(no subject)
what the fuck. why do i even try? what the hell am i doing? what am i looking for? closure? reassurance? do i need to know THAT badly that he doesnt love me? you know what, i fucking hate saying i miss him. yeah, no matter what fucking shit hes fucking put me through, i still love him. im still desperate to fucking hear him say it again. what the fuck!!! what the fuck is wrong with me? all my friends hate him. with a fucking passion. and they have every reason to after what he did to me. so why dont i hate him? why does he still fucking mean something to me? im fucking pulling my hair out thinking about this. this fucking life im going along with isnt going the way it was fucking supposed to. i was in just say no club......i fucking do drugs! fucking great! i wanted to go to college....i used to fucking get straight As....im failing fucking PE and its bringing down my fucking GPA. my mom hates me, im a whore, ive been in a deep obsessive love twice.....the first one stomped on my heart and i wanted to kill myself after him....and the second one just doesnt really acknowledge my existance. i should really stop drinking and ranting so damn much.