ghost
Nothing ever used to change in this house.
Since my arrival I've stubbed my foot three times entering the bathroom. It was remodeled while I was away. The transitional piece between the tile floor of the bathroom and the carpet of the hallway used to be a flat (flush?) piece of metal. It is now a piece of marble tile that comes up about half of an inch higher than the carpeting. My big toe mourns.
It took me an hour to find my iPod. I put it in a drawer 5 months ago and had no recollection of that. I still have not found any of my earrings. My ears mourn.
I don't know where anything is. I feel like I have amnesia and am rediscovering everything. I can't find anything. And the things I do find don't strike me as being mine. I keep finding pieces of paper in my room.. Things I don't remember writing.
I need a tour guide for my own house. I have not yet left because I haven't been able to reacquaint myself with it and am terrified of re-experiencing something even bigger, like the City. However, fear has always been a motivator for me. I am going to buy a metrocard and get on the subway. It's difficult to even fathom a metrocard. Everything that used to be so familiar feels so foreign.
Nothing ever used to change.
This is what it feels like to be home.
Since my arrival I've stubbed my foot three times entering the bathroom. It was remodeled while I was away. The transitional piece between the tile floor of the bathroom and the carpet of the hallway used to be a flat (flush?) piece of metal. It is now a piece of marble tile that comes up about half of an inch higher than the carpeting. My big toe mourns.
It took me an hour to find my iPod. I put it in a drawer 5 months ago and had no recollection of that. I still have not found any of my earrings. My ears mourn.
I don't know where anything is. I feel like I have amnesia and am rediscovering everything. I can't find anything. And the things I do find don't strike me as being mine. I keep finding pieces of paper in my room.. Things I don't remember writing.
I need a tour guide for my own house. I have not yet left because I haven't been able to reacquaint myself with it and am terrified of re-experiencing something even bigger, like the City. However, fear has always been a motivator for me. I am going to buy a metrocard and get on the subway. It's difficult to even fathom a metrocard. Everything that used to be so familiar feels so foreign.
Nothing ever used to change.
This is what it feels like to be home.