romance sleeps in the ground.
I am looking to be able to love myself. Somewhere, I was happy. I will dig to find it. When I find that time, carved, cut into slivers, and hidden underground, I will dust it off and remember.
I will walk into that piece of time and be happy again. I will learn to love me.
I will try to let go this self-loathing. I've held onto it for so long that I'm afraid to let it go. It's so much a part of me, to let it go would feel like giving up myself. And if I no longer carry this pain and loathing, will I still be able to protect myself, or will I be too painfully vulnerable? And if I can open myself and function--people will see the real me. The real me.
I'm afraid to be seen.