NurtureShock - New Thinking About Children (Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman)
The title of the book caught my eye in the library. I thought it was some new revolutionary research on parenting. After reading a few chapters, I pretty much glanced through the book very quickly. Nothing new that I am unaware of. Didn't think too much of it until the reference to King Lear about sibliing rivalry caught my eye. I heard of King Lear but never really paid much attention to it. After doing some reseach, I realised King Lear is about sibling rivlary and about how parents can be easily deceived by their own flesh and blood. Moral of the story in King Lear is "A person's actions speak louder than words". Now, that is really food for thought. Trust good old Shakespeare to incorporate life's tragedies into one of his great works.
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extracts from the book.....
Kramer often hears, "But I fought with my brothers and sisters all the time, and we turned out great." She doesn't disgree. Instead, she points out that in many sibling relationships, the rate of conflict can be high, but the fun times in the backyard and in the basement more than balance it out. This net-positive is what predicts a good relationship later in life. In contrast, siblings who simply ignored each otehr had less fighting, but their relationship stayed cold and distant long term. (pg 122)
It turns out that Shakespeare was right, and Freud was wrong. For almost a century, Freud's argument -- that from birth, siblings were locked in an eternal struggle for their parents' affection -- held huge influence over scholars and parents alike. But Freud's theory turns out to be incomplete. Sibling rivalry may be less an Oedipal tale of parental love, and more King Lear. (pg 127)