Fic requests
Responses to the fic requests - Firefly, LOTR, LOTR/SW
For marastar, who wanted vaguely domestic Jayne, with a little bit of Kaylee. Remind me to point this out to her when she gets back.
Housekeeping
“Jayne,” Kaylee asked, incredulous, “What are you doin’?
“What’s it look like?” Jayne shot back, not even glancing at her.
It looked like he was scrubbing the kitchen table. It looked like he was scraping a spot of dried food or something with his fingernail, trying to get it to come off. Kaylee had never seen anything so strange, and that was saying a lot. She watched him in silence, completely bewildered.
“There,” Jayne said with satisfaction, giving the now-shining wood a final swipe with the rag in his hand. “Ain’t that better?”
Kaylee was about to agree - she didn’t know what else to do - when Jayne reached down, picked up the duffel bag at his feet, and began tossing his grimy weapons on the tabletop.
“Jayne!” Kaylee yelped, and he jumped a little bit. “You just spent all that time gettin’ the table clean!”
He stared at her. “Well, yeah,” he replied. “It was filthy! You think I’m gonna clean my guns on a dirty table like that?”
~*~
For allie_meril, who wanted Kaylee and her family.
Parental Worries
“None of them men been gettin’ too friendly, have they?”
“No, Daddy,” I answered, tryin’ not to giggle at the thought. Wash was pretty clear gone on Zoë, the Cap’n treated me like I was his little sis, and he would have murdered Jayne if he tried anything. Course, that didn’t stop Jayne from tryin’ to try.
“You keepin’ warm enough?” Mama asked. “You gettin’ enough to eat?”
“Yep, plenty warm,” I told her, puttin’ my arm round her shoulders. She felt smaller somehow, and I told myself to ask Daddy later ‘bout her health. “We don’t have nothin’ fancy to eat, but I ain’t goin’ hungry.” I sure wasn’t gonna tell them ‘bout the real meat we got last week after relievin’ some backwater politician of the money he stole from the townfolk.
Mama patted my hand and kissed my cheek. “Well, you look real good,” she allowed, but I could see that she was a little bit sad. “We’re real pleased every time we get a letter or a wav from you.”
I reminded myself to send letters more often. It didn’t take nothin’ to make Mama smile - she just wanted to know I was alive and doin’ well. And I didn’t really have nothin’ to buy with the money I got, anyways. Not that it was much, but I knew it helped them out.
Daddy leaned forward, lookin’ real serious. “Now you tell me true, little Kaylee. You happy, roamin’ around out there in the black? Cause that’s all we want -you to be happy.”
I thought of our meals round the kitchen table, like we was a family; my hammock in the engine room, where I could just lay there and listen to Serenity’s engines hummin’ away. I remember the time Jayne had brought me them lights to put up on my door; how Zoë always made sure that there was enough hot water left for me to wash my hair, even though she never said nothin’ ; how Wash could always make me laugh, and how the Cap’n looked after me - and all of us, cept maybe Jayne - like we was his blood-kin.
“Yep, “ I nodded, smilin’ big and wide. “Yep, Daddy. I’m real happy.”
~*~
For caras_galadhon, who asked for Wash/Zoe, and maybe some dinosaurs.
Indiscreet
“What in hell’s name are you doin’?”
Wash looked up to see his wife regarding him doubtfully. “I’m…straightening the console?”
Zoë raised an eyebrow. “Looks like you’re makin’ them dinosaurs do unnatural things.”
“Since when is sex unnatural?” Wash wanted to know, acting offended but looking unholy gleeful. “Look, dinosaurs have urges the same as anyone.”
“The same as anyone plastic?”
Wash shrugged, waved his hand at the little figures scattered around the cockpit. “Where do you think all these other dinosaurs came from?”
Zoë stared at him.
“They don’t judge you, Zoë,” Wash said, solemnly directing the gaze of the dinosaurs at her.
“That’s because I don’t have sex in the cockpit, where anyone could walk in,” she pointed out.
Wash shot her a meaningful look.
“Except that one time,” Zoë amended. “And we locked the door.”
~*~
For annmarwalk, who once upon a time wanted Gondorian and/or Rohirric underwear. Well, of course there are slashy implication.
Uncomfortable
Théodred had been acting strangely all morning. He could not seem to stay still in the saddle; every now and again, he would shift, standing up in the stirrups and repositioning himself as if he could not find a comfortable way to sit.
Finally Boromir drew his horse alongside Théodred’s. “Whatever is wrong?” he asked quietly. “I did not think I was that unrestrained last night.”
Theodred snorted laughter, but hesitated before he answered. “Are you…are you uncomfortable this morning?”
