(no subject)
found out why he probably doesnt wanna talk to me...he has a gf...that explains why he didnt even bother to write me back. oh well. once again, im not good enough for him. s'all good. i got cole, right? yeah. cuz im so fucking in love with him. ::sarcasm:: they say you're supposed to wait for the one you love, because its just mean to be with someone else just to pass the time. well, fuck them. its happened to me so many fucking times, and its not like jeff or nick or anyone for that matter is ever going to "want me back". cuz guess what. ive never been loved back. but thats ok. well, it'll have to be cuz theres not a god damn thing i can do about it. fuuuuuuucking a! im never going to be able to keep a relationship going for too long. im never going to be able to trust anyone again. watch, next year, im eitehr going to be a frigid bitch, or a complete fucking whore. i dont want either one...but you become subconciously anorexic/bulimic, you take what you can get. and right now, im not even mildly content with my life, far from happy. theres only way i can be happy, but too many people refuse to let me fucking leave. fucking a. just fucking a man.