(no subject)
Ugh where to start, i haven't said anything here for a while, i'm not much on telling people what's wrong, but i can't fucking take it anymore, first off school is killing me, for some reason i'm barely making it by, i'm doing the best i can, and i get rewarded with shit. I study so hard, and all i get are 80's and 70's on tests, when i feel like i should have got a 100 on the damn thing.
Next, i'm so frustrated with my classes, picking them that is, we're scheduling classes, and i don't know what i want to do, i can't decide what college to go to, what i'm going to major in, but i need to know, so i can take classes now.
Last, but the biggest is my personality. I seem to be the only one i show this to, to most everyone else i keep an upbeat demeanor, i try to stay happy and keep everyone else happy. But over the last few months, when i'm alone i'm bitter, i don't care about anything, or anyone. I find myself blowing up at my friends, and especially my family. Mostly for stuff i've just kept inside, and i don't know what to do, it seems no one cares, even though i haven't said anything. No one ever asks me what's wrong, i have to go to them to talk, and that's hard for me to do. No one notices, or cares that i've been down lately. I just don't know what to do to make myself happy again, to me it seems i have no apparent reason to be down, but i am, i'm really low, i feel like shit. I just wish someone could help me or atleast know how i'm feeling, but at the same time i don't want to ask for anyones help, or let anyone know how i have been.
Well i finally said what has been on my mind for a while, now that was hard for me to do.
Next, i'm so frustrated with my classes, picking them that is, we're scheduling classes, and i don't know what i want to do, i can't decide what college to go to, what i'm going to major in, but i need to know, so i can take classes now.
Last, but the biggest is my personality. I seem to be the only one i show this to, to most everyone else i keep an upbeat demeanor, i try to stay happy and keep everyone else happy. But over the last few months, when i'm alone i'm bitter, i don't care about anything, or anyone. I find myself blowing up at my friends, and especially my family. Mostly for stuff i've just kept inside, and i don't know what to do, it seems no one cares, even though i haven't said anything. No one ever asks me what's wrong, i have to go to them to talk, and that's hard for me to do. No one notices, or cares that i've been down lately. I just don't know what to do to make myself happy again, to me it seems i have no apparent reason to be down, but i am, i'm really low, i feel like shit. I just wish someone could help me or atleast know how i'm feeling, but at the same time i don't want to ask for anyones help, or let anyone know how i have been.
Well i finally said what has been on my mind for a while, now that was hard for me to do.