Boromir found this a very odd question. “What do you mean?”
To his confusion, Théodred looked sheepish. “I mean - how do your smallclothes fit?”
Now Boromir was truly confused. “I - I am not wearing any,” he admitted, lowering his voice further. “I could not find them in the tent this morning.”
There was a long pause as Théodred eyed him. “I am very long in the waist,” he said eventually. “The tailor complains about it incessantly.”
Boromir was puzzled for a moment, then he started to laugh, so loudly that the other men glanced back at them. “Then perhaps I should reclaim my smallclothes from you, the next time we stop?”
~*~
For lady_branwyn, who wanted Saruman for Halloween. Well, this is definitely Halloweeny, even if it’s now November.
Plot
Saurman looked suspiciously at the man in front of him. This sounded too good to be true, and he could not simply believe this information without questioning the source. Though, he admitted reluctantly, the source had so far been wholly reliable, and all the information had been excellent. But this was different.
“You are certain?” Saruman demanded again. “I trust you are aware of what I will do to you if you are lying.”
The young Marshal’s eyes flashed angrily. “Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?” Éomer asked, glaring. “Send your Orcs to the Fords in four days’ time - you will never have a better chance to rid yourself of Théodred, Théoden’s son.”
~*~
For sillimarilli, who is clearly on crack and wanted a Yoda and Gollum crossover.
Sage Advice
“There is no try. Do, or do not.”
“We wants it, yessss. We wants the Precioussss.”
“Embark on a quest, you will. If precious to you this object is, then seek it out, you must. Stand in your way, you must allow no-one to. Focus, young one. Connected through the Force are all living things - if truly want this Precious you do, then to feel where it is, you must learn.”
“Yes. Yessssss. We feel the Precious, feel it calling to usss. Oh, the nasssty Bagginsss! He keepsss it hidden. He doesss not understand! He callsss it evil, he does, oh nasty, thieving Bagginsssss! He will pay, oh yessss…”
“The Dark Side, is revenge. Corruption, obsession, despair, lie that way. Let yourself be drawn into such thoughts, you must not. From such emotions comes only tragedy.”
“Yesss, master. We should be kind to the Bagginsss, we should help him, oh such help we will give him. Yessss, we will be kind. So, so kind.”
“The Dark Side, also, is deceit. The Sith, perhaps you should consult.”
For marastar, who wanted vaguely domestic Jayne, with a little bit of Kaylee. Remind me to point this out to her when she gets back.
Housekeeping
“Jayne,” Kaylee asked, incredulous, “What are you doin’?
“What’s it look like?” Jayne shot back, not even glancing at her.
It looked like he was scrubbing the kitchen table. It looked like he was scraping a spot of dried food or something with his fingernail, trying to get it to come off. Kaylee had never seen anything so strange, and that was saying a lot. She watched him in silence, completely bewildered.
“There,” Jayne said with satisfaction, giving the now-shining wood a final swipe with the rag in his hand. “Ain’t that better?”
Kaylee was about to agree - she didn’t know what else to do - when Jayne reached down, picked up the duffel bag at his feet, and began tossing his grimy weapons on the tabletop.
“Jayne!” Kaylee yelped, and he jumped a little bit. “You just spent all that time gettin’ the table clean!”
He stared at her. “Well, yeah,” he replied. “It was filthy! You think I’m gonna clean my guns on a dirty table like that?”
~*~
For allie_meril, who wanted Kaylee and her family.
Parental Worries
“None of them men been gettin’ too friendly, have they?”
“No, Daddy,” I answered, tryin’ not to giggle at the thought. Wash was pretty clear gone on Zoë, the Cap’n treated me like I was his little sis, and he would have murdered Jayne if he tried anything. Course, that didn’t stop Jayne from tryin’ to try.
“You keepin’ warm enough?” Mama asked. “You gettin’ enough to eat?”
“Yep, plenty warm,” I told her, puttin’ my arm round her shoulders. She felt smaller somehow, and I told myself to ask Daddy later ‘bout her health. “We don’t have nothin’ fancy to eat, but I ain’t goin’ hungry.” I sure wasn’t gonna tell them ‘bout the real meat we got last week after relievin’ some backwater politician of the money he stole from the townfolk.
Mama patted my hand and kissed my cheek. “Well, you look real good,” she allowed, but I could see that she was a little bit sad. “We’re real pleased every time we get a letter or a wav from you.”
I reminded myself to send letters more often. It didn’t take nothin’ to make Mama smile - she just wanted to know I was alive and doin’ well. And I didn’t really have nothin’ to buy with the money I got, anyways. Not that it was much, but I knew it helped them out.
