High School Profile
My 20-year class reunion is coming up, and a website has been started to allow us to catch up a bit. Several members of my graduating class have written personal bios, but I'm not comfortable with the usual fair, so I decided to try writing one that reflects my peculiar nature . . .
__________
For the last twenty years I have lived in nearly constant fear of the eventual onslaught of robots . . .
Alright. I have to admit, I haven't written a profile bio as of yet as I hadn't thought of a good opening line. I think that one's pretty good. The runner up was . . .
I have hair here, and here, but I don't have hair here. Is this website right for me?
Rather than write a personal biography (I am oddly private - emphasis on oddly) or a career profile (which is available via one of the website links), I think I would be much more fun and entertaining to enumerate factoids (a bit light on fact at times) . . .
In the past twenty years, I've . . .
had my photo taken with Rupert Jee of the Hello Deli.
had my photo taken in front of the Weiner Mobile.
performed the dance from the "Robert's Wedding" episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" at my wedding, only to be upstaged by the maid of honor and 3 close friends who performed the OK Go dance, "C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips" dance at our reception.
had several good halloween costumes: the Black Monolith from 2001, Trent from the cartoon Daria, & most recently Sweeney Todd.
developed a theory of my growing boredom (to others). It involves my growth in weight combined with the industrial strength man-girdle I wear at all times (yes, ALL times), making myself essentially a dense source of gravity, seemingly slowing time to those around me.
become somewhat of an amateur oracle of sorts, predicting amongst other things that in the future a 17 year old girl will win a pulitzer prize for literature based upon a list of potentially cool band names written in the margin of her mathematics notebook.
invented a numbering system called unary, where all numbers are expressed as '0'. Degrees of sizes of '0' can be implied through vocal inflection or through ambiguous hand gestures.
attempted to grow a third arm (unsuccessfully) simply through the power of intense concentration.
__________
For the last twenty years I have lived in nearly constant fear of the eventual onslaught of robots . . .
Alright. I have to admit, I haven't written a profile bio as of yet as I hadn't thought of a good opening line. I think that one's pretty good. The runner up was . . .
I have hair here, and here, but I don't have hair here. Is this website right for me?
Rather than write a personal biography (I am oddly private - emphasis on oddly) or a career profile (which is available via one of the website links), I think I would be much more fun and entertaining to enumerate factoids (a bit light on fact at times) . . .
In the past twenty years, I've . . .
had my photo taken with Rupert Jee of the Hello Deli.
had my photo taken in front of the Weiner Mobile.
performed the dance from the "Robert's Wedding" episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" at my wedding, only to be upstaged by the maid of honor and 3 close friends who performed the OK Go dance, "C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips" dance at our reception.
had several good halloween costumes: the Black Monolith from 2001, Trent from the cartoon Daria, & most recently Sweeney Todd.
developed a theory of my growing boredom (to others). It involves my growth in weight combined with the industrial strength man-girdle I wear at all times (yes, ALL times), making myself essentially a dense source of gravity, seemingly slowing time to those around me.
become somewhat of an amateur oracle of sorts, predicting amongst other things that in the future a 17 year old girl will win a pulitzer prize for literature based upon a list of potentially cool band names written in the margin of her mathematics notebook.
invented a numbering system called unary, where all numbers are expressed as '0'. Degrees of sizes of '0' can be implied through vocal inflection or through ambiguous hand gestures.
attempted to grow a third arm (unsuccessfully) simply through the power of intense concentration.