
"It would’ve been nice if you told me this earlier," I mumbled. I hadn’t meant to have an outburst, but I guess I wasn’t myself these days. And to be frank, who could blame me? Freakish nightmares that reoccurred every night and wouldn’t leave you alone was enough to make anyone question their sanity. Especially when they felt real.
Erica had been observing me closely. "Addy you ok?"
"Fine."
"Well you don’t look it. Do you want to go home?"
"I’m fine Erica!"I snapped. "Keep your eyes on the road." I didn’t mean to yell, but my temper flared easily these days and my nerves were on a breaking point. I glanced at Erica and was surprised to see her unphased.
"I would appreciate it if you didn’t bite my head off every time I ask if you’re ok. I simply worry about you and I understand you’re frustrated and upset, but it would be nice if you didn’t yell at someone who is only trying to help."
"Sorry Erica. I’m just not myself anymore."
She nodded. "I felt the same way when my father died. It takes a while, but you will find yourself again. I did."
I smiled at her. "You’re a great friend. You really are. I’m sorry that I’ve treated you rudely."
"It’s ok," she said firmly. "I understand. And I’m here for you."
I gave her a smile. I couldn’t put my gratitude into words. Just by her being here with me, supporting me after all that I’ve been through even though she doesn’t know about the nightmares, meant so much to me. I just wish I knew how to tell her that.
"Well, here we are," Erica announced ten minutes later. We outside a brick building with dark windows and a sign on the door read Nightmare Café. I stared at her in disbelief. This was not my kind of restaurant.
"Where the hell are we?" I demanded. "You said we were going to a restaurant, not a freak show!"
Erica looked slightly put out. "I think freak show is a bit harsh. I hang here all the time, and the people are really cool and the music is great."
"I’m not going in there! I now understand the whole make-over, but I do not exactly fit in with Goths and such even if I wear the clothes they do."
"Where do I fall then?"
"You and Sage are the only two I ever had anything in common with, though you’re not exactly Goth. More punk-rock."
Erica smiled. "Chicken."
"I am not!"
"Are too. Now come on. There’s someone I want you to meet."
So that was her reason for dragging me to the city and a café that looked like people who had serious depression issues hung out. I decided to placate her since I sort of insulted her.
I stepped out of the car and Erica followed suit. She smiled at me and I realized she had added purple streaks to her hair. She took my hand and drug me to the door and I kept thinking time to get mauled in a mosh pit or something since she mentioned music which undoubtably was hard core rock or metal.
She pushed open the door and we entered the café. It was dark with black tables. The curtains were black which explained the black windows. The people crowded inside were mostly Goths, punk-rock people, and one group looked like some cult. The stage was black and currently was empty, but I saw a sign announcing the band to play was called "Death’s Door" and was going to play in an hour.
As we walked, many eyes flickered to me. The pale faces and black outlined eyes of the Goths, , the punk-rockers with their eccentric hairstyles, studded belts, and skull rings, and band logo T-shirts. And the group I thought to be a cult all stiffened when I walked by. Their pale faces glared and one girl with wild red hair let out what sounded like a hiss. That shocked me. I wasn’t completely accepted.
Erica led me to a table near the stage. A girl sat there, her pale face staring intently at a group at another table. She had thick black hair with dark red streaks. She wore black pants with chains and a black shirt with a skull. She had finger-less black gloves and a studded belt. On her neck was a black choker with a silver skull pendant dangling from it. Her ring was a silver skull like Erica’s. As we approached, she looked at us and her black lipstick lips formed a smile. She stood up.
"Erica! Nice to see you. I was beginning to worry you weren’t coming!" Something about her voice was familiar.
"Hey! Of course I was coming! It took a while to get Addy out of the damn car." Erica said, and the girl laughed. She turned to me.
"Addy, nice to see you again."
Then I looked at her face intently and I realized it was Sage.
"Sage! Oh my God! I can’t believe it! How are you!"
Sage laughed. "Same as ever Addy. How is the art coming along?"
"Good. Oh Sage! I’ve missed you so much!"
