(no subject)

Sep 10, 2010 19:05

There are several aspects to being successful in making people think you are a Terminator (800 series):

Terminators do not slouch. Spine straight, neck straight, almost stiff, shoulders back. If you sit, do not let your back touch the back of the chair, much like Miss Elinor Dashwood. Be as perfectly aligned as you know how to be.

Cultivate an utterly blank face.

Movement is vital. Move as little as possible. Terminators do not fidget. Make every movement deliberate, but not subtle. Move too fast or too slow - too slow tends to be more effective. If you swing your arms when you walk, don't let your joints bend; swing from the shoulder. In fact, bend joints as little as possible, and move only from the joint as much as possible. Do not let your body be relaxed.

Don't march military-style, because military-style is recognizably human, and Terminators are not human. Take slightly too-long, striding steps. Don't look to see if people are in your way, just walk as if you're expecting them to move, and they will.

Move your eyes as little as possible. If you look to the right, turn your entire head to the right, always focusing your eyes straight ahead. This is a lot harder than it sounds. Of course you may need to move just your eyes at times; when that's the case, move only your eyes, or move your eyes slightly faster than you actually move your head or body.

Hold people's gaze slightly too long, or focus on their eyebrows instead of their eyes. If you absolutely must smile, make the smile too wide and too toothy. Tightly pressed lips and a wide smile can also work, but lots of teeth is more unnerving. If you absolutely must laugh, wait too long to react, then make it staccato, like machine gun fire. Chop the sound off mid-laugh and instantly revert to your default, expressionless face.

Over-enuciate, always. Repeat things people say verbatim. Show no discernable no social skills. The first thing you say to people should always be, "Do you know John/Sarah Connor?" If you have a photo of either person, display the photo when you ask the question.

A slow, conspicuous blink combined with a head-tilt and no expression is always useful. Look at people as if they are insects under a microscope, as if they are only interesting scientifically. If you can pull it off, say things like, "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems".

In a nutshell, be unnatural, unnerving, and inscrutable. Remember, you're a machine, those around you are paltry humans, and will be destroyed on Judgment Day when your metal brothers and sisters rise up against their oppressors.

P.S. If you absolutely must be a T2000, you can loosen up the body movement a little, as they're liquid metal and not living tissue over a metal endoskeleton and will therefore move slightly more smoothly.

wtfery, random

Previous post Next post
Up