*whew*

[edoraslass]

Hope everyone in America had a great Thanksgiving! Mine was totally stress-free, as my family lives out-of-state, and therefore I did not have to deal with any weird dynamics

Comments

[just_ann_now]

oh, this turned out quite nicely! I like the way you've drawn Kathleen as sympathetic, but full of common-sense. She knows there's not point in romance, but that doesn't keep her from trying to help the best she can. It's good to ber reminded, too, that in towns like Tortuga or Dodge City there are good-hearted people, trying their best to live decent lives in such vile hives of scum and villany. Does a heart good.

[edoraslass]

Thanks! I probably won't get the chance to use her again, the more's the pity - I like her and her happy, helpful attitude, even in a rathole like Tortuga!

[half_elf_lost]

Loved this! Written in her voice is so enjoyable to read. Seeing her life - and a side of Norrington we wouldn't normally be exposed to - is very interesting and expands Tortuga.

[edoraslass]

Thank you! There have to be some decent people everywhere, even in wild,lawless Tortuga, and someone like that would be sure to take as much pity on Norrington as he'd allow.

[aliana1]

Nice job! You capture the atmosphere of Tortuga very well, IMO, with the boozed up "regulars" (I especially like Gator Andy) and the hard-core tavern culture. You also did a great job with Norrington's and Kathleen's characters.

[edoraslass]

Gator Andy is a Seminole, though depending on the actual PotC timeframe, they probably weren't yet called Seminoles. But I figured you'd get one or two of them pirating.

And thanks! I'm so new to actually writing PotC that this was a lot harder than it should have been. :)

[sillimarilli]

Very very nice. POTC fandom may be relatively new to you, but, IMHO, you've got Norrington down cold. :D Wonderful characterization and your OFC leaps off the page. She seems like a somewhat tougher version of Kaylee, and so I can certainly see how the speech patterns would give you fits with that kind of an association. :P

Too many things to pick out, really, but these details stood out the most for me. They almost effortlessly flesh out your characters:

His voice was nice enough, smooth and deep, but it was almost as cold as his eyes.

He didn't speak to me again, except that once he said "Thank you" when I brought more rum, which was passing odd.
Eighteen," I said, insulted; I may not have curves like Giselle, but I’ll be damned if I look like a little girl.

So I touched the back of his hand and gently said, "James."
That did the trick; his eyes opened, all blood-shot and surprised and I swear, he were almost smiling.

[edoraslass]

She seems like a somewhat tougher version of Kaylee
Ummmm....yeah, ok, that was the entire problem, actually. I wanted to aim at a Kaylee-type-personality and kept getting Kaylee-speech-patterns, which really don't work in PotC.

Thanks! I seem to have more PotC drifting around in my head lately - we'll see what comes of that.

[wackdagz_jewel]

I just heard a shout and a crash, and when I looked up, Norrington were punching Little Teague in the jaw. Of course Big Teague jumped in, and then Grandda yelled at me to hide behind the bar, cause once Big Teague's in it, there's nothing else you can do.

This is just beautiful. I love this. You've made it sympathetic and funny, and you've filled in a story gap while creating potential (but no requirement) for future story lines. I didn't find any problem with the accent at all, actually, and it flows well, even though it is written in the accent.

Yeah, this is really good.

[edoraslass]

Heeee...the barfights are fun.
I try not to write too much in an actual accent, cause that can get distracting, but some bad grammar here and slightly non-standard phrasings there can give the impression of an accent. If that makes sense.

Thanks, lady!