Sage smiled and sat down. "Let’s catch up with each other then."
I sat across from her and Erica sat on my right. Sage glanced at the table she had been staring at before; the cult table. She frowned and Erica followed her gaze. "What’s up?" she asked.
Sage turned away. "They seem....I can’t explain it. They don’t seem human. Their eyes are blood red. All of them. When they caught me looking at them before, that female with the red hair growled at me. And I mean that literally."
Erica frowned. "I suppose you’re right. Something’s not right about them. But we can discuss them later. I didn’t bring Addy here to get freaked by some strange cult. I brought her here to talk to you. You guys were such good friends."
Sage smiled. "I’m glad to see you again Addy. And, I’m sorry for your loss. Your mother was always nice to me despite my Gothic ways when most people would flip at me or avoid me." She sighed and looked at the ceiling. "My mother included. I guess she couldn’t take not having a ‘normal’ daughter. She kicked me out three days ago and I’m living in an apartment here in the city now."
"Oh Sage. I always thought your mom was ok with everything. I can’t believe she did that!"
Sage smiled grimly and leaned back in her chair so it was standing on its back legs. "I don’t care. Really I don’t. She never understood me." She leaned forward so all the chair’s legs touched ground again. "These are my true friends Addy. You and all of these people who understand how I feel. Who are all zombies like me. Everyone thinks we have no feelings. No emotions. And after hearing that so many times, we believe it. We believe we are soulless, incapable of love or grief or passion. Just anger at the world. These are my true friends as are you."
Erica cleared her throat to interrupt the silence that followed her statement. "Well, I’m going to get us some food." She stood up and headed to the food counter.
Sage sighed and checked her watch. Her expression brightened. "Music starts in five minutes."
"The sign says an hour," I protested.
"It was put up before you came. So it is five minutes before mosh pits form." She laughed at her joke.
Erica came back and handed us each a soda and announced that pizza would be at our table in a few minutes.
We talked about school for the next five minutes. I quickly told Sage about Sammy and her traitor behavior. She cracked her knuckles at that and her gray eyes flashed at the mention of Viola. "I always hated her," she spat.
Then a guy dressed in a black turtleneck and pants stood on stage. "Attention everyone! Attention! The band will be coming on stage in one minute!"
Loud cheers came from the patrons and Erica yelled and Sage did too.
"Are they that good?" I asked.
Sage looked at me like I was mad. "Good! They’re the best damn band that plays here! I mean, the others are good, but they’re the best! They’re going on tour next month."
"Oh."
Sage turned her head to stare at the stage. Erica thanked the waiter who had brought our pizza.
Then the band walked on stage. There were two guys both dressed in black pants and shirts. A girl walked on after them. She had short black hair and blue-gray eyes that had a haunted expression to them. Her face had black makeup starting at the corner of her eyes and curving down her face so they looked like tears. She wore a deep red dress with a black belt that hung loosely at her waist. She stood in front of the microphone as another two guys came on and set up their instruments.
A girl sat our table. She had blond hair tied into two ponytails. One on each side of her head. Light green streaks were dyed into it. She wore black chain pants and a red shirt with the logo Dying Inside: Death’s Door on it. She grinned at Erica. "What’s up? Name’s Gail."
Erica held out her hand. "Nothing much. Name’s Erica and this is Sage and this is Addy. I can see you’re a fan."
Gail grinned. "I went to the concert at Slaesbrook."
"They’re starting," Sage said.
The girl took her place and said in a beautiful voice, "How are you tonight?" Enthusiastic cheers. "We love performing here. You guys give us such a good welcome. We are going to start with a new song for our next album Nightmares and Demons. It’s called "Into the Dark". We hope you enjoy it." Loud applause.
The heavy guitars and drums started up and the girl began to sing:
You say I’m everything but I know I’m not.
You say I’m the light and I show you the way but you are far from the truth.
I laugh at your faith in me. I scoff at your love.
You say I am your dream come true and that you can tame the wild side of me.
I am my own master.
I am not your dream.
I am your nightmare. The things that make you scream.
To tell the truth I control you and the things you do.