Daddy leaned forward, lookin’ real serious. “Now you tell me true, little Kaylee. You happy, roamin’ around out there in the black? Cause that’s all we want -you to be happy.”
I thought of our meals round the kitchen table, like we was a family; my hammock in the engine room, where I could just lay there and listen to Serenity’s engines hummin’ away. I remember the time Jayne had brought me them lights to put up on my door; how Zoë always made sure that there was enough hot water left for me to wash my hair, even though she never said nothin’ ; how Wash could always make me laugh, and how the Cap’n looked after me - and all of us, cept maybe Jayne - like we was his blood-kin.
“Yep, “ I nodded, smilin’ big and wide. “Yep, Daddy. I’m real happy.”
~*~
For caras_galadhon, who asked for Wash/Zoe, and maybe some dinosaurs.
Indiscreet
“What in hell’s name are you doin’?”
Wash looked up to see his wife regarding him doubtfully. “I’m…straightening the console?”
Zoë raised an eyebrow. “Looks like you’re makin’ them dinosaurs do unnatural things.”
“Since when is sex unnatural?” Wash wanted to know, acting offended but looking unholy gleeful. “Look, dinosaurs have urges the same as anyone.”
“The same as anyone plastic?”
Wash shrugged, waved his hand at the little figures scattered around the cockpit. “Where do you think all these other dinosaurs came from?”
Zoë stared at him.
“They don’t judge you, Zoë,” Wash said, solemnly directing the gaze of the dinosaurs at her.
“That’s because I don’t have sex in the cockpit, where anyone could walk in,” she pointed out.
Wash shot her a meaningful look.
“Except that one time,” Zoë amended. “And we locked the door.”
~*~
For annmarwalk, who once upon a time wanted Gondorian and/or Rohirric underwear. Well, of course there are slashy implication.
Uncomfortable
Théodred had been acting strangely all morning. He could not seem to stay still in the saddle; every now and again, he would shift, standing up in the stirrups and repositioning himself as if he could not find a comfortable way to sit.
Finally Boromir drew his horse alongside Théodred’s. “Whatever is wrong?” he asked quietly. “I did not think I was that unrestrained last night.”
Theodred snorted laughter, but hesitated before he answered. “Are you…are you uncomfortable this morning?”
Boromir found this a very odd question. “What do you mean?”
To his confusion, Théodred looked sheepish. “I mean - how do your smallclothes fit?”
Now Boromir was truly confused. “I - I am not wearing any,” he admitted, lowering his voice further. “I could not find them in the tent this morning.”
There was a long pause as Théodred eyed him. “I am very long in the waist,” he said eventually. “The tailor complains about it incessantly.”
Boromir was puzzled for a moment, then he started to laugh, so loudly that the other men glanced back at them. “Then perhaps I should reclaim my smallclothes from you, the next time we stop?”
~*~
For lady_branwyn, who wanted Saruman for Halloween. Well, this is definitely Halloweeny, even if it’s now November.
Plot
Saurman looked suspiciously at the man in front of him. This sounded too good to be true, and he could not simply believe this information without questioning the source. Though, he admitted reluctantly, the source had so far been wholly reliable, and all the information had been excellent. But this was different.
“You are certain?” Saruman demanded again. “I trust you are aware of what I will do to you if you are lying.”
The young Marshal’s eyes flashed angrily. “Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?” Éomer asked, glaring. “Send your Orcs to the Fords in four days’ time - you will never have a better chance to rid yourself of Théodred, Théoden’s son.”
~*~
For sillimarilli, who is clearly on crack and wanted a Yoda and Gollum crossover.
Sage Advice
“There is no try. Do, or do not.”
“We wants it, yessss. We wants the Precioussss.”
“Embark on a quest, you will. If precious to you this object is, then seek it out, you must. Stand in your way, you must allow no-one to. Focus, young one. Connected through the Force are all living things - if truly want this Precious you do, then to feel where it is, you must learn.”
“Yes. Yessssss. We feel the Precious, feel it calling to usss. Oh, the nasssty Bagginsss! He keepsss it hidden. He doesss not understand! He callsss it evil, he does, oh nasty, thieving Bagginsssss! He will pay, oh yessss…”
“The Dark Side, is revenge. Corruption, obsession, despair, lie that way. Let yourself be drawn into such thoughts, you must not. From such emotions comes only tragedy.”
“Yesss, master. We should be kind to the Bagginsss, we should help him, oh such help we will give him. Yessss, we will be kind. So, so kind.”
“The Dark Side, also, is deceit. The Sith, perhaps you should consult.”