(no subject)
Okay so maybe my last post was a tad dramatic, and well, nonsensical probably, but I have been feeling better. Of course, nothing about Baltimore has improved, it's the same dastardly place it's been since I arrived, but a few days ago I experience one of those rare, 'I'm-glad-to-be-here-and-alive' tingly feelings I haven't had in a long time. And it's true, I am happy, I am very glad to be here at MICA--far from home, living a different life than I did last November, doing something extremely advantageous and hopefully fruitful for myself. I'm also learning quite a bit. Although I do still think I'm behind everybody else in GD, I'm not really all that worried, and that kind of self-affirmed faith in myself is invaluable to me. I'm conscious of it, and I haven't felt that in a long time.
By the time I get home for Winter Break in December I'll be 22 years old. I'm not happy about it. It's too old, and I'm terrified that everything is going to start moving quicker. Before I know it I'll be 42, and my youth will be out the window, and oh my fucking god I haven't been partying or making out enough.