You blindly follow me into the dark as I pull you from your light.
I begin to laugh as you scream in pain and realize I’m the one you ran from all your life.
I grin as you realize your life is mine for the taking.
I don’t lessen the pain as you beg me to.
You are in my world now where dreams don’t come true.
I am my own master.....
The chorus made me shiver as did the whole song. And the girl’s voice! It had a cruel edge to it! I had to admit this band was good. Sage, Gail, and Erica clapped loudly when the song finished and grinned in delight at the next song. They knew all the words. Everyone did. I could tell this band was a smash hit.
When they finished to an enthusiastic applause and left the stage, I turned to Erica and Sage. Both of them were looking at me expectantly and Erica looked somewhat smug.
"Admit it," she said. "You’re glad I brought you here and you like that band."
"Fine. I do. Are you satisfied?" She grinned. "What is the lead singer’s name?"
"Dusk," Sage said. "Where did Gail go?"
Erica shrugged. "You guys were looking the stage. She left with two friends."
Sage nodded and reached over to grab a piece of pizza. "She seems ok."
I nodded and grabbed pizza. "I really am glad you brought me here. I...know mom wouldn’t want me to not have fun. It was good to see Sage again. I...I don’t deserve friends like you."
Erica’s eyes softened and she paused mid-bite. She set her pizza down and hugged me. "You are a good friend Addy. Never doubt yourself. You are loyal and honest. What more can we ask for?"
Sage nodded. "You are our opposites but still, you are the happier qualities I don’t have. You actually don’t know how good it was that day you sat by me at lunch when I was the new girl." She seemed to be struggling with something.
"Sage?" I took her hand and gave her a small smile. "What is it?"
"I...I . . . ," she took a deep breath. "When I first came to Windy Meadow, my mother sent me to live with my grandma. She wanted to get rid of me I suppose. I was an embarrassment to her. All her friends had respectable goody-goody two shoe daughters who only cared about makeup and clothes and ugh! It was sickening! But there I was, with my black clothes and chains and skulls and metal music and all. I never fit in. I took my stress out on myself. I told myself I was useless. I got good grades and such, but my mother didn’t care about that if her daughter looked like a freak. Well, as you can imagine, no one was my friend. When I came to Windy Meadow I thought I wasn’t any better off. I knew dear old gram who is so very much like my mother would get fed up with me soon enough and send me home.
"Well she started to. I knew it would be a matter off time before I was packing my bags. As a matter of fact, the day I met you was going to be my last day. When she learned I had a friend, she kept there for a while to see if I changed. And I slowly did. To an extent. I wasn’t as depressed as before. I laughed more often. I was in the home stretch. I was going to stay with my gram and away from my mom and her annoying friends and their perfect daughters. I wasn’t going to have snide comments thrown at me from them and if I did, I had a friend to rely on.
"Then Viola screwed it all up. Gram was ashamed of learning that when I was improving I ‘stole’ from a charity drive. And, despite my pleading, she sent me home saying she never wanted to see my sorry face again and wondered how my mother could stand having a freak for a daughter. To this day I’m haunted by the fact that when my life was getting good, I was sent home disgraced and accused of a crime I never committed. I’m sorry I was kept out of touch but I was under house arrest until mom kicked me out. I’m not sorry either. I’m happy now. I can see you and Erica more often and can come to this club again. I missed Windy Meadow so much." She smiled wryly. "Dear old gram will be surprised when she learns I’m here to stay."
Erica snorted. "Family reunion time. How fun."
Sage smirked. "I can’t wait."
We talked for another hour. Then I said good-bye to Sage and invited her over. She agreed to stop by and we left.
"Addy, I need to stop and pick up some things at the grocery store. Do you mind?"
"No."
She nodded and we were silent on the ride to the store. Erica got out and I told her I would wait in the car. She didn’t question it for which I was grateful.
As I sat in the car, a familiar wave of cold washed over me. I groaned and put my head in my hands. My breathing came in ragged gasps and my hands tightened in my hair. My eyes flickered closed and color swirled in front of them. My body slumped in my seat and I was unaware of anything except for the red haired woman in front of me.
"Your time has come. You are about to embark on a journey that I took a hundred years ago. Do not fail. The fate of the world rests in your hands." She paused and moved aside. A small window of light appeared and I saw a girl walk unto the street and get hit by a car.
"No!" I screamed. I jolted awake. I was shivering and cold. Sweat beaded my face. Erica came to the window, bags in her arms. She looked at me concerned. "You ok?" she asked.
I didn’t respond. I jumped out of the car and sprinted to the road. I located the spot from my dream and ran toward it. I saw a girl that looked like the one from dream walking toward it. She was about four. Where was her mother? I thought as I ran. She placed a foot on the road and I ran faster. I was never going to make it.
Halfway in the middle of the road, she bent down and picked up a bouncy ball. Then came a screeching. My head shot up as I saw an out of control car veer around the corner.
Without thought for my own safety, I ran onto the road and grabbed the girl around the waist. She stared wide-eyed at the car as it approached. It was close now and the girl wouldn’t move. I lifted her into my arms and as the car was two feet away from us, I ran onto the sidewalk as the car hit the spot where we just had been.
The girl trembled and I pushed a strand of hair from her face. "Are you ok?" I asked.
She looked at me with wide blue eyes and nodded.
"Amy! Amy honey are you ok?!" A woman ran to my side followed by Erica. I noticed people who had parked in the last rows of the parking lot had seen my rescue of the girl and now were staring at me and the girl with pale faces.
"Amy baby. Mommy’s here." The woman bent down near me and I handed her the girl. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and after making sure she was ok, she turned to me with grateful eyes. "Thank you. I didn’t know she had left. I was putting the bags in the car. I should’ve paid more attention are you ok dear?"
I nodded. I knew my face was pale. I was cold and I didn’t trust myself to speak. Erica came by my side and took my hand. "Addy are you ok? What the hell happened? You were in the car shaking. You screamed and before I could stop you, you ran here! What the hell happened to you?"
I shook my head. "Later Erica," I said. Then I clamped my mouth shut. I felt like I was going to be sick.
She looked at me questioningly, but didn’t pursue the subject. "Pardon me, but we need to going." She grabbed my arm and gave a sharp tug. "Come on," she said exasperated. She drug me through the crowd to the car, not saying anything. She kept quiet on the whole ride home.
When we pulled up in front of the house, Sage was sitting on the steps staring at the sky. She looked at us as we stepped out of the car.
Sage came over to us and studied me intently with her gray eyes. She looked sharply at Erica. "What happened to her?" she demanded.
Erica shrugged. "That’s what she is going to explain."
I walked into the house and they followed. I entered the living room and sat on the couch. Sage and Erica sat across from me and stared at me expectantly.
"Well?," Erica demanded. "What happened to you?"
I looked at both of them and tried to figure out what to say. What could I say so they didn’t think I was nuts. I couldn’t think of anything, so I lied.
"I saw the girl walk onto the road and I followed." I saw doubt in Erica’s eyes, but for some reason she didn’t pursue the subject. Maybe it was my stony expression or my cold eyes. In a few weeks, I had changed beyond recognition. I had dreams that came true. I screamed in the middle of the night as a searing pain raced down my cheek under my eye. It burned and felt like a knife was cutting my skin. I talked softly and spent loads of time in my room. I wasn’t myself anymore, and my friends knew it.
I bade them good night and they didn’t argue. As I climbed the stairs, I heard them start to whisper in low, concerned tones. I sighed. I knew they wanted to help me. I knew no shrink or therapy could help me now. It wasn’t a mater of being psychotic., though my response could fall under it.
As I climbed into bed, I knew without knowing how I knew it (Which happened a lot these days), that I was involved in something supernatural. Something that included forces beyond my control. Things that shouldn’t even exist.
And I knew I was right in the middle of it.
A/N: Not the greatest chapter, I know. I'll come back and edit. For now, this is what I got, and I will admit, it's not half bad. I am compiling songs that work for certain chapters. I also am in the process of getting character visuals. Well, all for now. Thanks for reading. =)